3 Ways To Turn Your Insecurities Into Confidence

Slow pan up casual black woman laughing and smiling

I grew up constantly distracted by the men in magazines I was supposed to idolize. I’d compile my small allowance in a desperate attempt to buy designer clothes so I could fit in with society’s perception of perfection.

I thought that if I could have what others had, I just might be enough.

Back then, I thought I was broken. And more often than I like to admit, I still fail to remember that I’m complete and whole today.

Beneath the pit in my stomach that forms in the wake of these moments of insecurity is an inner knowing that I am not broken and I do not need to be fixed. It’s a knowledge that I come from love even if I don’t always remember it.

You and I were born into this world as all-knowing, infinite balls of joy. Just because you may not see the incredible whole and complete human that you are at times, it doesn’t mean that part of you has disappeared. It’s just been slowly covered up over years of accumulated insecurities.

Here are three ways to overcome these insecurities and get back to that knowledge that you are not broken but are amazingly whole:

1. Share what keeps you separated.

Sharing insecurities can strengthen our relationship with others and ourselves. When we reveal those imperfect parts of ourselves to those that we care about, we generally wind up feeling more connected to them.

Why does sharing your insecurities breed a deeper sense of connection? Because while vulnerability is the core of shame and fear, it’s also the birthplace for love and belonging. So when we’re willing to be vulnerable and share what’s actually going on, others start to relate to us more deeply. It’s like you’re giving them a permission slip to be vulnerable too.

One of my favorite ways to share my insecurities is to first explain my fears. I’ll start by saying something like, “Hey, I’d really like to share something about myself that I haven’t told many others. It feels edgy and vulnerable; how do you feel about that?” Once you lay this out on the table, you’ll get a general sense of whether or not this person is in a space to receive. Once you have a “green light,” you’ll be able to share yourself with more compassion.

2. Engage in some appreciation.

Spend five minutes right when you wake up appreciating all that has shown up in your life as a result of you showing up. Our energy follows our focus, so start noticing what you are doing right every day. Once you nail this morning ritual, keep it going through your entire day. Make it a game to see how often you can actively appreciate you, as you are.

3. Try a “comparison detox.”

Experiment with removing everything that has you comparing yourself to others—be it a social media site or a magazine—since comparison is often the thief of our joy.

4. Remember childhood innocence.

Isn’t it interesting that most little ones don’t feel insecure? Think about how you felt as a child and observe how children move through the world seemingly unencumbered with self-doubt. Doing so may help you get back to this childlike state of confidence.

Consider what activities brought you joy and allowed you to express more of yourself as a child. Then, if you’re inspired to, consider bringing one of those activities back into your schedule. You can also make it a point to spend time with children through volunteering or babysitting.

 

2016-04-18T11:54:16+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

    A:

    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

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    Q: I have been listening to the Warren Balentine show and I heard you share your knowledge and wisdom all the time. I was just informed by my PCP that I had an abnormal pap and tested positive for HPV. I go have to go and see my OB tomorrow so they can scrape my cervix. I was diagnosed with this disease back in 1996 before I got married. Since then, I have given birth to four children. My last pap was before my fourth child and it was a normal pap. What products do you offer that can help fight and get rid of this disease. I do not want to take anything they might prescribe. I do not trust the drug industry at all. Your help would be appreciated.

    A:

    I would suggest you first perform the FULL BODY DETOX kit first, then the ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN, followed by the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. Drink FEMALE HEALTH TEA daily even while doing these cleanses. You can heal from HPV. It happens all the time!

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    Q: I like to request authoriziation to submit and share My Writings Monthly to Dherb for all to be inspired and empowered as a Freelance writer giving back. After reading the article on chemotherapy I am willing to share my Gift for so often healing starts in the mind.

    A:

    Sure! Submit to me at this e-mail address; Or, you can post them directly on our â€COMMUNITY BOARD†under "Spiritual/Inspirational."

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    Q: I would like to know what I can do to get my boyfriend back? It's been 5 months since we've been broken up, I have trust issues. I texted him form another number. I love him dearly though. It's as if we've been broken up since yesterday, I cannot get him off my mind or out of my system. I have to have my Papa Bear back!

    A:

    You must first work on your trust issues. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone that does not trust them. This is a sign from the Universe that you need to do some self improvement. Most people with trust issues do not love themselves, and have a fear of being vulnerable. You must love yourself, and be able to be vulnerable to attract the kind of love you want. This is your opportunity to clean up this negative energy in yourself. If you do not, this will keep happening to you. It's time to love yourself, and then you will get your man! You can try to call him and tell him you miss him, and you want to work on the relationship. If he is open he will respond. Tell him you know you have issues and you are working on them. If he does not respond, work on yourself anyway. This is about you not him. You can do it!
    Sending love and light!

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    Q: I think it is interesting that you spend a lot of time pushing your personal opinions and share limited advice. What do you understand about integrity and professionalism? Or even respect for others? I do not see it. If people are looking to you for help why do you spit on their problems? I was researching your site to help a client resolve their addiction to smoking. I have to say I was sadly disappointed to read your article. It is not helpful nor is it informative. In fact it enforces shame and negativity on those who seek help and positive life changes. I would hope you could restructure your article to benefit all. It would be beneficial to check out higher consciousness sites on herbal healing. I wish for you in this moment to find peace and resolve your anger and prejudice that is so apparent in your articles. Love, light and peace.

    A:

    YOUR perception is not MY reality, Love. I am doing me and you do you. Tell you what: you do what I am failing to do or what you feel I am failing to do. This would be more appropriate. Pick up the ball where you deem it dropped. Talk is cheap and actions speak. I have done the actions and am doing them (read the reviews and testimonies on Dherbs.com). It speaks for itself. My new smoking article will reflect where I am presently, but it will still blast the ignorant cigarette smokers. One can't just blame government and the cigarette industry for the actions of the dumb cigarette smoker. Dumb and weak Americans must also foot partial blame, actually most of it, because they had a choice and there was no gun to their head forcing them to smoke. These people were simply weak and stupid and not to mention unconscious. Period! It doesn't sound nice but it's factual and truthful. I don't sugar coat the truth because sugar is a poison! The first article was written 6-7 years ago and that's why it's so brief. Thank you for visiting the #1 website in all-natural herbal products and raw uncompromising information that people all across the world are eating up and just can't get enough of.

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    Q: First I want to say thank, Yah has blessed you with knowledge and you share it with others. Ignorance is sin. I was reading your page about cancer and wanted to know should I stop using Vaseline also, I stop using lotions because of the ingredients and started using vaseline. Please share your wisdom.

    A:

    Yes! You would be wise to stop using Vaseline which is nothing but congealed petroleum (mineral oil). This crap has no business on the human body. It's toxic! It prevents the pores of the skin from breathing. Discard it! Instead, use Un-Petroleum, a safe alternative.

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    Q: I would like to ask your opinion about broken capillaries. We are talking about 5 year old child. She has one broken capillary on her hand, since the age of 1 or 2 years old. Then about 9 month ago, after a day on the beach and sunburn, she got another broken capillary on her face, and after that, 3 more on one arm, and 3 on her leg. I showed this to doctor, he ordered full blood count test, which came back normal. This was last December. Before, her eyes had only one red string on her white part of the eye, now she has several of them in both eyes. The fact that worries me the most, is when I open her eyes, on the bottom white part in both eyes, she has wide thick large red capillaries.

    A:

    Sounds like the capillaries are weak! Change the child's diet (less meat, dairy, sodium products). Let the child perform the Children's Detox. Let the child drink Heart Heart Tea daily (1-2 cups), as this will greatly help the child. It seems as if the diet of the child is very insalubrious unless the problem is congenital in origin.

    Product Links:
    Children Detox
    Hearty Heart Tea

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Q: Your products as a whole all look interesting really. But I thought I would ask about the anti-viral kit. My mother was actually diagnosed with herpes a few years back due to a jackass of a husband she had. I know she's been taking the suppressive medication for it. I personally do not have much faith in modern medicine. I don't really trust doctors, they are easily paid off by big pharmaceutical companies. Anyway, is the single kit generally enough to rid a person of their viral problems? I am sure there's many factors on this but in general is it enough? Personally am even thinking of purchasing it for myself as well as the other cleanse products. I have been reading a lot about the ph diets and while I don't believe my diet is as bad as most Americans. I would like to run some complete cleanse stuff on me. Probably all of them actually. Make sure to get out everything. Virus bacteria and acidic deposits. So even will probably look at your std cleanse.

    A:

    In many cases, only one kit is necessary to eradicate the herpes virus. For more severe cases, some individuals may need to also perform the Full Body Cleanse or perform 2 Anti-Viral Kits to strengthen the immune system and continue to fight against viral disease and infection.

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    Q: For several years, I have a pins and needles feeling all over including burning. I feel light- headed frequently and feels like I would fall to the floor if I don't concentrate on keeping myself steady. I have lower back pain (center) that does not relent. My foot feels like there is current running in my feet all the time and my pinkie on my right hand feel numb. My neuro tested me for MS and it came back negative. I have been to several doctors and no one can tell me what it is or help me with my symptoms. They have resorted to calling my condition "stress". I do feel anxious most times and lack optimism. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance for your response.

    A:

    You are in need of a full body cleansing. I recommend you try our FULL BODY DETOX. Also, start drinking NERVES TEA (which you can drink while Detoxing).

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    Q: Hi, I have been dealing with what I believe to be depression for years. I once was prescribed Zoloft and I took the meds for 1 month. I did not want to take drugs so I discontinued use. I have gone up and down in my career and love life. Now I just feel tired and feel I am steadily spiraling down. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what. I have gone to therapy several times and nothing last. I desire to have a full life and believe GOD wants us to live abundantly. I just seem to keep struggling, I will do well for a few weeks then out of nowhere I will start sabotaging things. Can you tell me what products I can use to gain my life back?

    A:

    You can get your life back, Ma'am! First, DETOX (FULL BODY DETOX). Read our free articles while Detoxing and make sure you order and read our MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL too which is very important in healing as it shows you how to work the mind to your benefit.

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    Q: Dear Sir, I was told that you were going to be sending me an email about my situation. I've wrote you a few times giving you bits and pieces of information it seems. I was asking one of your representatives about surgery and from the information I gave him he seems to think that I didn't give you all the information that I should have. Well about 13 years ago a lump formed in my breast after my 4th child was born. For years it's just been there. In 2005, after a mammogram they found calcifications in my breast. They did a biopsy and it came back fine. Six months later they decided that they wanted to remove the lump and when they did they found a small tumor. Since then I've taken herbs and God completely healed me. Well after another six months the lump came back but I didn't want any more surgery so I looked up poultice in my "Back to Eden" book and found a poultice that I used. I mixed flax seed meal, yellow corn meal, and funnelgreek tea together and left the poultice on my breast overnight for three nights. My breast began to get sensitive so I stopped using it. About a week later I noticed that the ducted around my nipple was indented, soon after that my nipple itself went inward, then after that I noticed what I thought was another lump in my breast but over a short period of time the lump extended from my armpit to my nipple. Now that whole area is hard and red. I got an ultrasound done and it revealed that I have swelling and cystic form in my breast. They want to do a biopsy but I am against it from what happened last time. Now I have pain in my arm also and at night I can barely sleep. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do except maybe go ahead and let me cut my breast. I have started your Detox program and I know it's working on my body but I don't want if it's doing anything for my swollen tissue inside my breast. I have lost my concentration because I'm constantly reminded about my breast because of the pain. I am a full time student but I'm thinking about dropping out of my classes until this issue is resolved because I can't focus on anything but the pain right now. I went a different doctor on 10/27/08 and they did a cvc (whatever that is) looking for an infection inside my body. The test came back normal, but my scheduled ultrasound is not for another week and I've told them that I'm in pain and need something done now. But they said that's the first available time.

    A:

    It appears the pain is just too unbearable for you and as such you may have to give in to the surgery in order to get immediate but short term relief. I had a friend who experienced what you experienced and the pain was so unbearable she couldn't sleep. I felt for her and I feel for you. I think you must do what is necessary for elimination or reduction of pain first and foremost. The FULL BODY DETOX (FBD) is helping your swollen tissues, but it seems you mind is so distracted that you are in doubt mode and doubt is the subconscious will to fail. If you know you can't do what you need to do (naturally) to deal with this situation, do what you must for present day relief. You have free will here, Beloved! Please use FEMALE BREAST OIL and Drink FEMALE HEALTH TEA during your FBD.

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    Q: Today was my first day of Full Body Cleanse, but I only made it through formula 1. After taking formula one, I started feeling dizzy and nauseous. I vomited a few times, and then I tried to eat something before taking formula two. Before I could take the pills, I began to vomit again. This was three hours ago, and I still haven't stopped. Blood came up a few times and a few green and yellow fluids. At this point, I have nothing on my stomach and everything I eat comes back up. Please help? I plan to pick back up tomorrow, but I wanted to know if there was something that I could do as to not repeat today's episode and have to leave work sick. Thank you.

    A:

    The toxicity in your body is trying to be expelled. Try lowering the dosage with only 2-3 capsules of each formula and see if you can tolerate that, and then try to work your way back up to the 5 capsules once your body assimilates.

    Also, try drinking plenty of soothing Ginger, Peppermint, or Chamomile tea. These are great for your stomach!

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    Q: I am loving my FULL BODY DETOX. I have realized that I am not as disciplined as I previously thought. Having to make the wonderful changes you stated to return to optimum health has been a trial. I have started over several times. I just hate taking pills...I can smell them before opening the bottle Anyway the doctor said they found Pre cancerous cells in my breast and suggested I have a mire prior to having the cells removed (I have absolutely no intentions of having the butchers cut on me) please share with me your thoughts on these procedures....I bypassed Ramadan to do the FULL BODY DETOXand I'm planning to start the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. afterwards. However, I did allow them to perform the breast ultrasound and mammogram. I had a breast biopsy and that's when they found the pre-cancer cells I immediately started TBC. There is cancer in my family history on my mother's side. Also on a different note I love the videos on you tube. How can I send them to my email to share with others that I know i.e... toxic kitchen, toxic bedroom etc..Thank you and may God always bless you, your family and all those who work at dherbs and supporters.

    A:

    Precancerous cells? LOL!!! This is a fraud to scare people (women) and it works too! Pre cancerous cells means PRE = BEFORE, cancerous cells. Precancerous cells are normal cells and thus there's no need to worry. This is just an excuse to incite fear in you and have you allow them to put you on drugs and/or perform surgery. If the FULL BODY DETOX (FBD) is too much for you, order 6 bottles of ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD and take 5 capsules every 2-3 hours for 20-days following the food/dietary regimen of the FBD! Just keep doing what you're doing!

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    Q: Hi, I am currently on the Anti-Viral Cleanse and I can feel that it is working. Mainly I am noticing I'm having dreams of past experiences which have emotional trauma which I have associated with having herpes. These are really intense and I know they are the herbs working as these are memories I have tried to repress for years. Is there anything you recommend to help shift this stored energy? I think I need help to move these emotions or the healing won't be complete. Also - I forgot to take the pills for an entire day and a half on the cleanse as I was delayed at a work conference. Will this break the entire cleanse and I need to start from the beginning again? I look forward to hearing from you, Emily Steckelbruck +61 413 391 064

    A:

    Sometimes your emotions does affect the healing process. You can try using some of the Elixirs to help clear out your emotions of the past like the Aura Cleansing Elixir or the Anti-Negative Thoughts Elixir. You can also try the Aromatherapy Inhalers. If it's still the same day you that you forget to take one of the formula's you can still take it at a later time.

    If you forget and it's the day after just continue on without it or add an extra day to the cleanse. Taking them out of order doesn't have an effect on your cleanse as long as you're still taking the supplements daily. The schedule can be adjusted according to you personal time, just be sure that the hours in between are the same as listed in the manual. It is significant to follow the regiment exactly.

    Anti-Hate Elixir - http://dherbs.com/store/antihate-elixir-p-302.html Anti-Negative Thoughts Elixir - http://dherbs.com/store/antinegative-thoughts-elixir-p-308.html Aura Cleansing Elixir - http://dherbs.com/store/aura-cleansing-elixir-p-299.html Spiritual Bliss Inhaler - http://dherbs.com/store/spiritual-bliss-inhaler-p-168.html Feel Good Inhaler - http://dherbs.com/store/feel-good-inhaler-p-156.html

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    Q: My face has broken out severely since the start of my Detox and I have a little female discomfort. Could this be a reaction to herbs?

    A:

    You're experiencing HEALING CRISIS or THE LAW OF CURE. Read our "DETOX TROUBLESHOOTING" Guide as well as the article "HEALING CRISIS". Nothing to worry about! The body uses the skin (largest organ of elimination) for cleansing!

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    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

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    Q: I weigh 300 lbs, and have been overweight since a child. I also have much guilt and shame in my life. I had a gastric bypass. I lost weight, and gained most of it back. I desperately want to be thin. I also have hypothyroidism [constantly cold, body temp 93-96 degrees]. Please help.

    A:

    For your weight problem, please give our 20-day Weight Release Kit and Regimen a try. After this kit, jump immediately to the Full Body Cleanse. You can do either 3-week kit first. These cleanses can help to strengthen the eliminative channels and re-boot your body to perform at the level you desire.

     

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    Q: I am very interested in Dherbs herbal formulas - they appear to be high quality, good formulas. I have a question for you. I eat a vegan diet, about 50% raw foods (sometimes more), get regular exercise, and love to spend time in nature. I am a generally healthy person who rarely gets sick. I have healed myself from asthma and allergies and other ailments by living a healthy lifestyle and using herbs and energy work. However, I do still suffer from cramping during my period (probably endometriosis) and from cervical dysphasia due to HPV. I would love to get these cleared up, too! What do you recommend in terms of your herbal formulas? For example, should I do the whole body detox first, then start in with the ailment specific recommendations, or start everything all at once? Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciate.

    A:

    We would recommend that you first start out with the Full Body Cleanse, followed by the Anti-Viral Kit, followed by the Female Cleanse. These should help you to clear up those unwanted reproductive ailments and provide essential nutrients for female health.

    After this series of cleansing, we also recommend the the following supplements in order to to stay on the path towards whole body wellness.

    Menstrual Cycle Formula
    Female Hormonal Formula
    Female Health Tea
    Anti-Viral Formula

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    Q: Is there anything for people with herniated discs? If you have, would you share what knowledge you have about the two with me? I would appreciate that so much. Thank you.

    A:

    Because herniated disks usually results in pressure on spinal roots they cause considerable pain and damage nerves. I recommend a person take the FULL BODY DETOX for the whole body and after detoxing, take lots of MSM SULFUR and 6-9 capsules of NERVES FORMULA. A chiropractic should also be seen and acupuncture or acupressure should be considered.