A Spiritual Adviser On Why Most Relationships End

Back view of young couple embracing under the umbrella walking in an autumn rainy day. Love and couple relationships concept.

To be in relationship with others is an innate need for human beings. We are inevitably more content when our life features fulfilling relationships — friendships, romantic love, family.

In my work as a spiritual adviser, I encounter the same two types of people: people unable to find the ideal relationship, and people who do find that great, joyful relationship but can’t hold on to it. One of the most tortuous feelings related to love happens when you experience its depth only to see it make an abrupt exit. Thinking about “the one that got away” sucks, doesn’t it?

How many of you have experienced a breakup that destroyed your heart? I bet that destruction didn’t happen because you were too needy or desperate. There’s a good chance your relationship ended because you didn’t realize it was worth holding on to.

In my personal experience and through my work with a number of clients, I’ve come to this conclusion: Taking someone’s love for granted is the primary reason relationships end.

So, if you’re in an amazing relationship right now, pay attention.

Love is not all about receiving. True, authentic love is about giving. It involves surrendering yourself and supporting your partner to your fullest capacity. The below is adapted from my new book: Break the Norms: Questioning Everything You Know About God and Truth, Life and Death, Love and Sex.

“I want you.”

I need you.

I desire you.

We often confuse these statements with love. A wife often stays happy as long as she gets nice gifts, weekly dates, and all of the other relationship “perks.” The moment this stops, she may feel ignored or unloved. The husband is happy as long the wife satisfies his physical and emotional needs without any interruption.

This cycle tends to be functional because both people in a relationship are happy when they get their needs fulfilled. The problem occurs when one party stops or gets bored with the pattern. The moment this exchange of services stops, the so-called love also stops. Over time, the love between couples is reduced to the demands and desires they put on each other.

Squeezing happiness out of someone isn’t love. We do this to each other because we have yet to discover the infinite potential of love that resides within us. When you take a moment to acknowledge the love in you, you release the codependent, draining relationship pattern.

To find authentic love, you must give authentic love. This doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice everything and become a martyr to love — only that you must fill yourself with so much love that it has no choice but to overflow.

When you practice this phenomenon, you become love. You will no longer have to rely on your significant other for happiness. And when you’re full of love, you’ll begin to attract other love-filled human beings who vibrate on that frequency. You may also attract those who are in dire need of healing. When that happens, heal them. Help them find the love they’ve yet to discover.

To get started on this journey, begin to meditate on your heart center every morning. Acknowledge your emotions and give them a positive outlet every day. Don’t run away from your emotions. Instead, mindfully watch their development and denouement.

 

2016-03-07T14:05:15+00:00

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    Q: I truly Thank You and Love your website and love for God. Please recommend what I can purchase from you for consistent vaginal mucous discharge. Not foul, just chalky and annoying. I think I may have Candida because I have dry scalp as well. I tried Probiotics but didn't seem to work.

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    Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated! For vaginal mucous discharge, I recommend the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. However, it is best to perform the FULL BODY DETOX first then the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. After your cleanses, make sure you take YONI FORMULA daily. Read some of our free health articles too!

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    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

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    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

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    No difference at all, Beloved! Even the boiled water becomes room temperature water. You're doing fine! Thank you for your words as well! Much appreciated! Peace and Love!

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    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

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    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Thank you for your acknowledgment, Beloved! Much obliged! Metaphysics: Emotionally, the knees (knee pain) refelcts inflexibility in your perception of the future. It occurs more often in those with an arrogant or stubborn personality, who are unable to bend to new ideas or to the ideas of others. Physical: Knee pain denotes inflammation and should be treated immediately. I recommend Dherbs.Com HEADACHE AND PAIN FORMULA, JOINT FORMULA, ACID BUSTER, MSM SULFUR, and ENZYMES FORMULA. Rub a natural salve product on your knees too (or essential oil of Eucalyptus and Peppermint). Rub knees daily with these oils. Apply olive oil on the knees first before you rub in these 2 oils.

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    Yes, it will help, but in order to specifically address your needs, we recommend is the Female Cleanse.

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    Q: I know you are an herbalist and I have read your articles on relationships, but I really need to discuss an issue with a conscious person like yourself. I have a friend who is a conscious brother, he made it known that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, claims he's to busy, but he is into having a spiritual sexual relationship(releasing energy he says on a spiritual level). My thought is that in order to connect with someone totally on a sexual level they should be a unit to experience this sacred sexual experience he refers to, otherwise to me it seems a very clever why to have sex without the commitment of being in a relationship. I would really appreciate your thoughts.

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    Dudes can be so clever! He sounds like a Taurus! LOL!

    He's using spirituality to justify having sex with you. There's no spirituality with a casual sex partner. This practice is deep and creates serious energetic connections via the chakras. There's no connection without being a unit and having a commitment. My motto is: no sex absent love and commitment (unless both parties agree)! Hope this helps you out!

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    Q: My question to you, Is it beneficial for one to make SPIRITUAL LOVE with ones spouse while detoxing?

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    I engaged in pillow talk which is my norm. It had nothing to do with sex at all, spiritual or otherwise. Just intimate conversation. Whether the sex is meaningless or spiritual, it should not be engaged in while detoxing. But of course folks have free will to do as they please.

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    Q: First, I'd like to say that I love your product and if instructions are followed and lifestyle changes are made, your wonderful herbal products will greatly improve many lives. I am a witness to it and I thank you for the education. My question... Do you know where I can get quality Acai berry juice and other products? You help with this is greatly appreciated.

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    Thank you for that testimony, Beloved! Greatly appreciated. In re Acai Berry, look into Monie Vie (though mixed with other berries). Great product! Health food stores now sell Acai Berry juice (i.e. Knudsen). I purchase mine from Whole Foods Market. Pure 100% Acai Berry may be a little challenging to find though!

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    Glad you found and like the site. Listen, for "STAPH INFECTION", we have an article already dedicated to this subject whom you can find in our articles section. It offers remedy and recourse. Please visit our articles section. Contact us again if you have additional questions!

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    Check out our website for raw salad dressing recipes. You are bound to find one you like.

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    Q: Thanks once again for your prompt response. Also, what about the iron extract? When I read your article on sickle cell, I ask the "doctor" some questions regarding iron and to my amazement, she could not answer properly and tried to make me think I was crazy and uninformed. But it backfired on her due to your educational articles. I LOVE YOU!! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. EDUCATING THE WORLD!!!!! Peace & love for sure!!

    A:

    The Iron Extract is good too, Beloved! Herbs are noble and will help your child - guaranteed! And THANK YOU so much for showing so much love! I love you too, Beloved, and am thankful for your support and patronage of Dherbs.Com! God bless you, Beloved!

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    Q: I am currently on the Full Body Detox. It's my 4th or 5th time & I love the results each time. My question is: I was told that it is okay to eat black beans while on the Full Body Detox, but only black beans. Although I love black beans, & would love to be able to eat them while detoxing, I wouldn't want to interfere with the detox or defeat the purpose. I look forward to you response. It sounds too good to be true...but if it is, why only black beans?

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    You are misinformed on the black beans or any beans for that matter, Beloved. Beans should be avoided during the Full Body Detox unless eaten SPROUTED. Sprouted beans are the only exception because they are not cooked!

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    Q: HELLO DHERBS, I READ YOUR ARTICLES AND I LOVE THEM, YOU SAID THAT YOU AREN'T RELIGIOUS I'M JUST CURIOUS, DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOD? WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO TREAT TOURETTE SYNDROME?

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    Glad you enjoy our articles! Do I believe in a Higher Power (most folks call God), OF COURSE! I just stay away from all the specific names (and religions) crazy ass man (Western humanity) has given to God which has caused hundreds of bloody wars that have killed hundreds of millions of people like what you now see in Iraq with Muslims and Christians killing each other over politics which is so stupid. Religious people are in bad shape because they don't understand Universal law that is impartial, so religious people are dropping like flies to diseases God DIDN'T create, they are being taxed by an unconstitutional income tax, they work jobs that rob their soul just to make ends meet and God does not have anybody here to make ends meet (pay bills), but to become one with God, etc. I just stay away from all the craziness in the world caused by man. I'd rather live with the animals in the wild. For the T Syndrome, start with the FULL BODY DETOX. Perform it 3-4 times a year. Change your diet too. Go more raw foods (fruits and vegetables). Cut back on meat and dairy products. Drink vegetable juice daily!

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    There are so many fantastic essential oils that can enhance the mood. Lavender (only as a catalyzer to bring out the essence of other oils), citrus oils (Lemon Peel, Orange Peel, Grapefruit Peel), may chang a/k/a litsea cubeba, linden flower, rose otto, bulgarian Rose, neroli frankincense geranium rose (great oil for women), and davana to name a few.

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    Q: I have a question for you. I love reading your articles and I was reading about the importance of iodine in a vegan diet. I am vegan and I'm scared I'm getting iodine and you wrote that seaweed would fulfill that need. Did you mean Sushi seaweed, the roasted nori kind? Or fresh seaweed? I haven't been able to find fresh seaweed anywhere, except for already prepared seaweed salad. Also, how would you suggest I use the roasted nori seaweed? In smoothies? Because by itself it does not taste good.

    A:

    No! Not fresh water seaweed. But seaweed sold in a health food store. One in a bottle. Try Dulse, Kelp, Spiriulina, or even Dherbs Iodine Phosphate formula.