Almost everyone living on this planet wants to be right, because it’s the most important way the ego is satisfied. It doesn’t matter if other people are hurt, maimed or killed in the act of having to be right. Long live your ego!
If I were inclined to feel a little generous about the human race after years of being exposed to wars and the global killing field, I might give mankind a break and proffer that all this cruel and brutal behavior is a result of the worst inclinations of man’s collective unconscious. Yet many despicable atrocities seem to serve a purpose, and frankly I’m not in the mood to cut mankind a break. Most human destruction is caused by man’s obsessive need to have to be right.
Human kind knows no limits when it comes to having to being right. Nobody’s opinion or idea has any value or worth outside of your agenda. It’s an absurd premise. Having to be right is overrated and here’s why:
1. Needing to be right comes with a heavy price.
People who have to be right find themselves alone and isolated from groups of friends, colleagues or families. They hold on to their righteous ideology and opinions so tightly that no one can have a reasonable dialogue with them. A heavy shield descends over their exterior, which in turn reflects their inner need to never let go of the person they project to others. The need to be right becomes a crusade.
Even though they might suffer emotionally, physically and intellectually, they would never notice the negative effects or debilitating psychic downward spiral. However hard they push their ideological agenda, these people fail to realize that they are more than the thought they are projecting.
2. Needing to be right does not respect the individuality of others.
Every person is born with unique DNA. Every brain is wired differently. What you think comes from nurture and nature, just as what I think comes from different constructs. This suggests a need for mutual respect. But if someone can’t let go of having to be right, their mindsets become rigid and fixed in patterns that prevent openness to others.
3. Needing to be right destroys the possibility of entertaining alternatives.
The notion of “being right” conflates truth with fact. Whose truth? Whose fact? What if two different viewpoints each conform to the truth? Which is more right? Or is one person’s truth the other person’s fiction?
4. Needing to be right leads to self-destructive behavior.
It’s human nature to perceive people who have to be right as know-it-alls. This implacable attitude conjures up self-righteousness, pictures of loners, and people who are alienated from interaction in society. The general perception is they are not a team players or don’t work well with others. They are hard to get along with. They turn away connectedness and love.
5. Needing to be right cuts you off from possibilities and opportunities.
People who have to be right perpetuate their own isolation and cut themselves off from what the world has to offer because they are convinced they know best. Their rigid ideas and opinions keep them from evolving. They cannot and will not see a future. Life stands still. Worse, they are stuck in the past.
6. Needing to be right kills curiosity.
People who have to be right do not practice active listening. They don’t hear what’s going on in the environment. If they don’t listen, they never learn anything new. Curiosity dies slowly, and in the end nothing but validation will ever interest a person who has to be right. For a mind to develop, it needs to entertain alternative thoughts, ideas and desires. How do you learn if not through others?
7. Needing to be right is not worth the struggle.
It takes so much energy for people to have to be right. Sometimes it even takes weapons to keep their ideas alive and spreading. Those who take ideas to extremes with a single-minded purpose and never notice different shades of gray are the true losers in their fight to keep their beliefs alive
If people just didn’t have to be right, they might notice things differently and start to accept change as not only inevitable, but good. They might actually recognize they are feeling happier because they are more connected. They might accept new possibilities for a more meaningful and fulfilling life.
By: Joan Moran