How To Be Alone (Without Being Alone)

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We have more tools and resources to connect to each other now than ever before. Yet, with this ease of connection comes a price: we unlearn how to spend time with ourselves. Making time to be alone is important for developing our sense of self and individuality, deepening our self-knowledge, and unwinding.

Here are four suggestions you can use to re-learn the art of being alone without being lonely:

1. Take yourself out on an artist’s date.

This suggestion comes from writer and creative guide Julia Cameron, who prescribed weekly artist dates in her 12-week creativity course The Artist’s Way. An artist’s date involves setting aside an hour, an afternoon, or a whole day for yourself and doing something that will delight your inner child.

This could be baking your favorite cake, visiting your local craft store, watching an old movie, or anything else that lights up your creative side. To keep your artist dates fresh, start keeping a “love list” of activities you want to try.

Set aside time on a weekly basis to be with yourself, engage with something that enchants your inner child, and watch for the positive shifts that will happen in other areas of your life as a result.

2. Meditate for just two minutes a day.

Meditation is one of the most valuable ways we can spend time with ourselves, and it’s a great opportunity to introduce more clarity, serenity, and focus into our lives.

If you’re struggling to make time to sit with yourself on a regular basis, start by making a commitment to sit and breathe for two minutes each day. After a couple of weeks, raise the time to three minutes, then four minutes, and so on, until you reach a length of time you feel satisfied with.

Meditation isn’t a sprint; it’s a life-long practice; starting small but staying consistent now will lay the foundations for your emotional prosperity in the future.

3. Turn off your devices and disconnect.

While smartphones and other devices are great for staying connected to other people, they can be both a gift and a curse. When we have a negative experience, we can rant about it on Facebook, rather than learning to self-soothe.

When we’re working on something that is difficult or uncomfortable, we only need to reach for our phones for temporary relief, rather than sticking with the task at hand and strengthening our focus and resilience.

It’s never been easier to get immediate external validation, and this distracts from the most important validation of all: the validation that comes from ourselves.

Disconnecting means turning off the phone, leaving the laptop at home, and putting the devices on “Do not disturb.” It means experiencing some temporary discomfort as we lose this external source of validation and entertainment, but it also means experiencing a stronger sense of inner confidence and security in the long-term. By disconnecting from our external distractions, we develop a deeper connection with ourselves.

4. Make time to sit each day and write about whatever happens to be on your mind at that moment.

Journaling is one of the most effective ways to develop a closer and more loving self-relationship. When we write for ourselves, we can express our true thoughts and feelings in a safe environment, without fear of repercussion or rejection.

If you’re new to the practice of journaling, make time to sit each day and write about whatever happens to be on your mind at that moment. Like meditation, start with a small practice—just five or 10 minutes—and increase it as you become more comfortable.

Through journaling, we can gain clarity on issues or problems in our lives, we can create visions for our future, and we can practice self-acceptance and compassion. Most of all, we can learn that even when we are alone, we always have ourselves for company.

What are your suggestions for being alone without being lonely? How do you like to spend time with yourself? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

By: Hannah Braime
Source: www.mindbodygreen.com

2014-10-20T13:33:24+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I think it is interesting that you spend a lot of time pushing your personal opinions and share limited advice. What do you understand about integrity and professionalism? Or even respect for others? I do not see it. If people are looking to you for help why do you spit on their problems? I was researching your site to help a client resolve their addiction to smoking. I have to say I was sadly disappointed to read your article. It is not helpful nor is it informative. In fact it enforces shame and negativity on those who seek help and positive life changes. I would hope you could restructure your article to benefit all. It would be beneficial to check out higher consciousness sites on herbal healing. I wish for you in this moment to find peace and resolve your anger and prejudice that is so apparent in your articles. Love, light and peace.

    A:

    YOUR perception is not MY reality, Love. I am doing me and you do you. Tell you what: you do what I am failing to do or what you feel I am failing to do. This would be more appropriate. Pick up the ball where you deem it dropped. Talk is cheap and actions speak. I have done the actions and am doing them (read the reviews and testimonies on Dherbs.com). It speaks for itself. My new smoking article will reflect where I am presently, but it will still blast the ignorant cigarette smokers. One can't just blame government and the cigarette industry for the actions of the dumb cigarette smoker. Dumb and weak Americans must also foot partial blame, actually most of it, because they had a choice and there was no gun to their head forcing them to smoke. These people were simply weak and stupid and not to mention unconscious. Period! It doesn't sound nice but it's factual and truthful. I don't sugar coat the truth because sugar is a poison! The first article was written 6-7 years ago and that's why it's so brief. Thank you for visiting the #1 website in all-natural herbal products and raw uncompromising information that people all across the world are eating up and just can't get enough of.

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

    Birth control pills play a big role in female reproductive cancers. Women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men. In attempting to stop or prevent life (birth control), they are ending up losing their very own lives. And the birth control pills cause cancer in areas of the body that denote femininity (breasts, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus and vagina). This is a form of language here. You have disease and female organ(s) which basically means your disease is specifically related to an issue of femaleness or femininity, that's why the disease manifests in these "female" organs. In attempting to be like and compete with males, females compromise their feminine integrity and goddess nature which "eats them up" (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.) inside. When the cancer appears in any female organ, it serves as a sign or sensor that the problem lies on a deeper metaphysical level pertaining to emotions, thoughts and attitude."

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    Q: What are some of your favorite songs? Who are your favorite artist to listen to for uplifting and relaxing music for the mind and body and soul.

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

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    A: The Electric Greensis a great formula that helps your body cleanse itself of toxins and waste, and is intended to help provide your body with the plant-based vitamins and nutrients necessary to promote optimal health.

     

     

     

     

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    Q: I am beginning a career as an artist but I am a single mother. I have worked in many corporate offices as a temp. I have attempted attending schools for things I thought would make me money. I really want to be a successful artist but I also have to take care of my son and work on art and work on my freelance contracts. I do not make the money I want or live where I want to live yet. I help my mother with her bills, I buy groceries and cook for everyone, I work at my uncles center for children and out of an art gallery at the homeless shelter as well as attend courses regarding the art business. I am doing it all without acquiring debt but I would like to know if it sounds like I am doing enough. I live a very lonely life, no real friends, no boyfriend. The only "kicks" I get are smoking a little weed and drinking a little wine here and there. I take my son to school and pick him up daily. I made sure I got him into one of the top schools in my city I also try to teach him and read to him as much as possible and keep him out of trouble. It gets hard. How do I stay motivated? I think the thing that bothers me most is uncertainty and the lack of money I have right now. How do I get to the next level financially without acquiring debt or having to fight traffic and deal with crazy attitudes every day?

    A:

    I apologize for the very delayed response, we have been experiencing technical difficulties.  I first would like to commend you on your ability to prioritize in such an effective manner.  Your life sounds like one lived in great service to  and love of others.  However, it is also VERY important that you receive energy from others so that you do not become too imbalanced.  Balance in life is crucial in all things (spiritual, physical, cognitive, relational etc).

    Your loneliness is your heart's/spirit's way of asking for relational balance.  It will continue asking louder and cause difficulties in other areas of your life/being until you create this balance.  Your substance use (and thank you for your honesty) only temporarily masks the loneliness, but drugs can only make it worse.  You see, drugs block us from becoming skilled at creating healthy relationships because they numbs us by turning down the volume on our brain's natural pleasure-centers.

    Additionally; keep in mind:  Your first fruits are always to be consumed by YOU!  You must always place yourself first, even before your son.  In example:  Airlines direct you that in the event of trouble you are to place your own oxygen mask on first.  You can be of no use to your son if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen.  Similarly, if you give all of your fruits to others, you will have no "seed" or energy to produce more fruit.  

    You must give to you first!  Then you have the energy to give to others.  It teaches others how to give to you, how to love you, how to respect you and your needs while giving them the opportunity to reciprocate by giving to you.  This is how we balance giving.  Don't worry if it feels selfish at first, it definitely will seem that way, to you and possibly others.  Its just the change of tides making everyone feel a bit uncomfortable - but this will balance out in time as you become  more skilled at receiving and feel more worthy of others' care .

    I realize you have asked several other questions, however I have addressed the one I feel will help unblock your energy and allow you to see that the answers to the other questions have always been right before you.  We are born with everything we need to accomplish our goals, we only need to focus on the proper utilization of these gifts and resources.  If you couple this skill with fearlessness and belief in oneself, you will win.

    This communication does not constitute a client/coach relationship.  This is for information purposes only.

    Life is simply beautiful! 

    Enjoy your Self!

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    Q: Due to what I did with women in previous experiences, from time to time I tend to think, and worry about what my woman might do. She's a wonderful lady-she really is; and she's been upfront, and honest from the get go. But, I can get a little pessimistic about the relationship. But, I do that because I know how slick women can be. I've been on the receiving end of that slickness! So again, from time to time, that creeps up in my thoughts. And yes, I have been absolutely committed to her as well.

    A:

    What you focus on with emotion is what you attract according to the law of attraction. If you continue to give these negative thoughts, your focus you will manifest this outcome. You have to consciously change this pattern to get out of your loop. When you feellike consciously, remind yourself of what you DO want. Allow yourself to create what you really want, which is to feel calm and in love with your amazin woman.

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    Children do forget, but it should not be so often and customary. Try BRAIN TUNER formula and BRAIN TUNER TEA and SIXTH CHAKRA for help with improving his memory. Cut out sugar in the diet!

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    Q: I really love what you're doing and you have a brilliant approach in getting the information out to the masses. I just finished watching your youtube footage. Very Nice! I am a Kung-Fu Martial Artist and I've been experiencing discomfort in my knees. I workout regularly. Is there any recommendation you could give me to quiet this discomfort and help restore my body, because my muscles are often sore.

    A:

    Thank you for your acknowledgment, Beloved! Much obliged! Metaphysics: Emotionally, the knees (knee pain) refelcts inflexibility in your perception of the future. It occurs more often in those with an arrogant or stubborn personality, who are unable to bend to new ideas or to the ideas of others. Physical: Knee pain denotes inflammation and should be treated immediately. I recommend Dherbs.Com HEADACHE AND PAIN FORMULA, JOINT FORMULA, ACID BUSTER, MSM SULFUR, and ENZYMES FORMULA. Rub a natural salve product on your knees too (or essential oil of Eucalyptus and Peppermint). Rub knees daily with these oils. Apply olive oil on the knees first before you rub in these 2 oils.

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    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

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    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    A:

    Beloved, there is relief for you! I suggest you perform the FULL BODY DETOX Cleanse followed by the Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse, and lastly, the Total Woman Cleanse. To help get the mind on track, I would suggest our "Mental Science Manual" which can read during your healing (each cleanse, re-read the book). You also may be interested in our Breast Oil. I will be in Atlanta next month for a health lecture!

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    Q: I am having a hard time getting pregnant. I am 38, did FSH blood- GREAT, HSG- tubes open, uterus clear, Semen Analysis- great.... but no baby. I have a 4 1/2 year old child and I had no problems. What can you suggest? Not good with fasting really- but can you give me some ideas on what to take?

    A:

    It may be your mate, Beloved. Both of you should work on yourselves. Not necessarily "fasting", but cleansing (TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE, TOTAL MALE CLEANSE) and then you should perform the FERTILITY CLEANSE.

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    Q: Thank you for taking out the time to reply. What do you make of the opinions of opponents of consumption of mono-atomic gold, touting it as a secret mind-control serum and other such commentary?

    A:

    It's hogwash! The ancients used this stuff. If it was for mind control and brainwashing purposes, how many people do you know who can afford this stuff? It's too expensive for most people. They don't want people to use this stuff and become spiritually conscious. Don't you think they would promote something cheaper and that everyone can get access to or afford if they wanted to brainwash folks? Mono-atomic Gold is AWESOME! It is not for the masses!

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    Q: How do I get the songs on the meditation section of your website on cd? Can you please prvide artist info thanks?

    A:

    ARTIST:
    Track 1 and 3 are by Wah! CD name: jai jai Jai
    Track # 2 "The Wind" is by Kitaro

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    Q: I had sent an e-mail some time ago regarding me having local excision of the vulva. I recently returned to my doctor, and they would like to do another biopsy. I'm tired of going through this mess, and looking for alternative options. I think this is my time to try Dherbs.com. I need to know, what needs to be done for this so called stage III vulvar cancer? Supposedly is caused by HPV, however my cervix is fine. I'm desperate for help, and refuse to go under the knife again and let them keep cutting away at me. They also made the comment to me several times that if I don't take care of this, and it continues I can potentially die. Please help me!!

    A:

    You can heal, Beloved and it doesn't need to be painful. First, I'd recommend that you perform the Full Body Detox and follow it up by performing the Total Woman Cleanse. Stick to a mostly raw foods diet as best you can. Drink plenty of vegetable juice to nourish the cells. Bathe in sea salt water daily. See "Sea Salt Soak" article. Apply mental science (mental exercises -- healing visualization techniques). Very important! I highly recommend as complimentary reading "The Mental Science Manual." Do all of the above for starters, Beloved! Dherbs.com is always here for you, Beloved! Please BELIEVE that you can heal, Beloved!

    Article:
    Sea Salt Soak

    Product Links:
    Full Body Detox
    Total Woman Cleanse
    The Mental Science Manual

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    Q: I just got the FULL BODY DETOX for the first time. I am hoping that these products work as I have heard. I really just want to be sure that I can take them all together and if it would be safe and effective. I also want to know how long it takes before I start seeing effects? Please do let me know.

    A:

    YOU CAN TAKE THEM ALL TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME BUT IT IS BEST TO SPACE THEM OUT LIKE EVERY 2-3 HOURS. BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE. HERBS ARE SAFE SO THERE'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. AS FAR AS SEEING RESULTS, I COULDN'T TELL YOU BECAUSE EVERY PERSON IS DIFFERENT BUT YOU'LL SEE RESULTS WHEN YOU SEE THEM WHICH MEANS YOUR BODY WILL BE THE ONE LETTING YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON SO JUST WATCH THE SIGNS YOUR BODY GIVES YOU, OKAY?

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    Q: I am a marathon runner, swimmer, and part time student. For my Entire Life since age 13 1/2, I?ve had either anorexia or bulimia, sometimes a bit of both. I am now 41. Yes, my teeth are hurting. Yes, I realize this is supposedly not optimal health, but I suppose my life has been so stressful for such a long time, that my eating 'disorder'edness has just been the coping mechanism that has kept me sane. Thing is, I realize I want to live a long, healthy life, and I need help. My thought is that a cleanse of some sort of toxins might really help me. Would you have any herbs to offer I could do that with, say, in tea form? Or any other sage. I really seriously hope you respond because I need help.

    A:

    The Full Body Cleanse will greatly help your body to remove toxins.

    One of our teas you will want to drink daily is the Detox Tea, along with a number of other teas. Please check our online store for a full list.

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    Q: I have a child and she will be nine this year. I have not been able to get pregnant since then, both partners I tried with; have gotten other females pregnant so why is it taking me such a long time to conceive another child. I’ve been on birth controls before and just stop because they where making my body feel weird so what would you suggest that I do about the situation.

    A:

    TIME TO REBOOT YOUR FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM. FIRST, DETOXIFY YOUR BODY (FULL BODY DETOX) NEXT, PERFORM THE TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. LASTLY, PERFORM THE FERTILITY CLEANSE. YOUR THOUGHTS SHOULD BE DOMINATED BY THOUGHTS OF PREGNANCY. VISUALIZE YOURSELF PREGNANT. AFFIRM YOUR FERTILITY THROUGHOUT THE DAY. USE YOUR MIND TO ACHIEVE YOUR DESIRES!