As common sense dictates, you can’t ask for a new car if there’s a broken down car blocking the garage. It’s the same with relationships. Just as spatial constraints control what you keep in your life, so too should emotional constraints limit the number and kind of relationships you maintain.
When you make space for something, you are consciously recognizing and deciding what you want in your life. If you go through your house and throw out all of the broken and unnecessary stuff, you will have a better grasp of what you need. Clearing space for something different helps you achieve the newly desired thing. The same concept applies to relationships or a companion.
Oftentimes people talk of wanting a soul mate while in a relationship with a person that they know is not “The One.”
Out with the old, in with the new…
Mr. Right will never come as long as you’re involved with Mr. Wrong; nor will Ms. Right come as long as you are involved with Ms. Wrong. There is no room for the right people in your life while you are pre-occupied with the wrong ones. For Mr. or Ms. Right to come or appear, you have to first let go of Mr. or Ms. Wrong.
At the most basic level of physics, two things cannot occupy the same space at the same time. Clearing space is thus very important in order to attract a new (and better) partner.
Remaining with partners because of emotional or financial dependence instead of love can be harmful. Unhealthy relationships can lead to significant emotional damage and it is important to recognize that and give your self the time to recover and rejuvenate so you’re in a position to accept “The One” into your life.
Being alone isn’t the same as being lonely
Sometimes people are afraid to end bad relationships because they fear being alone. These people don’t feel whole or complete by themselves. Some people confuse being alone with loneliness. Those people should reflect upon the difference between aloneness and loneliness, as explained by the mystic Osho:
- “Always remember the difference between aloneness and loneliness. Loneliness is like a wound. Loneliness means you are missing another person. Loneliness means you are thinking of another person constantly. The other is in your fantasy, in your mind, in your dreams. The other is not real, it is imaginary, but it is there and because it is not real you feel lonely.”
Aloneness should not be feared. The happiest and most self-confident people are those who are comfortable in their own skin; who are equally content alone or in company. Once people view aloneness as something to enjoy or even celebrate, they should no longer experience loneliness.
You complete you
Now, such people are whole – they no longer need others to feel complete. Love can flow, because now love is a sharing, not an escape. Now these individuals can go and share their wholeness. This love will not be possessive, because they are ready to be alone anytime. When one is happy being alone and happy being together, happiness cannot be destroyed; another can enjoy it and share it but cannot control it.”
Another person cannot make you whole or complete. The simple reality is that such feelings must arise from within.
So go on and channel your inner Ray Charles, and bellow to Mr. or Ms. Wrong to “Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more no more no more no more! Hit the road, Jack, and don’t you come back no more!”
As Esther Hicks wrote, “you can never have a happy ending at the end of an unhappy journey; it just doesn’t work out that way. The way you’re feeling, along the way, is the way you’re continuing to pre-pave your journey, and it’s the way it’s going to continue to turn out until you do something about the way you are feeling.”
Every person should be able to wake up every morning and say “I am the right person for the right man or woman that I share my life and love with unconditionally.”
Thank you for reading!
This article is compliments of Dherbs.com.