What is the secret to a healthy, romantic relationship? Before we can answer that, we have to first determine what a healthy relationship is. They don’t look the same for everyone because everyone has different needs. Not only that, but needs surrounding affection, space, sex, hobbies, shared values, communication, and more can change over time. That’s why a healthy relationship that works for you in your 20s may not work for you in your 30s.
It is hard to say that a relationship that goes against the norm isn’t healthy. People who practice polyamory or ethical non-monogamy may define a healthy relationship differently than a couple that practices monogamy. That’s why the term “healthy relationship” is broad and what makes one relationship thrive may threaten another one. One thing that all healthy relationships share, though, is adaptability. People change as they journey through life and relationships, so adapting to circumstances is vital. Here’s some advice to help you establish a stronger, healthier relationship.
Individuality
A healthy relationship does not exist if you or your partner is codependent. Instead, you want an interdependent relationship, which means you rely on each other for mutual support while maintaining your own unique identity and individuality. That essentially means that you have a balanced relationship. You each have mutual love and approval, but self-esteem isn’t dependent on each other. Maintain connections and friends outside the relationship and spend time pursuing personal interests and hobbies.
Trust
Trust is not going through a partner’s phone and not feeling the need to hide anything about yourself. There is inherent integrity and honesty within the relationship. You don’t worry about the other person pursuing others while you’re apart. Trust is much more than believing your partner will be faithful and honest. Feeling safe and comfortable with the understanding that you won’t hurt each other physically or emotionally is trust. You have your partner’s best interests in mind and that they respect your own choices and encourage you to be your own person.
Curiosity
One of the trademarks of a healthy relationship is curiosity. Each party is interested in each other’s thoughts, goals, and daily life. You are excited to hear about the other person’s day and tell them about your own day. You both want to grow together and don’t fixate on who you both used to or could be. The goal is to hold flexible mindsets about each other because that can help you overcome obstacles in a relationship, and ultimately make it more fulfilling.
Playfulness
Sure, playfulness in the bedroom is perfectly welcome, but that’s not what this pearl of wisdom is referring to. One of the best things you can do in your relationship is make time for fun and spontaneity. Joke and laugh together because you never know when one of you will encounter one of life’s many challenges. An obstacle can temporarily change the tone of the relationship, but being able to share laughter in lighter moments can help relieve that weight and strengthen your bond over time.
Time Apart
A healthy relationship involves spending time together, but the amount of time varies based on personal needs, commitments, living arrangements, and work. One of the keys to a successful relationship is time apart. You need to be able to recognize the need for personal space and individual hobbies. Spend time with family on your own or pursue a hobby with a group of friends. What you do doesn’t matter, but what does matter is not spending every moment of your relationship together. The last thing you want to believe is that your relationship will crumble if you spend time apart.
Open Communication
In a healthy relationship, you can regularly discuss successes, failures, and everything in between. You should not feel uncomfortable talking about any issues with your partner. Be free in your communication, whether it is about work, mental health symptoms, or even a friend that causes stress. A great partner may have a different opinion, but will listen without judgment before sharing their perspective. Just remember that communication goes both ways, so make sure your partner also feels like their voice is concerned.
