5 Ordinary Acts That Make You Extraordinary

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I have no outward sign of my disability. I don’t have a guide dog, a white cane or dark glasses. The glasses are only for the sun. I blend in. I look like everyone else. I appear sighted.

But I am a fraud. I am passing. My truth is that I was blinded by an accident 3.5 years ago. My visual landscape is fuzzy, partially erased, twinkling, dimmed. With my new lack of visual acuity came change. There were many things I could no longer do and others that became challenging.

And even though I, at my core, remained the same, how I relate to others and the way others relate to me has changed. And most importantly, the ways in which I need the help and support of others to function from day to day.

The lessons I have learned in my new normal of needing help and support are lessons for all. We all have to help and support each other. Because I am not the only one who is passing, with no outward sign of disability. Many, most of us, are wounded inside. We have experienced abuse, victimization, chronic illness, cancer, the pain of the loss of someone close to us, the experience of war, or the challenge of chronic pain or disabilities. So we have to learn how to hold each other up. When people tell you their truth, share their wounds and their need for help, what do we do or say. There is a point where we have to make choices or decisions about how we will react.

As a psychologist and life coach, what I found and was surprised by, were the myriad reactions to my sudden disability. There was a range of choices I saw people make. Some people just disappeared. They did not call for many months and some never called at all. Others just wanted to pretend like it never happened, to forget.

Most wanted to help but were not really sure how. They showed up, but did not ask and at first I was unable to tell them what I needed. So in this place of don’t ask and I can’t tell, they brought casseroles. There were people who were so willing and wanting to help that they would say yes to anything I threw out. And in the end they would overcommit and end up saying things like “Helping you is just too much of a stress for us.”

And then there are those few who just roll up their sleeves and jump in with you — they are committed, they can anticipate your needs. They tend to be the natural helpers or those that have somehow done it before. And they understand how to be selfless.

I would argue that most of us are not natural helpers. Given this, however, there are positive ways you can react. Simple, specific and small things you can do so that you can move past your fear or confusion or feelings of discomfort. These are five ordinary acts that make us extraordinary helpers.

1. Be there — just show up in some way. 
Be there even if you don’t know what to say or what to do. Just sitting and talking and making a person laugh can create distractions from the ugly stuff going on. I wanted people just to sit with me and tell me funny stories or regale me with the crap in their lives, and maybe do this over coffee and chocolate. People told me they were afraid they would do or say the wrong thing and be judged. But right after the trauma, I really did not have the time or energy to judge others. I was too busy figuring out how to be disabled. A person brought me a biography of Helen Keller. But at least it was an audiobook. And I was okay with it.

2. Be honest about how you feel and share it. 
That you don’t know what to say and, that you are scared and that it freaks you out that this could have happened to you. The best thing people said to me was: “Man, that really sucks.” A friend recently told me she had cancer and I said, “I don’t want you to have to go through that.” And that is exactly how I felt in that moment. Authenticity is key.

3. Think about what you can do to help and what is needed. 
People would ask me what I needed, but I truly did not know. This was my first rodeo with blindness. So make some suggestions of what you can do based on your strengths, skills and talents, what you are good at and what you can truly deliver. This is not the place to over-promise and under-deliver. Small gestures are as good as large ones. Through trial and error, and dialogue, you will figure it out. It may not be pretty or the best thing at first, but it is something.

4. Healing is a long-term process. 
It takes place over months, years and yes, sometimes lifetimes. You can’t snap your fingers and make everything okay quickly. But I noticed people wanted to do that. Because if I was okay, then they could stop worrying and be okay, too. But I could not accommodate them. Don’t blame or shame those when they are in the long process of whatever is there timetable of healing and recovery. And remember that what people will need will change over time on that journey.

The pressure of needing to appear okay, plus our amazing ability to adapt over time means we also have the fairy dust to make people forget. Forget we have disabilities, wounds, scars, illnesses. I am no longer surprised when I hear things like: “I saw you but you ignored me.” “Look at this hot guy I met last night,” (showing picture on smartphone) or, “Oh crap, I forgot to tell you about that step.”

People wonder why I did not go up and say hi to them when I saw then at the grocery store, or why I walked right past them somewhere. They have forgotten and I have to remind them. I still cannot see you. You have to approach me. I cannot recognize you or see that. And I still need help. And probably always will.

5. Be open to your own transformation. 
You can learn much about yourself when you deal with someone who has had something terrible, unthinkable, unchangeable happen to them. Pay attention to how you feel, react, or hell, don’t react. If you have fear and discomfort, from where does that come? Can you have a sense of humor about it? Can you be open enough to show helplessness and vulnerability? Can you be truly okay with what you can offer, and can you say no when what is asked of you is too much? Can you make it not about you, just for a moment?

Having someone close to you experience trauma or tragedy should be an opportunity for you to learn and grow. When we have a life-quake and the ground shakes, the tremors should shake you. And in that you must learn ways to steady yourself and be stable and strong.

We all need to be strong for each other. So many of those around you need help and support. And now you know ways to give it. In small and simple human gestures, you can be someone’s hero. You can be extraordinary.

By: Lisabeth Saunders Medlock
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

2014-02-06T12:44:46+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I'm 17 years of age and go to a boarding high school in Florida. I just moved here from L.A. Over the summer. I've always been passionate about picking up valuable information that is not taught in schools. Even though I've always gotten good grades in all classes, I have always had a dislike for school. I feel like it is trapping me, because I have very little time to study topics that are truly beneficial such as law, herbs, history and many other topics. I just wanted to give you a brief background image of me; bottom line is this... I want to be part of what you are doing. I know you probably have so many positions filled. And I've never been materialistic and never liked school, but I also understand that if I want to get out in the world on my own right now I need to have a situation where I can make a sufficient amount of money to support myself. So I'm just letting you know I'm very passionate about helping people heal themselves and I would be very committed to what you are trying to accomplish in terms of healing people mentally and physically. I feel so thankful because most people don't get the opportunity to come across TRUE herbalism, TRU history, TRUE law, etc, until they are deep into adulthood, if ever. And I feel like I must fulfill my opportunity starting NOW. Because if I don't, I would be failing the mission I was incarnated here to do. Peace

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You have recognized at a very young age that school is a waste of time as measured against the subjects of your heart. Make the time to study the topics of your interest. It's well worth it, Beloved! I did it for many years of my life and when I was out of school and got into knowledge, I spent almost whole days studying the interests of my desires which has led me to the life I am now living. I'm glad I followed my heart. In regards to Dherbs, unfortunately Beloved, I am an Inter-net company only and thus have no positions available. What is your zodiac sign? Maybe we can help you to find work that is suitable to your interests. Your 10th House explains the area's best for you work-wise. Hey, thanks for reaching out, Beloved! One day I would like to employ thousands of people. If you ever want to talk or need advice, give me a call!

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    Q: I know your probably busy helping all these lost people out there, so I'm not going to take a lot of time. Could you please refer me to a good Raw food diet book? I've been vegan for a while and trying to make another transformation towards my Original Diet.

    A:

    Please purchase our "ALTERNATIVE HEALTH DIRECTORY" e-book which lists a plethora of vegan and raw foods resources (books, magazines, lists, etc.). It's just what you're looking for.

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

    Birth control pills play a big role in female reproductive cancers. Women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men. In attempting to stop or prevent life (birth control), they are ending up losing their very own lives. And the birth control pills cause cancer in areas of the body that denote femininity (breasts, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus and vagina). This is a form of language here. You have disease and female organ(s) which basically means your disease is specifically related to an issue of femaleness or femininity, that's why the disease manifests in these "female" organs. In attempting to be like and compete with males, females compromise their feminine integrity and goddess nature which "eats them up" (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.) inside. When the cancer appears in any female organ, it serves as a sign or sensor that the problem lies on a deeper metaphysical level pertaining to emotions, thoughts and attitude."

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    Q: Thank you so much for doing all that you do. I wish that you were in my everyday life...If I ever come to Cali, I hope to be able to take you up on some of your services. I have given your site out to many people that cross my paths...most recently, a man with diabetes who is going blind. He seemed to be quite thankful for your info...I do hope that he contacts you...and my friend who perhaps has a problem with a parasite(s). But me....okay just waiting for tax refund and then I will hit you up for another full-body detox...and perhaps a parasite kit myself...as it is sad but true..with my current boyfriend careless but kind...I now have a problem with genital herpes...a small breakout every other month...I eat well for the most part...ofcourse it could be better. But the stress is hish...I am working on that. But my question is...would an air purifier do me any good? You see I live in Dundalk, Maryland...near baltimore...near a Steel plant, and a yeast plant, and close to the military practice bombing sites, and other military negative stuff, and the city polluted with car pollution, tons of light pollution, and they spray for mosquitos...then I go to work and I work at a place called ABC Supply...great place right, well the stress is high, and the building we work in is shot...I swear there is mold under the carpets in one of the rooms...the ceiling is constantly leaking and we don't know what from...and the fumes from forklifts and the asphalt from the shingles...the filterfrom the intake gets changed like once a year...but is filled with 'shit' probably in a day or week. So the answer is to get a new job and move...yeah I know...I just don’t know how to do it...or where to go. Since I moved here, I have a problem with my ears...filling up with water or histimine or whatever...usually if I don't drink enough water near my menstrual cycle...I went to a doctor once and basically walked out of the office telling him what to do for his cold...yasee..he was no help...I knew more than him already....these past two years have been bad for allergies. Now, my ears and my throat...my nose too...though I do clean it out with water and that helps. I am not the only one. In the past two years there is a great number of people who say the same thing...they have never had a problem with allergies until these past two years. My grandmother and next door neighbor are two..but many more...well they just started up that steel mill again probably about that time...they sprayed hard core for mosquitos right before my grandmother started having problems...global warming for one...and i dont' know..but two years ago I was involved with a group of people sending out petitions against an LNG liquid natural gas plant that would bring in a ship two times the size of a football field and a huge pipe line to pennsylvania, and a skyscraper of a building to store the gas. Well...we fought against it...but apparently the gas company has more say than our own local government...I don't know...but hear about it every once in a while that they are still trying to get it built. So, an air purifier?? what do you think? Much Love and Health and Thanks!! Peace, RESPONSE: Thank you so very much for your words, Beloved. Much obliged from the heart!

    A:

    In regards to your question: Oh yes! By all means purchase an air purifier or an ozone machine (which will actually be best or better for you). Make sure you detox (FULL BODY DETOX) periodically, consume ACTIVATED CHARCOAL, and take plenty of IODINE PHOSPHATE as sea weed is great for neutralizing the effects of radiation.

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    Q: I also wanted to ask you....many of these kits or all of them I think include an herbal colon cleanser of some type....I'm one that doesn't use public bathrooms...talk about sickening..seriously somebody at my work has managed to crap on the wall in the past so needless to say I don't use bathrooms other than my own. Anyway my question is will these things make you run to the bathroom? or is it gentle enough I can make it 4-6 hours? Also if I were to order multiple kits are they ok to use all at the same time? Or is it suggested to use on then start on the other? After all I know the body can only get rid of toxins so fast.

    A:

    1. No, the colon herbs won't cause daytime need to defecate as you take them at night before bed.

    2. No, you cannot take all 3 kits simultaneously - too many capsules to take! You can take one at a time, but you can take them back to back.

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    Q: Hi it's me again. I just read what you said about meat and what I don't understand is if meat was not good for us why in the Bible people eat Lamb. How would you explain back in the Bible times during Abraham and Moses when they use to offer sacrifice and kill a lamb were they cruel and going against God. And those who couldn't afford animals like Lamb would use bird eggs. In the book of Exodus chp. 12: 11,21,27,43,48 and Lev. 23:5 and 12:3, Deut. 16:7and Exodus 34:25 when the death Angel was passing and God told them to kill a Lamb and put the blood on the door post and gave the command for them to roast it. How would you explain that because up until this day the Jews still eat Lamb. Even fish, it was fish that God used to feed the 5000 people. Are you saying I can't eat fish at all. I would like to know some of the things you eat in the place of meat , fish and chicken. I really want to change my eating habit.

    A:

    All meat consumption came AFTER the Fall of Man (Genesis Chapter 6). Man can eat meat while in a degenerate state but to return back to Eden he/she must go back to plant foods. Also, meat today is greatly TAINTED unlike meat 4,000 - 6,000 years ago! It's not the same. Jews are not the healthiest people, by the way! Health conscious people are!

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    Q: I have been anemic since my cycle started age 11. In the year 2001 I had the first tranfusion and found out that I had fibroids. At that time they were small. It took three years later to find out that you can shrink them and disolve them from a book called healing fibroids a natural cure. I have always been a heavy bleeder but in 2004 the bleeding got worse where i had to leave work to go to the emergency room. I got IV fliud and was told this is my normal period. I never had to go to the hospital because of bleeding too much. Any way in 2001 I was on the pill and taking iron 3* a day 325ml. Got off the pill because of the weight gain and was still bleeding hard due to everyday stress. 2006 I had two more transfusions with in 5 months of each other. All the doctors want to do is cut me. I refuse. After the last transfusion, I decided to get iron through IV. What a dissaster. The hospital gave me too many things at once. I was fine when I got home but, at 11pm I could not sleep too well. I began having heart palpitations. Rushed to the ER in such pain, I was in pain to stand up, in pain to sit down. I had to pace the floor and sit down and get back up again several times. The intense pain did not stop until I stood bent over my mother's lap for 10 mins. It stopped at 4:30am. Well they kept me for four days. Every test and xray done on me and they found nothing wrong with my heart. Good. But what on earth caused the pain. I have not been able to work for the past 3 years. Every time my cycle starts I lose a lot of blood, I am weak, I can't walk like a normal person and my heart is always pounding hard at every little movement I make. I blacked out in the shower in 2007. I am currently taking cold pressed wheat germ oil to put oxygen in my blood and to stop the pain in my chest. I look worn, my skin from head to toe is covered in scars, and I have no finger nails and my hair is greying all over. I am 36 and I am literally half dead. Can any of your products help me get me up off the couch and walking like a normal person again.

    A:

    Beloved, I recommend that you first perform the FULL BODY DETOX. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the FIBRIOD BUSTER CLEANSE AND REGIME. After this kit I recommend that you perform the 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE followed by the WEIGHT RELEASE CLEANSE AND REGIMEN. While performing all these cleanses above, when drinking water make sure you add KHEMETIAN GOLD and OXY-DROPS to every glass of water you drink. In addition to performing these kits, please read our FREE articles and begin to properly educate yourself. There is healing from all that you suffer from!

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    Q: I have been trying to get pregnant for the last couple of months with no luck. I was diagnosed with endometriosis 12 years ago and I have an 11 year old son. I got married six months ago and I want to have 2 more children. After reading the information on your website, how many success stories of people who were cured of endo... and how many people became pregnant after using your product? What would you recommend?

    A:

    We recommend you first perform our Full Body Cleanse.

    After this, perform the Female Cleanse.

    Lastly, perform the Fertility Kit and Regimen.

     

    Each of these cleanses can address specific needs within your body to help heal your body from adverse conditions.

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    Q: I was most impressed by your website. The information to support your products and your obvious interest in informing the public caught and kept my attention. As I searched further into Black Seed Tea, the reason for my visit, I noticed your product ALCOHOL BUSTER. The comment of "on the metaphysical level, alcohol consumption also impairs the human aura" although very non clinical, is very much my way of thinking, it got my attention. I read as far as the disclaimer, "the formula does not have the power to prevent consumption of alcohol as only will power and a made up mind can do this." Here's where I step out of character and find myself writing this e-mail. It has been my experience while working with people from all walks of life, who are members of any 12 step program, that a reference to will power as a prevention of anything is a two edged sword. While I agree will power is important in abstention, I believe the person is benefited by using their personal will power to seek help, to commit to recovery, to take care of the physical, mental and emotional bodies. I don't believe "human" will power is the power that prevents consumption. The suggestion that "will power and a made up mind can prevent consumption of alcohol" to a person with an addiction could become a deadly idea. This of course is my opinion, do with it what you feel is appropriate.

    A:

    I feel you in where you're coming from, but I truly believe and know human willpower plays a role in prevention and healing of all disease. The strongest thing humans have is a will. Will meshes with desire in many cases. Both are strong in humans. Now, you're dealing with a person with addiction in regards to your last statement and I can totally understand where you are coming from but the sick person is not exempt from any laws of healing. There is no real or true healing absent willpower to do a thing, a beneficial thing. The addicted person must be first dealt with on the physical and psychological levels and then the spiritual and energetic (getting to the root of the addiction: perhaps a 2nd chakra problem or something hanging over from a past life). All addiction points to spiritual void and therefore the only ultimate healing here is mental or spiritual via mental. As you know, it's mind-body-spirit and all must be dealt with for healing. Will is important in abstention but we don't won't people to focus on abstaining which is usually converted into "can't have" by the addicted person. We want people to only focus on the good, the healthy, what they need and require, not what they don't want or can't have because their subconscious mind will create the situations and circumstances by which these people end up consuming the thing that is insalubrious for them. It never fails. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and plenty of other alcoholics. We want people to have and use willpower to GO FOR the best things for them, will in DOING the right and healthy things for themselves. All healing is ultimately within self. As a man thicket so is he! Peace be unto you fellow metaphysician!

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

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    Q: I had 2 jaw bone (cavitations) surgeries, from holistic dentist, a dentist I went to prior caused major trauma to the bone and 3 days later my whole face was on fire, this has been 3 years since this happened, he might have pushed the infection I had in my system through the nerves, I am a whole lot better but still experience pain, pressure and fogginess in my head causing me not to think straight at times, pain behind my ears and in lower jaw, as well as discomfort and pressure. I would like to know what product would be good for this, the brain and heart circulation herb? I pretty much have to stay on a raw food diet to maintain my health but this is not totally getting rid of the problem, there is inflammation and pain in my jaws if I eat the wrong thing. Could you please guide me in the right direction?

    A:

    Herbs to try: BRAIN TUNER, NERVES FORMULA, MSM SULFUR, and HEADACHE AND PAIN FORMULA. Also, purchase OXY-DROPS for your drinking water (10-20 drops per glass).

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    Q: To make a long story short, my mother just found out that the 'cancer' her doctors had been treating her for the past 8 yrs was misdiagnosed. Her new Doctor informed her she's HIV positive and all the drugs; radiation/chemo treatments have only weakened her body. This information is quite distressing. My mother is now taking 15 pills a day and is essentially confined to home and bed. My mother will be 68 yrs old at the end of this month. Please advise what you would recommend she takes that will help her feel better and help get the toxic waste out of her body that these pill are helping to create. Thanks for any info regarding this matter.

    A:

    Put her on the FULL BODY DETOX. After the detox, have her take ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD capsules (5 capsules) 5-6 times a day and drink RAINFOREST TONIC TEA. She must eat only raw foods. Please read our â€CANCER: Causes and Remedies†article.

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    Q: I would like to know, if you have any skin care programs, for women age 50 and over. I am going to try the detox progarm as soon as possible. I truly believe that I am going to be very happy with the results. I am 51 years old, and I want to look and feel my best. I have a lot of belly fat, and that makes me feel uncomfortable, because some people will ask me, if I am pregnant. This seems very strange to me, because my stomach seems to be the main place, where all the fat is building up. I desire to have beauty inside and out. I want to be completely whole. If you have tips for skin care and body care, please let me know. Some people say that I look like I am in my forties, however, if I did not have all of this extra body fat, I could really believe what they are saying.

    A:

    The blood needs to be cleansed in order to enhance your skin and eliminate excess fat.

    We would recommend you perform the Full Body Cleanse which can help improve skin complexion, release weight, and detoxify, purify, rejuvenate, and strengthen the body and all of its eliminative channels.

    We also have a Facial Skin Kit that works to naturally restore the health of skin by helping to remove blemishes, hydrate skin, and even out complexion for resilient skin.

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    Q: I am writing about everything I am dealing so I can feel my best again. I want your recomendation on all the things I have been dealing with since I got sick a year ago. here is the list of alements. and most are caused by the bad kidney and some from the meds. kidney disease high phosphrous high blood pressure, yesturday 252/151 sleep apnea they want me to sleep with a machine on my face, enlarge prostate chest pains poor circliation in my legs from the high phosporous constipation insomnia a swollen foot fatigue I know that is a grocery list of problems I am willing to do what ever it takes to recover. You already gave some things to do. I just want to make sure I have covered all grounds. I thank you for your ministry and your passion to help Gods people. You are truly a blessing. Thankyou again neil In all due honesty, you need a consultation. You have a plethora of conditions and all of them have underlying causes which can be covered via consultation and directly. I'd have to write a 20-page article just to cover everything by written word and I just don't have the time to do this for individual persons (we're too busy here at Dherbs answering hundreds of inquiries per day).

    A:

    For kidney disease: KIDNEYS AND BLADDER, ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD, and ACID BUSTER For High Phosphorus: ACID BUSTER, ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD For Sleep Apnea: NERVES FORMULA, NERVES TEA, DREAM-AID INSPIRANT (all before bedtime) For Enlarged Prostate: PROSTATE FORMULA , MALE HORMONAL FORMULA, MALE HEALTH TEA, TOTAL MALE CLEANSE For Chest Pains: CARDIO-VASCULAR FORMULA, CIRCUL-AID FORMULA, CEREBRAL-VASCULAR FORMULA. For Poor Circulation: CARDIO-VASCULAR FORMULA, VEINS FORMULA, CIRCUL-AID FORMULA For Constipation: BOWEL MOVER, SEN FEN FORMULA, COLON FORMULA, BOWEL MOVER TEA For Insomnia: NERVES FORMULA, NERVES TEA, DREAM-AID INSPIRANT For Fatigue: BRAIN TUNER, ENERGIZER FORMULA, RAINFOREST TONIC, BRAIN TUNER TEA, ENERGY TEA For Swollen Foot: ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD, ACID BUSTER I have many questions for you, I need to know some things about you in order to get to the root of all your problems which are many. Your condition is serious. You are suffering from many things robbing you of a quality life. Consider the consultation, and if not, purchase and take the formulas recommended above.

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Q: Happy New Year to You and yours!!! My son is three years old; he was born December 12, 2004, this was a Sunday. Ever since he started talking he's had a fascination with the light and light bulbs. He looks up and says "mom look, the light is beautiful" or "mom see the beautiful light bulb". I look at it and I usually say yes it is beautiful Jordan. However, I do not see what he sees nor do I understand the attraction. When he was two weeks old I took him with me to Olive May and the old wise woman there saw him and asked me to bring him to her. When she looked at him she said "he is indigo--he is like sunshine when he enters a room and people will be drawn to him." So far the part about people being drawn to him has manifest true. What do you think of the attraction/fascination to the lights? Also, I read that awesome article on birthmarks!! I don't have one, however, my son has one on his buttock; I don't remember which one at the moment. His primary pediatrician called it a mongolian spot..what do you say?? Does it mean he will fall and hurt himself or has fallen?? Looking forward to seeing you in March. Love, Peace and Blessings.

    A:

    You son is most definitely an INDIGO CHILD (specifically a CRYSTAL or RAINBOW CHILD manifesting all 7 spectrums of color of the Rainbow). His preoccupation with lights could denote many things. For one, he is Light himself (light-worker). It could be that he still remembers the Light before re-incarnating this time around. We all eventually move into the Light in order to move on. Mongolian spot? A very negative term! Buttocks denote an injury that occured on that area in a past life. Birthmarks don't mean something adverse will happen to you in this lifetime where your birthmark is. It doesn't mean this at all. Just be open to experience and learn from and with your child. Live in the moment and just be open!

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    Q: I have had recurrent ankle trauma (refrigerated grate fell on it, then a computer and then ankle twist). I have problems with the Achilles not feeling normal and the area outside my knee on the same leg feeling abnormal. I had an MRI two weeks ago and they think it is in my mind. However my ankle and leg says otherwise. It is better however I am athletic and want to resume tennis and golf soon. Your comments welcomed! Thanks the previous email was for a friend I will share. Over the past six months I recommended the FULL BODY DETOX to several people. I feel as though I am the East & South coast as well as Europe "Marketing Director for Dherbs.com". I tell everyone that will listen and even those in denial. So how can I get benefits from my referrals and STOCK? I am leaving for Egypt with hopes my journey will shower all those associated with me with favor

    A:

    ARE YOU CAPRICORN, AQUARIUS, OR PISCES? THESE SIGNS USUALLY HAVE AILMENTS SUCHAS WHAT YOU DESCRIBE. CAPRICORN GOVERNS THE LEGS (AND KNEES), AQUARIUS GOVERNS THE ANKLES AND PISCES THE FEET. YOU ARE ATTRACTING THESE INJURIES VIA THOUGHT. A MESSAGE IS BEING CONVEYED, PERHAPS ABOUT THE DIRECTION OF YOUR LIFE. IT WOULD TAKE A FULL CONSULTATION TO GET TO THE ROOT OF THE PROBLEM. GIVE THE BODY PARTS NUTRITION IN THE FORM OF MSM SULFUR, JOINTS FORMULA AND HEADACHE AND PAIN FORMULA. WE GIVE 15% DISCOUNTS FOR WRITTEN TESTIMONIES. WE REALLY HAVE NO WAY TO TRACK REFERRALS, SO WE RELY UPON TESTIMONIALS TO REWARD PEOPLE FOR ALL THEY DO FOR DHERBS.COM. QUESTION, HOW DID YOU DISCOVER DHERBS.COM?

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    Q: Hello, I have recently become more sensitive to my body and I am trying to make better health choices. Thanks to your newsletter I've now stopped drinking coffee and switched to Yerba Matte. I have to say I do enjoy it very much. Only now am I going thru the withdrawals of caffeine. I first wanted to say thank you for that. My question is what herbs can I take that will help my memory both short term and long terms. My inability to recall something that happened, something I said, or even what I ate is becoming very frustrating. Also I am experiencing beginning symptoms of a kidney infection. Is the something I can take to help cleanse my body or help eliminate toxins that cause kidney infections? Please help with your suggestions. Thanks

    A:

    To improve memory I would suggest BRAIN TUNER Formula and BRAIN TUNER TEA consumed daily. For your kidney situation, consider performing the Full Body Detox Cleanse! Glad to hear of your like of herbal tea over coffee. Glad the newsletter is serving beneficial to you.

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    Q: Dear Sir, I was told that you were going to be sending me an email about my situation. I've wrote you a few times giving you bits and pieces of information it seems. I was asking one of your representatives about surgery and from the information I gave him he seems to think that I didn't give you all the information that I should have. Well about 13 years ago a lump formed in my breast after my 4th child was born. For years it's just been there. In 2005, after a mammogram they found calcifications in my breast. They did a biopsy and it came back fine. Six months later they decided that they wanted to remove the lump and when they did they found a small tumor. Since then I've taken herbs and God completely healed me. Well after another six months the lump came back but I didn't want any more surgery so I looked up poultice in my "Back to Eden" book and found a poultice that I used. I mixed flax seed meal, yellow corn meal, and funnelgreek tea together and left the poultice on my breast overnight for three nights. My breast began to get sensitive so I stopped using it. About a week later I noticed that the ducted around my nipple was indented, soon after that my nipple itself went inward, then after that I noticed what I thought was another lump in my breast but over a short period of time the lump extended from my armpit to my nipple. Now that whole area is hard and red. I got an ultrasound done and it revealed that I have swelling and cystic form in my breast. They want to do a biopsy but I am against it from what happened last time. Now I have pain in my arm also and at night I can barely sleep. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do except maybe go ahead and let me cut my breast. I have started your Detox program and I know it's working on my body but I don't want if it's doing anything for my swollen tissue inside my breast. I have lost my concentration because I'm constantly reminded about my breast because of the pain. I am a full time student but I'm thinking about dropping out of my classes until this issue is resolved because I can't focus on anything but the pain right now. I went a different doctor on 10/27/08 and they did a cvc (whatever that is) looking for an infection inside my body. The test came back normal, but my scheduled ultrasound is not for another week and I've told them that I'm in pain and need something done now. But they said that's the first available time.

    A:

    It appears the pain is just too unbearable for you and as such you may have to give in to the surgery in order to get immediate but short term relief. I had a friend who experienced what you experienced and the pain was so unbearable she couldn't sleep. I felt for her and I feel for you. I think you must do what is necessary for elimination or reduction of pain first and foremost. The FULL BODY DETOX (FBD) is helping your swollen tissues, but it seems you mind is so distracted that you are in doubt mode and doubt is the subconscious will to fail. If you know you can't do what you need to do (naturally) to deal with this situation, do what you must for present day relief. You have free will here, Beloved! Please use FEMALE BREAST OIL and Drink FEMALE HEALTH TEA during your FBD.