7 Things Resilient Couples Do Differently

0-823436273-fotolia-19222094-subscription-monthly-m

My husband and I recently celebrated our 10-year anniversary, and it has caused me to reflect on the twelve years that we have known each other. As a teacher of resilience, defined as the ability to bounce back and grow and thrive during challenge, change and stress, I wanted to examine the traits that helped couples remain resilient. I looked at those relationships that worked, didn’t work, and the research to compile these seven hallmarks of resilience in relationships:

1. CARE rather than confront during tough conversations.
Resilient couples know how to communicate assertively — that is, in a clear, confident and controlled manner. While that’s easier said than done, particularly with tough conversations, here’s a model to help:

C — Communicate the facts.
A — Address your concerns in an objective way
R — Reach out and ask the other person for his/her perspective
E — Evaluate outcomes

Most importantly, do your homework before you even have the conversation. Ask yourself whether you have an accurate understanding of the problem. I’m always embarrassed when I have a conversation with someone only to realize I never really fully understood the issue. (1)

2. Find your “I want” power.
Relationships can take a little (and some days, a lot of) self-discipline. Stanford health psychologist, Dr. Kelly McGonigal, coined the phrase “I want” power, and it’s an important component of self-control. (2) “I want” power is the ability to find your motivation when it really matters — that important long-term goal that you want to focus your time and energy on. What are you working toward as a couple? Whatever it is, you need to be able to tap into this “I want” power when your willpower reserves are running low.

3. Connect during daily transition points.
I don’t know about you, but my mornings tend to be busy getting ready for the day, and then when I get home from work, I’m exhausted and focused on starting dinner and other tasks. Resilient couples acknowledge each other at distinct transition points during the day: waking up, leaving for the day, coming back together at the end of the day and going to sleep. The acknowledgement can be as simple as a kiss, hug, smile or touch.

4. Help each other relive good news.
Human beings are hard-wired to notice and remember negative news and events. That’s why you stand at the ready when your partner says, “Hey, I have a problem!” But what do you do when your partner says, “I’ve got great news?” How you respond to the good news is as important for the health of your relationship as how you respond to bad news according to psychologist, Dr. Shelly Gable. Killing the conversation by offering a short acknowledgement (“Hey, that’s great”) or hijacking the conversation by making it about you (“I’m training for that marathon, too!”) are quick ways to weaken a relationship.

5. Reframe your thinking during tough times.
When a relationship hits a rough patch, it can be easy to think pessimistically. Thinking optimistically isn’t about rainbows and unicorns, rather, it’s about being realistic. Optimistic thinkers are able to identify solutions that haven’t yet been tried (instead of trying the same thing over and over again that isn’t working). In addition, optimistic thinkers zero in on what they can control, influence or leverage. One question I always ask myself during tough times is, “Will I still be dealing with this problem in the next month or year?” Odds are, the answer is no, and that gives me a little perspective.

6. Have hope.
When my ex-fiancé and I broke up years ago, three months before our wedding date, I was devastated. It was one of the times in my life where I felt truly lost and without hope. Whether you’re dealing with a sick child, contemplating a divorce or break-up, or wondering how you’re going to pay the bills, resilient couples have hope.

The three elements of hope include having goals (identifying pathways); feeling empowered to shape your daily life (remember to zero in on where you have control, influence and leverage); and identifying multiple avenues toward making your goals happen. Hope has been shown to be a strong predictor of satisfaction, even being called a symptom of happiness. (3)

7. Practice empathy.
The ability to understand another person’s experiences and emotions is a powerful relationship tool. In addition to promoting forgiveness, empathy is also a hallmark of resilience. Empathetic people tend to be less selfish, having a genuine interest in the well-being of others. (4)

One of my favorite quotes is, “One of the hardest parts of life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.” There are many reasons to both stay in, and leave, a relationship. Choosing to stay requires resilience, and hopefully one of these seven strategies makes a difference in your relationship.

By: Paula Davis-Laack
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

2014-03-17T11:12:20+00:00

Related Questions

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I know you are an herbalist and I have read your articles on relationships, but I really need to discuss an issue with a conscious person like yourself. I have a friend who is a conscious brother, he made it known that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, claims he's to busy, but he is into having a spiritual sexual relationship(releasing energy he says on a spiritual level). My thought is that in order to connect with someone totally on a sexual level they should be a unit to experience this sacred sexual experience he refers to, otherwise to me it seems a very clever why to have sex without the commitment of being in a relationship. I would really appreciate your thoughts.

    A:

    Dudes can be so clever! He sounds like a Taurus! LOL!

    He's using spirituality to justify having sex with you. There's no spirituality with a casual sex partner. This practice is deep and creates serious energetic connections via the chakras. There's no connection without being a unit and having a commitment. My motto is: no sex absent love and commitment (unless both parties agree)! Hope this helps you out!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Thank you so much for doing all that you do. I wish that you were in my everyday life...If I ever come to Cali, I hope to be able to take you up on some of your services. I have given your site out to many people that cross my paths...most recently, a man with diabetes who is going blind. He seemed to be quite thankful for your info...I do hope that he contacts you...and my friend who perhaps has a problem with a parasite(s). But me....okay just waiting for tax refund and then I will hit you up for another full-body detox...and perhaps a parasite kit myself...as it is sad but true..with my current boyfriend careless but kind...I now have a problem with genital herpes...a small breakout every other month...I eat well for the most part...ofcourse it could be better. But the stress is hish...I am working on that. But my question is...would an air purifier do me any good? You see I live in Dundalk, Maryland...near baltimore...near a Steel plant, and a yeast plant, and close to the military practice bombing sites, and other military negative stuff, and the city polluted with car pollution, tons of light pollution, and they spray for mosquitos...then I go to work and I work at a place called ABC Supply...great place right, well the stress is high, and the building we work in is shot...I swear there is mold under the carpets in one of the rooms...the ceiling is constantly leaking and we don't know what from...and the fumes from forklifts and the asphalt from the shingles...the filterfrom the intake gets changed like once a year...but is filled with 'shit' probably in a day or week. So the answer is to get a new job and move...yeah I know...I just don’t know how to do it...or where to go. Since I moved here, I have a problem with my ears...filling up with water or histimine or whatever...usually if I don't drink enough water near my menstrual cycle...I went to a doctor once and basically walked out of the office telling him what to do for his cold...yasee..he was no help...I knew more than him already....these past two years have been bad for allergies. Now, my ears and my throat...my nose too...though I do clean it out with water and that helps. I am not the only one. In the past two years there is a great number of people who say the same thing...they have never had a problem with allergies until these past two years. My grandmother and next door neighbor are two..but many more...well they just started up that steel mill again probably about that time...they sprayed hard core for mosquitos right before my grandmother started having problems...global warming for one...and i dont' know..but two years ago I was involved with a group of people sending out petitions against an LNG liquid natural gas plant that would bring in a ship two times the size of a football field and a huge pipe line to pennsylvania, and a skyscraper of a building to store the gas. Well...we fought against it...but apparently the gas company has more say than our own local government...I don't know...but hear about it every once in a while that they are still trying to get it built. So, an air purifier?? what do you think? Much Love and Health and Thanks!! Peace, RESPONSE: Thank you so very much for your words, Beloved. Much obliged from the heart!

    A:

    In regards to your question: Oh yes! By all means purchase an air purifier or an ozone machine (which will actually be best or better for you). Make sure you detox (FULL BODY DETOX) periodically, consume ACTIVATED CHARCOAL, and take plenty of IODINE PHOSPHATE as sea weed is great for neutralizing the effects of radiation.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I recently received bad news that my grandmother has cancer in several areas of her body. I am having a really hard time staying positive and generally dealing with it since I live so far from my family. Being a military family will do that I guess. Anyway since I heard the news I have broken out with 2 sores on my vagina (from ingrown hairs) and it also burns when I urinate and I have even developed cuts around my anus and on my clitoris hood. I have no clue if it's a Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) or what. It even hurts when I am just lying in bed. I am starting a lemonade detox today and was hoping for any suggestions that you may have. I have not eaten meat in about two or three months. However I am still addicted to sugar. I hope all my information helps you in helping me discover a cause and solution to my issue.

    A:

    It appears your problem is psycho-somatic in nature. What kind of cancer does your grandmother have? Is it a female reproductive type cancer?

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I was most impressed by your website. The information to support your products and your obvious interest in informing the public caught and kept my attention. As I searched further into Black Seed Tea, the reason for my visit, I noticed your product ALCOHOL BUSTER. The comment of "on the metaphysical level, alcohol consumption also impairs the human aura" although very non clinical, is very much my way of thinking, it got my attention. I read as far as the disclaimer, "the formula does not have the power to prevent consumption of alcohol as only will power and a made up mind can do this." Here's where I step out of character and find myself writing this e-mail. It has been my experience while working with people from all walks of life, who are members of any 12 step program, that a reference to will power as a prevention of anything is a two edged sword. While I agree will power is important in abstention, I believe the person is benefited by using their personal will power to seek help, to commit to recovery, to take care of the physical, mental and emotional bodies. I don't believe "human" will power is the power that prevents consumption. The suggestion that "will power and a made up mind can prevent consumption of alcohol" to a person with an addiction could become a deadly idea. This of course is my opinion, do with it what you feel is appropriate.

    A:

    I feel you in where you're coming from, but I truly believe and know human willpower plays a role in prevention and healing of all disease. The strongest thing humans have is a will. Will meshes with desire in many cases. Both are strong in humans. Now, you're dealing with a person with addiction in regards to your last statement and I can totally understand where you are coming from but the sick person is not exempt from any laws of healing. There is no real or true healing absent willpower to do a thing, a beneficial thing. The addicted person must be first dealt with on the physical and psychological levels and then the spiritual and energetic (getting to the root of the addiction: perhaps a 2nd chakra problem or something hanging over from a past life). All addiction points to spiritual void and therefore the only ultimate healing here is mental or spiritual via mental. As you know, it's mind-body-spirit and all must be dealt with for healing. Will is important in abstention but we don't won't people to focus on abstaining which is usually converted into "can't have" by the addicted person. We want people to only focus on the good, the healthy, what they need and require, not what they don't want or can't have because their subconscious mind will create the situations and circumstances by which these people end up consuming the thing that is insalubrious for them. It never fails. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and plenty of other alcoholics. We want people to have and use willpower to GO FOR the best things for them, will in DOING the right and healthy things for themselves. All healing is ultimately within self. As a man thicket so is he! Peace be unto you fellow metaphysician!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I hope all is well! I am writing this note to request a consultation with Djehuti . I can only imagine how busy you are, so I will be brief. But, feel free to let me know if you'd like more detailed information. I am contacting you regarding seeking treatment for severe clinical Depression. In addition I suffer from a severe lack of energy. I'd also like to treat several nutritional deficiencies. I am 35 years old. I have been suffering from Clinical Depression since I was about 16 years old. I began to address my Depression only about 3-4 years ago. Since that time I have struggled off and on with counseling with a Social Worker, psychotherapy with a Psychiatrist, group therapy with a Psychologist, several medications, outpatient hospitalization, CBT therapy, and natural and alternative treatments such as herbs, minerals, vitamins, yoga, exercise, meditation, fasting, and cleansing. But nothing has had any long term benefits. My Depression has become increasingly more severe. Over the past 1.5 years, my Depression has been at its worse. About a year ago, I lost my job due to the Depression. I then went into a major depressive episode that has lasted well over a year. I'd like to ask you for some direction in treating my Depression, lack of energy, etc. If you have some time, I'd love to do a consultation with you. Any help that you can offer will be greatly appreciated. I am interested in doing an intense 3-month fast and detox cleanse. I would really like to do a cleanse and detoxification to completely heal my body and get rid of the toxins, impurities, mucus, etc. Thanks for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you.

    A:

    Have you schedule a consultation yet? Drugs won't help you. The root cause is emotional and spiritual. Dherbs.com can help you! I'll have an article up on depression by December 1, 2008. Stay tuned to Dherbs.com!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I am a marathon runner, swimmer, and part time student. For my Entire Life since age 13 1/2, I?ve had either anorexia or bulimia, sometimes a bit of both. I am now 41. Yes, my teeth are hurting. Yes, I realize this is supposedly not optimal health, but I suppose my life has been so stressful for such a long time, that my eating 'disorder'edness has just been the coping mechanism that has kept me sane. Thing is, I realize I want to live a long, healthy life, and I need help. My thought is that a cleanse of some sort of toxins might really help me. Would you have any herbs to offer I could do that with, say, in tea form? Or any other sage. I really seriously hope you respond because I need help.

    A:

    The Full Body Cleanse will greatly help your body to remove toxins.

    One of our teas you will want to drink daily is the Detox Tea, along with a number of other teas. Please check our online store for a full list.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I'm having a little hard time building a relationship with my lady's 6 year-old daughter. She's sweet, the only child (for now), and has her father in her life. I don't want to be her dad, but I do want her to respect me. I intend to marry this lady, and I will be the father figure in our house.

    A:

    Just focus on things you appreciate about the child. Stop judging her relationship with her mother. Find a perspective about her that feels good. Respect her, and give her space to warm up to you at her own pace. It will happen

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: The supplement that you have for herpes, it's really not a remedy to heal and kill the virus but control it correct? Please I believe that there is some remedy out there that will cure this disease that doctors claim there will never be a cure for. I have the HSV2 I believe in healing so I am hoping I have come to the right place as to a natural healing to take place. I am 26 and it has put a dent in my life as to being in a relationship, I was open and honest with a young man but he slowly drifted away once I broke the news. Please help me. I was willing to travel to see an herbalist but I heard of your sight on Gospel 95.3 and felt it was not a hoax but something real and works.

    A:

    Herpes can be healed if you understand the truth of healing that healing comes from the mind. Please read the following articles because healing starts with knowledge followed by belief: please read these ARTICLES: â€GENITAL HERPES (HSVII)â€, â€IS GENTIAL HERPES REALLY CURABLE?â€, â€HERPES OUTBREAK ON THE BUTTOCKSâ€, â€WOE IS ME I HAD A HERPES OUTBREAK!â€. We cover the mental aspects of healing in our new e-book MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL available next week via download.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hello, I enjoyed reading the information on your website. I have many questions, but my concern is that I am 43 year old African- American female, who would be classified as obese. Last year I had a miscarriage, which was devastating to me though we were not trying to get pregnant. I have a 16 year old healthy son. The doctor wanted me to have a hysterectomy because of my age and reported that I had non-cancerous fibroids. I chose not to as if I have the opportunity to get pregnant again, I would like to carry my baby to full term and deliver another healthy baby. My question is: which would you suggest I do first (as we know, time is a factor)? Should I do the full body detox and then the weight cleanse? I don't want to do the fertility program, but I'm not sure exactly why I lost my baby. I know stress played a major factor (I quit that high-stress job I was on) and after reading your website, realized that weight played a much larger role than I wanted to realize. I'm not trying to actively get pregnant, but because it remains a possibility, I would like to be as healthy as possible. My partner and I broke up shortly after the miscarriage, but have recently recommitted to a relationship again after almost a year apart. I am sorry for this long email, but your opinion would be greatly appreciated. Sincerely

    A:

    First perform the FULL BODY DETOXfirst followed by the WEIGHT RELEASE CLEANSE AND REGIMEN.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I am a 55 year old female. I have an overactive bladder. I am trying to control it myself, without medication. I have not tried herbs. I eat fruits, vegetables, grains and proteins (not beef or pork). I added back more meat proteins 1 1/2 years ago because I was becoming so tired and lacking energy. (I read The Schwartzbein Diet, which helped convince me to add more protein.) I don't eat much sugar, salt (only 500 mg./day) or hardly any processed foods. I drink water and licorice tea, because it makes me feel good. I believe in the power of positive thinking. Can you help me with this?

    A:

    The steps you are taking in your diet are a great start. Try going raw, and eliminating grains and meat altogether. You can get enough protein and healthy fats with avocado, pumpkin seeds, chia seeds, almonds, brazil nuts, coconut. You can also add Vegan Protein Powder to smoothies.

    I also recommend you give our Full Body Cleanse a try to further detoxify your entire body. After detoxing, the ideal formula for you is our Kidneys Bladder-Adrenal formula.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi, I just emailed you the other day. I hope I'm not getting on your nerves but you have so many products that it's hard to decide which to buy first. But you did suggest three programs for me already. I was reading some info you gave on Candida yeast infections and you mentioned to start with the 10 day supreme Candida cleanse for severe infection and since I do consider my problem severe because I've been dealing with it for 21 years and it has gotten worse, I was wondering if I could start with the 10 day Candida cleanse then do the full body detox then the total woman cleanse and finally the 10 day supreme colon cleanse. You are offering discounts on some of your products so I'll be able to start these programs right away. What do you think? I value you your opinion. Thanks for responding so quickly.

    A:

    Change your diet: go raw foods/vegan - no meats, no dairy products, no refined grains Perform FULL BODY DETOX (FBD). Afterwards perform the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE,

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have a Rottweiler going on 13 years old. He is in decent shape for his age, maybe a little over weight. He had cancer; two tumors removed twice, and haven’t had any problems in over a year. The problem is that his back legs are weak, he has trouble going up and down stairs (fell down a couple of times), is very slow to get up after laying down, and can not stand up on them for extended periods of time. Also he seems very fatigued. I have been very happy with all of the products I've bought from you so far, so wanted to know what pet formulas you would suggest and what I should expect from them.

    A:

    TRY THE JOINT FORMULA AND THE IMMUNE SUPPORT TO BOOST THE DOG'S IMMUNE SYSTEM. THIS CREATURE WENT THROUGH A LOT. WHEN DOGS GET SICK LIKE THIS IT'S BECAUSE THEY PICK UP THE SICKNESS AND DISEASE VIBRATION OF THE ENVIRONMENT. DOGS ARE VERY SENSITIVE CREATURES.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have been anemic since my cycle started age 11. In the year 2001 I had the first tranfusion and found out that I had fibroids. At that time they were small. It took three years later to find out that you can shrink them and disolve them from a book called healing fibroids a natural cure. I have always been a heavy bleeder but in 2004 the bleeding got worse where i had to leave work to go to the emergency room. I got IV fliud and was told this is my normal period. I never had to go to the hospital because of bleeding too much. Any way in 2001 I was on the pill and taking iron 3* a day 325ml. Got off the pill because of the weight gain and was still bleeding hard due to everyday stress. 2006 I had two more transfusions with in 5 months of each other. All the doctors want to do is cut me. I refuse. After the last transfusion, I decided to get iron through IV. What a dissaster. The hospital gave me too many things at once. I was fine when I got home but, at 11pm I could not sleep too well. I began having heart palpitations. Rushed to the ER in such pain, I was in pain to stand up, in pain to sit down. I had to pace the floor and sit down and get back up again several times. The intense pain did not stop until I stood bent over my mother's lap for 10 mins. It stopped at 4:30am. Well they kept me for four days. Every test and xray done on me and they found nothing wrong with my heart. Good. But what on earth caused the pain. I have not been able to work for the past 3 years. Every time my cycle starts I lose a lot of blood, I am weak, I can't walk like a normal person and my heart is always pounding hard at every little movement I make. I blacked out in the shower in 2007. I am currently taking cold pressed wheat germ oil to put oxygen in my blood and to stop the pain in my chest. I look worn, my skin from head to toe is covered in scars, and I have no finger nails and my hair is greying all over. I am 36 and I am literally half dead. Can any of your products help me get me up off the couch and walking like a normal person again.

    A:

    Beloved, I recommend that you first perform the FULL BODY DETOX. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the FIBRIOD BUSTER CLEANSE AND REGIME. After this kit I recommend that you perform the 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE followed by the WEIGHT RELEASE CLEANSE AND REGIMEN. While performing all these cleanses above, when drinking water make sure you add KHEMETIAN GOLD and OXY-DROPS to every glass of water you drink. In addition to performing these kits, please read our FREE articles and begin to properly educate yourself. There is healing from all that you suffer from!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My FBD kit should arrive next week. What will I need in addition to it to restore the vision in my right eye? I am a 58 years on the planet, and am Aquarian contemplating, in a relationship with a Socrpio. I have had 2 C sections, a tonsillectomy, a right breast biopsy (benign), and am now in relatively good health with the exception of head pain over the right eye, droopy eyelid, and subsequent loss of vision since eyeball is swollen and distended. What do you recommend?

    A:

    Eye issues are covered in the article "Eye Problems" in our articles section. Sounds like a good detoxing will do you some good too. Aquarius and Scorpio could be a good match, just make sure the Scorpio is not too dependent (whoever it is). Balance is the key! Modify your diet too to aid in good health and well-being.

    Article:
    Eye Problems

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi, I have been dealing with what I believe to be depression for years. I once was prescribed Zoloft and I took the meds for 1 month. I did not want to take drugs so I discontinued use. I have gone up and down in my career and love life. Now I just feel tired and feel I am steadily spiraling down. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what. I have gone to therapy several times and nothing last. I desire to have a full life and believe GOD wants us to live abundantly. I just seem to keep struggling, I will do well for a few weeks then out of nowhere I will start sabotaging things. Can you tell me what products I can use to gain my life back?

    A:

    You can get your life back, Ma'am! First, DETOX (FULL BODY DETOX). Read our free articles while Detoxing and make sure you order and read our MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL too which is very important in healing as it shows you how to work the mind to your benefit.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have been married 5 years and my husband and I are not seeing eye to eye after the birth of our two kids. It seems like he has drawn farther away from me. It could be stress or job related issues, but the fact remains that he does not communicate to me about anything important in his life. He just has a closed shell when it comes to telling me things. Also, he stop paying the the rent for a while now. I don't know if this has anything to do with me making more than him financially. How can I approach my husband, with out hurting his ego and get him to talk to me about anything? But, I must say we are not affectionate to each other only when it comes to be sexual. What can I do?

    A:

    Sometimes men feel like an outsider after children are born. It's because the wife has to give the children so much of her attention. He cant help feeling a little resentful or jealous. If you want him to open up. Give him some attention. Tell him you appreciate him often. Kiss him and love on him too. Men also shut down when they are not getting enough sex. Tell him when you feel sexual. Tell him you want him, and are attracted to him. This will help him to feel close to you again, and he will begin to share himself with you again. Treat him the way you want to be treated.

    Sending love and light.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I've been plagued by uterine fibroids. I've had 6 surgeries and they keep coming back I tried your detox and female detox plan, eating healthy. I thought I was doing well but they've come back. I want to try to have another child with my husband of 15 years. My doctor wants to do IVF. He says it's our only hope. I'm 39 he says time is running out. I believe there is another way. My doctor is insisting I'm wasting time & money trying to use alternative & herbal remedies. He says if there was a magical herb there would be no plants or trees left. I am ready to accept whatever fate is bestowed upon me but don't want to become homeless in the process. Your honest and professionalism is greatly needed. Sincerely.

    A:

    The choice is your and yours alone to make! Naturally, to heal will take some time, just as much time as it took to develop the fibroids via what you ate, thought, did, etc. You have to stay committed to any natural protocol, Beloved! Naturally healing takes time!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi, I have been suffering from a dull pain the testicular area for over 2 years now. I have seen 2 urologists that have confirmed that I have enterococcus bacteria in either the prostate of genital area based on semen culture. I have also done testicle ultrasound and CAT scan of the area with good results. One of the urologist said that I have an inflamed prostate (prostitis) there was some varicose veins when ultra sound was done but the urologist continues to give me long term antibiotics. Some my symptoms have been dull pain in the testicular area when I need to have a bowel movement. low energy, moody, memory loss, irritable, confused, brain fog etc. I use to have a health sex drive but now my sex drive is really low. A bit of erectile dysfunction but I think that comes more from having the pain all the time and anxiety. I don't know if this is possible but my penis seems to have reduced in size when erect. The doctor ask me to try some cialis for the ED which I did for a short while but decided I needed something natural because of the long term problems of using those medications. I have had long periods of stress from a bitter business relationship about 2 years ago. My concern is that every time I go to the urologist all they want to do it give me antibiotics and that doesn't seem to be working. I am concern of the other organ damage caused by taking long term antibiotics. Is there an alternative you recommend? I have been looking at your Anti- virus treatment. I am 30 years old.

    A:

    I would suggest you perform the FULL BODY DETOXfollowed by the TOTAL MALE CLEANSE. Read some of our free health articles too on male reproductive health. Healing begins with knowledge!