7 Habits Of Considerate People

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“Being considerate of others will take you and your children further in life than any college or professional degree.” – Marian Wright Edelman

Edelman, a renowned American activist, not only dedicated her life to fighting for the rights of disadvantaged children, but also served as a strong advocate for acting with consideration toward others. Being considerate, one of the roots of pure kindness, comes in many shapes in sizes. And whether you offer compliments solely for the emotional well-being of others or share what you have without expecting anything in return, it is a sense of civility that drives you to act considerately.

Abdulla M. Abdulhalim, a University of Maryland Ph.D. candidate in pharmaceutical health services research, served as a President’s Fellow in 2012. Alongside six others selected for the program, he examined the issue of civility, being considerate, why the two are important and how the university could help address them for society as a whole.

“We like simple definitions,” Abdulhalim told The Huffington Post. “Civility really is a more broad term compared to being considerate. Civility is simply just being nice, and it’s not only an attitude of benevolence, thoughtfulness and relating to other individuals. It also entails a real, active interest in the well-being of communities and even concern for the health of the planet. You have to really do an effort in order to be civil. And being considerate is a part of being civil.”

Taking a passive approach to behaving with consideration toward others can stem from our subconscious nature rather than intentional actions. However, that doesn’t mean we all can’t put a little effort toward being more considerate of those and the world around us. Here are seven habits that set considerate — and civil — people apart from the rest.

They practice empathy.

“Always be kind, for everyone is fighting a hard battle.” – Plato

It’s one thing to harbor a sense of empathy and another to put it into action. Considerate people are not only capable of figuratively putting themselves in other people’s shoes, they also actively choose to view the world beyond themselves. Their sense of compassion for others drives them to connect, and they derive personal joy and satisfaction from this selfless exchange.

“I think when someone is not acting this way, just the behavior itself seems really selfish,” said Abdulhalim. “No one will ever understand the perspective of another unless they take that person’s hand and consider things how they see it.”

They smile often.

Believe it or not, choosing to smile makes a significant impact on how others perceive you and your presence, not to mention your own mood. According to Abdulhalim, the body uses 42 different small muscles to smile, whereas a frown is the easy default. Make the effort to smile for the positive impact it has on others around you.

Abdulhalim suggests creating a reminder for yourself in developing this habit. “In the entrance of my building here, for example, there’s a big banner that says, ‘Civility, power,’ and different phrases that remind me that I need to smile at the face of a stranger, or maybe open the door for someone whom I don’t know, or maybe let them in the elevator first,” he said. “I think it is also very helpful to practice with yourself. If someone looks at themselves in the mirror and they frown or they smile, it’s a huge difference. You’ll realize how you look differently. People just don’t know how they look when they frown or when they give a nice smile.”

They are intuitive of other people’s needs.

As you channel your sense of empathy and consider how others around you are feeling, choose to act on that information. You never know, simply asking someone how they’re doing — regardless of its impact on your life — can do wonders for their mood and self-esteem.

“When you get into the elevator and you have 10 seconds to make a good impression or just remain quiet and look at your cell phone, I think if you ask, ‘How is your day?’ just to be nice, that’s being considerate,” said Abdulhalim. “Let’s face it: Do you really want to know how that person’s day is going? Is it something that would add to or change your life? Especially if that person is a stranger. From the face of it, you really don’t want to know. You just ask the question because you want to make the person in front of you feel like they’re valued. And that’s the point of being considerate in this situation — it’s not the content of the answer, it’s the intention.”

They mind their manners.

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – etiquette expert Emily Post

Being polite doesn’t begin and end with saying please, thank you, and you’re welcome. It involves a comprehensive acknowledgement of another person’s feelings and behaving accordingly. Follow the golden rule and treat others like you want to be treated — from being punctual (respecting others’ time) to not talking over others (exercising self-control) to actively listening to what others have to say.

“You can’t be considerate if you’re not really listening,” said Abdulhalim. “You have to really pay attention and grasp information, and even repeat it within yourself, to then provide feedback based on actual logic. Listen, process, and then act by logic, and pass that logic through empathy rather than blurting it out. Then the answer should come up with logic but in a considerate way.”

They put others first… sometimes.

“He who doesn’t consider himself is seldom considerate of others.” – David Seabury

Selflessness can be a double-edged sword for considerate people. While prioritizing others’ needs over our own makes people happy and creates a sense of fulfillment for us, we often lose our ability to take care of ourselves first when necessary and say “no.” However, striking that balance is just as important as being considerate in the first place — otherwise, we fall into the realm of people-pleasing, which leads to a decrease in our own productivity, according to Abdulhalim.

“It’s hard, he said. “But practicing the ‘no’ in smaller situations will help you say ‘no’ in more crucial situations. Practice is very important. The sweet spot is to know when to be considerate of others and when to be considerate of yourself.”

They are patient — even when they don’t feel like it.

Patience is far from a passive characteristic. It can be difficult to come by — especially when we feel stressed, overwhelmed, and surrounded everywhere by impatience. However, that’s all the more reason to find a sense of motivation and work on it.

“Many people I’ve met who are very nice and considerate would actually say, ‘Why should I be considerate when 95 percent of the time I finish last?’” said Abdulhalim. “And I agree with that logic, but you never lose if you are considerate. It depends really on how you look at it. Let’s say you’re civil to someone and they don’t reciprocate. Why don’t you use this as a motive for you to set a better example of how civility is really important for everyone? That goes back to being a positive influence. If you have this positive influence, then you have the motivation to be better and to influence others in a positive way.”

They apologize — but only when warranted.

Some people say “sorry” incessantly for fear of offending others with any and every move they make. Others forgo apologies altogether, coming across as quite rude and insensitive. Similar to the people-pleasing tendencies of kind and considerate people, apologies must find a sense of equilibrium.

“Sorry is a big word,” said Abdulhalim. “It means that you’re regretting an action you did. Being considerate means apologizing when you made a mistake and apologizing when you think you’ve made a mistake. But when you’re a people pleaser or overly apologetic, the only person you’re harming is yourself. People pleasers are usually less productive because they may not be available but make time anyway to help another person. Then that person knows they’re always available for them and they keep coming to you.”

By: Alena Hall
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

2014-08-28T11:21:25+00:00

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

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    Q: I know your probably busy helping all these lost people out there, so I'm not going to take a lot of time. Could you please refer me to a good Raw food diet book? I've been vegan for a while and trying to make another transformation towards my Original Diet.

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    Please purchase our "ALTERNATIVE HEALTH DIRECTORY" e-book which lists a plethora of vegan and raw foods resources (books, magazines, lists, etc.). It's just what you're looking for.

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    Q: Hi, I?m 26 years old male. I got genital herpes this summer 2007, the first outbreak was pretty itchy and painful a little, and now I got another small one. I have been reading your article and the power of mind and have been staying as positive as I can and also putting some aloe vera from the original leaf on the outbreak, and it is going away much quicker than the initial outbreak. However I am certain that I can completely get this so called incurable virus out of my system because it doesn?t make any sense to me that it would just lay there forever. Can you further guide me? I have ordered your Full Body Detox and the Anti Viral kit. You are really making a big impact on my life in a positive way and I am grateful to have found you. Just wanted to let you know that the thing I want to do the most is to become the best possible tennis player I can be.

    A:

    We are glad to hear of the impact we are having on you. We give thanks to you for sharing! We are here for you. You can ask your health inquiries free of charge via "Ask the Herbalist"

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    Q: I read your article on " Aids/Hiv". You stated Aids is a hoax and was created to promote Azt. If so what are people experiencing when they speak of symptoms pertaining to aids? What makes people test positive for H.I.V? I look forward to an answer. My brother, Thank you!

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    The symptoms are from a weakened immune system, from pharmaceutical drug consumption. Symptoms are associations from other problems, and other problems are caused by other things: poor diet, insalubrious lifestyle, etc.

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    Q: Hello, I've always heard that people can't "Spot loose" when it comes to weight, however, I've done it but don't really know what it was that cause the "spot weight" lose. My question and dilemma is: I tend to gain weight in my breast area and mid section but no where else. I am apple shaped. I know it isn't good for the heart and I want to loose mostly my breast. What would you recommend eating or not and what type of exercise would you recommend. Thank you!

    A:

    Spot losing is a myth or sorts. I'm not saying it can't happen but it's highly unlikely and completely uncontrollable. Your body picks and chooses where it gains/loses weight and they are not always in the same spots. Some people gain weight proportionately and some gain it in certain spots (hips, thighs, breasts, belly). I do get asked this question a lot from women "How do I lose weight in my gut or hip area but not in my breast?". The truth is that there is no real answer for that.  Your own spot loss was probably just luckiness and apararently exactly where you needed it to.

    As far as eating is concerned nothing causes the body to fat more than these two things. One is a high nutrient density, high alkaline, high raw, low fat, vegan diet. The other is juice fasting. Both are extremely helpful.

    Foods know and studied to cause weight loss are beans, greens, cinnamon, cayenne pepper, raw apple cider vinegar, oatmeal, and fruits and veggies. Noe of which have been conclusive in causing the body to lose fat in certain spots of the body.

    I run a highly successful health, nutrition, and fitness coaching company. I have coached many people to a vast number of health goals. Weight loss is one of my specialties. My 6 month program is designed to give people all the tools they need to reach their goals. My six month program includes lessons on weight loss, juice fasting, alkalinity, meal planning and meal timing, and also comes with a 90 day fitness plan. To see if my program is right for you fill out this health form found here (http://the-vegan-effect.healthcoach.integrativenutrition.com/forms) and claim your free first consultation.

    The best and most efficient exercises for weight loss are cardio exercises. That is however only part of the equation. Learning how to interval train is your most efficient way to burn fat. You may burn more fat at 60 percent of your maximum heart rate but if you interval train where you change your intensity and heart rate you burn more calories in less time and more fat. Also with low intensity cardio the burn effect ends when you end your training as where interval training keeps your metabolism stoked for hours after training maximizing your burn.

    Here is an example of interval training

    4:30 seconds warm up (moderate speed)

    30 seconds sprint

    4:30 seconds recovery (moderate speed)

    30 seconds sprint

    4:30 seconds recovery (moderate speed)

    Continue intervals for anywhere from 20-30 minutes

    The second best way is to do high rep, low - moderate weight exercises. Circuit training where you go from one exercise to another with as little as 30 seconds rest in between sets.

    Here is an example:

    Jumping jacks 1 minute

    Crunches 1 minute

    Pushups 1 minute

    Squats 1 minute

    3 sets of 12 alternating lunge to shoulder press

    3 sets chest press x 12

    3 sets of bent over rows x 12

    3 sets of bicep curls

    3 sets of triceps extensions

    1 minute of jump squats

    1 minute of Lunge and press

    You want to focus more on exercises that move more than one muscle. Focus on compound exercises (squats, pushups/chest press, pull-up/lat pull downs). Also focus on exercises that make you move like jumping jacks, mountain climbers, and burpees.

    Hope this helps,

    Gary Gibson HHC CPT

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    Q: I think it is interesting that you spend a lot of time pushing your personal opinions and share limited advice. What do you understand about integrity and professionalism? Or even respect for others? I do not see it. If people are looking to you for help why do you spit on their problems? I was researching your site to help a client resolve their addiction to smoking. I have to say I was sadly disappointed to read your article. It is not helpful nor is it informative. In fact it enforces shame and negativity on those who seek help and positive life changes. I would hope you could restructure your article to benefit all. It would be beneficial to check out higher consciousness sites on herbal healing. I wish for you in this moment to find peace and resolve your anger and prejudice that is so apparent in your articles. Love, light and peace.

    A:

    YOUR perception is not MY reality, Love. I am doing me and you do you. Tell you what: you do what I am failing to do or what you feel I am failing to do. This would be more appropriate. Pick up the ball where you deem it dropped. Talk is cheap and actions speak. I have done the actions and am doing them (read the reviews and testimonies on Dherbs.com). It speaks for itself. My new smoking article will reflect where I am presently, but it will still blast the ignorant cigarette smokers. One can't just blame government and the cigarette industry for the actions of the dumb cigarette smoker. Dumb and weak Americans must also foot partial blame, actually most of it, because they had a choice and there was no gun to their head forcing them to smoke. These people were simply weak and stupid and not to mention unconscious. Period! It doesn't sound nice but it's factual and truthful. I don't sugar coat the truth because sugar is a poison! The first article was written 6-7 years ago and that's why it's so brief. Thank you for visiting the #1 website in all-natural herbal products and raw uncompromising information that people all across the world are eating up and just can't get enough of.

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Q: I have been trying to get pregnant for the last couple of months with no luck. I was diagnosed with endometriosis 12 years ago and I have an 11 year old son. I got married six months ago and I want to have 2 more children. After reading the information on your website, how many success stories of people who were cured of endo... and how many people became pregnant after using your product? What would you recommend?

    A:

    We recommend you first perform our Full Body Cleanse.

    After this, perform the Female Cleanse.

    Lastly, perform the Fertility Kit and Regimen.

     

    Each of these cleanses can address specific needs within your body to help heal your body from adverse conditions.

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

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    Q: I am writing you with concern for my father. He is 54 years old, and was just diagnosed with an enlarged heart. He is very worried, and to be honest I am too. I told him that he immediately needs to go on the Full Body Detox. Start a raw foods diet that includes no meats, and no dairy. Do you think he should get a colonic? Should he get it first? He began running this morning, and has been walking in the evenings. He has a HUGE stomach. It looks as if he is about 8 months pregnant. SOLID! We live in the Philadelphia Area and we are Muslim. The only person we know that is GOOD as far as colonics is a female, and he has some reservations about that. My mother always says "Do what you gotta do". What steps should he take to heal his body? In what order? I know it may be kind of hard to diagnose, or give steps to a third person. I am really concerned, and afraid that his concern may cause more damage to his heart. I am almost certain that my father would not mind talking to you. He may be impressed with your knowledge. All the herbalist we know thus far have been women. As soon as he told us of his illness I immediately thought of you. I pray that you can help us. We all as a family need to get our health together. PLEASE HELP US the best way you can. . . . .

    A:

    It's the easiest thing to take care of. Detox the body with the Full Body Detox followed by the 10-Day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse. He will drink Hearty Heart tea during both cleanses. The man has eaten himself into this condition via poor diet so reversed diet is the way out. More raw foods (fruits and vegetable), vegetable juice.

    Product Links:
    Full Body Detox
    10-Day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse
    Hearty Heart Tea

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    Q: Hey wassup Dherbs.com, I got a question about when people try to say they clean the meat with vinegar and citruses before they cook it. What does "cleaning" the meat have to do with the pesticides, worms, and other harmful things added to the meat? I read from your articles that the worms have a shell that forms in very high temperatures so it doesn't kill them.

    A:

    You can't clean meat, Beloved. Period! Folks are doing something just to be doing something! All meat is corrupted and toxic! Period!