How To Create More Mystery In Your Long-Term Relationship

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Where there is mystery in relationships, there is also curiosity, intrigue and desire. Mystery is the energy that turns us on. It’s an essential component to wanting to get closer to someone, and specifically to that feeling of wanting more.

So what do you do if you’re in a committed relationship? How can you create more mystery with the person you already know so well? Well, that’s what this article is all about.

Before I jump in, I want to confirm the (obvious) fact that mystery easily diminishes when we spend a lot of time with someone. The act of getting to know someone is, by definition, the opposite of experiencing them as mysterious. And let’s be clear: this is not a problem!

We all — both as individuals and in relationships — are always striving to find balance between opposing energies. For instance, we all like safety … but we also like adventure. We all like familiarity … but we also like novelty. We all like closeness … but we also like space.

The point of life is not to arrive into a perfect state of balance, and to stay there forever. That’s impossible! Life is always in flux, and so are we.

Because of this, the point of life is to strive for balance again and again. Daily. Sure, this may seem annoying at times, but when you accept the natural flow of life — that feeling of striving to find harmony between opposing energies — it becomes a beautiful dance.

It’s very common for us to get stuck in the mundane, the steady, the scheduled. And in many ways, we gravitate toward this responsible impulse. It’s natural. But when we spend too much time in the safe zone, life inevitably can feel quite dull and dry.

It’s from that emotional place that we then start to crave newness and mystery again — as we should!

Luckily, inviting more mystery back into your relationship is totally doable. So let’s get to that! Below are four ways to enliven your life and your relationship, connecting you with mystery and spontaneity once again.

1. Ditch the schedule from time to time.

I understand that schedules keep us on-track to accomplish things in our lives. However, too much scheduling leads to boredom. It’s just true. You have to mix-it-up if you want life to feel passionate and exciting. Predictability does not get our juices flowing!

If your relationship feels stale or rigid, make a choice to invite spontaneity in. Ditch work with your partner and go on an adventure. Don’t go to sleep at your usual bedtime. Sleep in past your alarm. Turn off the TV and Internet for a week and see what happens.

2. Break some rules.

You know you want to! We all want to — too much constraint makes us crazy!

Here’s the thing: rebellion will always be mysterious — and therefore attractive. Rules are important because they keep us safe and in-line. But too much rigidity will eventually feel restrictive and monotonous. So please, for the sake of your happiness, break some rules!

Eat dessert. Don’t work out. Do anything that feels naughty or “bad.” And this next part is essential: don’t feel guilty about it! Enjoy it. Let yourself bask in being free and unrestricted. The freedom in your life and relationship will increase as a result.

3. Surprise each other.

Novelty re-engages our senses in a new way; it makes us feel alive! So do something surprising. And if it’s “naughty” andsurprising … even better!

Catch your partner off guard. Do something he/she wouldn’t expect. Look at your partner in a different way — and aim for the expression of Do I know you? By throwing surprises into your relationship, you’re keeping your partner on his/her toes, and provoking the mystery to come out and play.

4. Get (really) playful.

Everything that I suggested so far centers around being playful. Again, scheduled, predictable energy is the opposite of playful energy. And this isn’t a problem — until we go to far with all the planning, scheduling and being “responsible.” When that happens, all the mystery and fun drains away.

Though don’t worry about it if this happens to you. Instead, simply make the decision to cultivate your joy and laughter again — and make this decision a priority! Doing so will lighten the energy of your life, and the people around you.

Remember: when you want to create more of anything in your life, use your imagination, first and foremost, to explore how to make your thoughts and dreams into your reality. We have the capacity to feel a range of energies, right this very moment. The trick is to embody that energy within yourself, and let it lead the way.

Tap into the mystery within you, and let it be your guide. Give spontaneity and play the importance they deserve, and your relationship will spring into a new life as a result.

By: www.mindbodygreen.com

2015-11-13T16:11:37+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I know you are an herbalist and I have read your articles on relationships, but I really need to discuss an issue with a conscious person like yourself. I have a friend who is a conscious brother, he made it known that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, claims he's to busy, but he is into having a spiritual sexual relationship(releasing energy he says on a spiritual level). My thought is that in order to connect with someone totally on a sexual level they should be a unit to experience this sacred sexual experience he refers to, otherwise to me it seems a very clever why to have sex without the commitment of being in a relationship. I would really appreciate your thoughts.

    A:

    Dudes can be so clever! He sounds like a Taurus! LOL!

    He's using spirituality to justify having sex with you. There's no spirituality with a casual sex partner. This practice is deep and creates serious energetic connections via the chakras. There's no connection without being a unit and having a commitment. My motto is: no sex absent love and commitment (unless both parties agree)! Hope this helps you out!

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    Q: Hi, I have been dealing with what I believe to be depression for years. I once was prescribed Zoloft and I took the meds for 1 month. I did not want to take drugs so I discontinued use. I have gone up and down in my career and love life. Now I just feel tired and feel I am steadily spiraling down. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what. I have gone to therapy several times and nothing last. I desire to have a full life and believe GOD wants us to live abundantly. I just seem to keep struggling, I will do well for a few weeks then out of nowhere I will start sabotaging things. Can you tell me what products I can use to gain my life back?

    A:

    You can get your life back, Ma'am! First, DETOX (FULL BODY DETOX). Read our free articles while Detoxing and make sure you order and read our MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL too which is very important in healing as it shows you how to work the mind to your benefit.

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

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    Q: I'm having a little hard time building a relationship with my lady's 6 year-old daughter. She's sweet, the only child (for now), and has her father in her life. I don't want to be her dad, but I do want her to respect me. I intend to marry this lady, and I will be the father figure in our house.

    A:

    Just focus on things you appreciate about the child. Stop judging her relationship with her mother. Find a perspective about her that feels good. Respect her, and give her space to warm up to you at her own pace. It will happen

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    Q: Too much sex drive. Hot sperm, premature ejaculation, stress, life problem, learning problems, and extreme anger, a general feeling of unwanted life situations. Feeling drained after sex acts without a partner and not satisfied with my life.

    A:

    I recommend the following for you:

    1. Total Male Cleanse
    2. Full Body Detox Companion

    After the Total Male Cleanse, perform the Full Body Detox.

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    Thank you for your interest in Dherbs.Com!

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    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

    A:

    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

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    Q: I am a marathon runner, swimmer, and part time student. For my Entire Life since age 13 1/2, I?ve had either anorexia or bulimia, sometimes a bit of both. I am now 41. Yes, my teeth are hurting. Yes, I realize this is supposedly not optimal health, but I suppose my life has been so stressful for such a long time, that my eating 'disorder'edness has just been the coping mechanism that has kept me sane. Thing is, I realize I want to live a long, healthy life, and I need help. My thought is that a cleanse of some sort of toxins might really help me. Would you have any herbs to offer I could do that with, say, in tea form? Or any other sage. I really seriously hope you respond because I need help.

    A:

    The Full Body Cleanse will greatly help your body to remove toxins.

    One of our teas you will want to drink daily is the Detox Tea, along with a number of other teas. Please check our online store for a full list.

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    Q: I believe I have the herpes virus. I have so many outbreaks that my life is becoming unbearable. I have an almost nonexistent sex life. My husband complains a lot and this is very frustrating. I don't think that my husband really believes that I'm itching as well as hurting most of the time. Doctors say there is no cure but I don't believe that. I don't want to go on medication for the rest of my life. Is there anything natural I can take to help?

    A:

    THERE IS HELP FOR YOU, BELOVED. PLEASE DO YOURSELF A BIG FAVOR AND READ OUR "GENITAL HERPES" ARTICLE. EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW (CAUSES, PREVENTION, AND HEALING) IS IN THAT ARTICLE. PLEASE READ IT AS HEALING BEGINS WITH KNOWLEDGE!

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    Q: I have so much going on in my life right now that is beyond my control- I can't sleep through the night. Is there any natural remedy to help me sleep? I don't like taking sleeping pill.

    A:

    Take 6 capsules of NERVES FORMULA before bed each night!

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    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

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    Q: For several years, I have a pins and needles feeling all over including burning. I feel light- headed frequently and feels like I would fall to the floor if I don't concentrate on keeping myself steady. I have lower back pain (center) that does not relent. My foot feels like there is current running in my feet all the time and my pinkie on my right hand feel numb. My neuro tested me for MS and it came back negative. I have been to several doctors and no one can tell me what it is or help me with my symptoms. They have resorted to calling my condition "stress". I do feel anxious most times and lack optimism. Any suggestions? Thanks in advance for your response.

    A:

    You are in need of a full body cleansing. I recommend you try our FULL BODY DETOX. Also, start drinking NERVES TEA (which you can drink while Detoxing).

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    Q: What is the relationship between exercise and energy?

    A:

    Energy exists whether we exercise or not. We live in a sea of energy. Exercise helps us to keep our bodily fluids fluid and moving.

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    Q: I have these moments in my life where everything with an electrical current that I'm around breaks down. I had this friend who brought me some information that said it has something do with my sign (Pisces March 15th) and the sun, moon & stars & energy through me. I think it's a 2 week long phenomenon that happens every year. Do you know anything about it? I'd like to know when it's over. I can't afford all the repair costs!

    A:

    IT'S ASTROLOGICAL NO DOUBT; AND BEING A PISCES, THIS SOUNDS RIGHT AS PISCES CORRELATES AND CORRESPONDS TO THE 12 HOUSE OF "TROUBLE." A CHART WOULD HAVE TO BE PERFORMED ON YOU, BELOVED!

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    Q: I'm 17 years of age and go to a boarding high school in Florida. I just moved here from L.A. Over the summer. I've always been passionate about picking up valuable information that is not taught in schools. Even though I've always gotten good grades in all classes, I have always had a dislike for school. I feel like it is trapping me, because I have very little time to study topics that are truly beneficial such as law, herbs, history and many other topics. I just wanted to give you a brief background image of me; bottom line is this... I want to be part of what you are doing. I know you probably have so many positions filled. And I've never been materialistic and never liked school, but I also understand that if I want to get out in the world on my own right now I need to have a situation where I can make a sufficient amount of money to support myself. So I'm just letting you know I'm very passionate about helping people heal themselves and I would be very committed to what you are trying to accomplish in terms of healing people mentally and physically. I feel so thankful because most people don't get the opportunity to come across TRUE herbalism, TRU history, TRUE law, etc, until they are deep into adulthood, if ever. And I feel like I must fulfill my opportunity starting NOW. Because if I don't, I would be failing the mission I was incarnated here to do. Peace

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You have recognized at a very young age that school is a waste of time as measured against the subjects of your heart. Make the time to study the topics of your interest. It's well worth it, Beloved! I did it for many years of my life and when I was out of school and got into knowledge, I spent almost whole days studying the interests of my desires which has led me to the life I am now living. I'm glad I followed my heart. In regards to Dherbs, unfortunately Beloved, I am an Inter-net company only and thus have no positions available. What is your zodiac sign? Maybe we can help you to find work that is suitable to your interests. Your 10th House explains the area's best for you work-wise. Hey, thanks for reaching out, Beloved! One day I would like to employ thousands of people. If you ever want to talk or need advice, give me a call!

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    Q: Due to what I did with women in previous experiences, from time to time I tend to think, and worry about what my woman might do. She's a wonderful lady-she really is; and she's been upfront, and honest from the get go. But, I can get a little pessimistic about the relationship. But, I do that because I know how slick women can be. I've been on the receiving end of that slickness! So again, from time to time, that creeps up in my thoughts. And yes, I have been absolutely committed to her as well.

    A:

    What you focus on with emotion is what you attract according to the law of attraction. If you continue to give these negative thoughts, your focus you will manifest this outcome. You have to consciously change this pattern to get out of your loop. When you feellike consciously, remind yourself of what you DO want. Allow yourself to create what you really want, which is to feel calm and in love with your amazin woman.

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    Q: I read your article on Dangerous Dairy, and I cannot find on the internet any back up on what is discussed about dairy. Example, fecal matter (like milk), if this is not real fecal matter. What are you talking about? It is also stated that no other animals will drink other animals milk. This is not so, there are reports of baby animals, that lose their mothers and another species steps in to save the baby animals life. A dog saving a baby tigers life. A squirrel saving a pigs life, etc. It is a known fact that we have been eating dairy products for over 8,0000 years. I know that times have changed, but where are your facts were are you getting these facts to report such cause and effect? I would like to see this facts or websites. Thank you.

    A:

    Your problem may be the Inter-net. You can't be an exclusive Inter-net armchair researcher and expect to find everything, such as the information in my article. We can't give up on BOOKS for a computer screen!

    Everything I cover in my article can be scientifically backed up.

    RECOMMENDED:
    BOOK: Don't Drink Your Milk by Frank A. Oski, M.D.
    BOOK: Milk: The Deadly Poison, by Robert Cohen
    VIDEO: Let's Eat To Live - Vol. 8 "Milk" (shows filter screen with cow feces on it)
    Like the Bible says: ask and it shall be given.

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

    Birth control pills play a big role in female reproductive cancers. Women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men. In attempting to stop or prevent life (birth control), they are ending up losing their very own lives. And the birth control pills cause cancer in areas of the body that denote femininity (breasts, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus and vagina). This is a form of language here. You have disease and female organ(s) which basically means your disease is specifically related to an issue of femaleness or femininity, that's why the disease manifests in these "female" organs. In attempting to be like and compete with males, females compromise their feminine integrity and goddess nature which "eats them up" (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.) inside. When the cancer appears in any female organ, it serves as a sign or sensor that the problem lies on a deeper metaphysical level pertaining to emotions, thoughts and attitude."

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    Q: I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. I?m in a long-term relationship and want to get pregnant someday soon. My doctor says this will lessen my chances. What herbs can help me to heal?

    A:

    I would recommend that you perform the Full Body Detox followed by the Total Woman Cleanse. Change your diet too! Change your thoughts! Think positive! Think fertility! See those future babies in your mind (and they will come!)! You can heal, Beloved!

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    Q: I think it is interesting that you spend a lot of time pushing your personal opinions and share limited advice. What do you understand about integrity and professionalism? Or even respect for others? I do not see it. If people are looking to you for help why do you spit on their problems? I was researching your site to help a client resolve their addiction to smoking. I have to say I was sadly disappointed to read your article. It is not helpful nor is it informative. In fact it enforces shame and negativity on those who seek help and positive life changes. I would hope you could restructure your article to benefit all. It would be beneficial to check out higher consciousness sites on herbal healing. I wish for you in this moment to find peace and resolve your anger and prejudice that is so apparent in your articles. Love, light and peace.

    A:

    YOUR perception is not MY reality, Love. I am doing me and you do you. Tell you what: you do what I am failing to do or what you feel I am failing to do. This would be more appropriate. Pick up the ball where you deem it dropped. Talk is cheap and actions speak. I have done the actions and am doing them (read the reviews and testimonies on Dherbs.com). It speaks for itself. My new smoking article will reflect where I am presently, but it will still blast the ignorant cigarette smokers. One can't just blame government and the cigarette industry for the actions of the dumb cigarette smoker. Dumb and weak Americans must also foot partial blame, actually most of it, because they had a choice and there was no gun to their head forcing them to smoke. These people were simply weak and stupid and not to mention unconscious. Period! It doesn't sound nice but it's factual and truthful. I don't sugar coat the truth because sugar is a poison! The first article was written 6-7 years ago and that's why it's so brief. Thank you for visiting the #1 website in all-natural herbal products and raw uncompromising information that people all across the world are eating up and just can't get enough of.