How To Deal with Annoying People

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We all have someone, or likely more than one person, who comes to mind when we think of “annoying people.” For me, it’s the complainers, the gossipers and the negativity mongers in my life. I want to shout at them, “Stop being so negative! Can’t you see you’re disrupting my state of peace and enlightenment over here?”

Of course, if I were truly in a state of peace and enlightenment, no amount of complaining, gossiping or other behavior would shake me from my nirvana. So why am I so easily disturbed? Is it them, or is it me?

Being positive is something that I work on every day — similar to exercising. Like a muscle that needs training, having a positive attitude takes practice, commitment and patience. It’s an ongoing process for me and I can slip back into old negative thought patterns pretty easily. Since I interact with others every day, here’s my practice for dealing when I find someone annoying:

1. Notice what exactly annoys you.

Why is it that complaining is annoying to me, while other behaviors — such as messiness, being late or talking a lot (e.g. things that can really irritate others) — don’t bother me at all?

Perhaps it’s that others’ complaints and negativity really highlight what I’m working on changing — patterns of negativity in my own thoughts and behaviors. When this happens, I can actually see the annoying person as a mirror image and their behavior as a reminder, which helps clarify what behaviors I no longer wish to perpetuate in my life.

2. Consider why this experience is happening.

If the Buddhist saying “All that we are is a result of what we have thought” is right, then I am the creator of all I am experiencing in my life — all those annoying people included.

This also means that my own complaining and negativity in the past have attracted my current experience, and that I have the power to change my reality just by changing my thoughts. If all that we are experiencing now is a result of our past thoughts, then we are literally creating our future with our current thoughts. This philosophy takes some acceptance of responsibility and accountability, but feeling that I have this power gives me even more reason to keep my thoughts positive.

3. Take the path of least resistance.

According to the ancient text the I Ching, “The path of least resistance is nonresistance.” When I am feeling annoyed by someone, simply yielding to what is and making a choice to lift my resistance always lifts the power the negativity off me.

Sometimes the path of least resistance is just to excuse myself and walk away, or deliberately decline opportunities to put myself in the path of those who are likely to push my buttons. Another “least resistance” technique I like to use is what I call the Jedi Mind Trick. The complaining gossiper might approach me and say, “Did you see that woman’s dress? Wasn’t it so ugly?” So I reply, “No I didn’t, but have you eaten at that new locavore restaurant downtown? It’s incredible.” 

4. Find common ground.

If this is someone you see often, such as a work colleague or family member, what fun and positive thing do you have in common that you can focus on and talk about when you’re together? If you dig deeply enough, I believe you can find something that any two people share in common. The key is to pick a topic that is fun for both of you to talk about, taking the focus away from the behavior or topics of conversation that have annoyed you in the past. Fashion? Sports? Food? Travel? Movies? There must be some shared interest you can bond over.

5. Be responsible for your own feelings.

As good as it feels to blame my annoyed feelings on the actions or words of someone else, it feels even better to know I have the power to control how I feel. My ultimate goal is to become so unshakable in my own joy and positivity that no one else’s mood or behavior can rock my boat. These days, my boat is still quite unstable. And accepting that is part of this ongoing practice.

In all areas of life, we can make a practice to cultivate gratitude, almost as if we were exercising weaker muscles. We can learn, through this practice, how to focus more on the positive and to take responsibility for our own feelings and experiences — even the annoying ones.

Source: www.mindbodygreen.com

2016-01-26T15:01:09+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I was most impressed by your website. The information to support your products and your obvious interest in informing the public caught and kept my attention. As I searched further into Black Seed Tea, the reason for my visit, I noticed your product ALCOHOL BUSTER. The comment of "on the metaphysical level, alcohol consumption also impairs the human aura" although very non clinical, is very much my way of thinking, it got my attention. I read as far as the disclaimer, "the formula does not have the power to prevent consumption of alcohol as only will power and a made up mind can do this." Here's where I step out of character and find myself writing this e-mail. It has been my experience while working with people from all walks of life, who are members of any 12 step program, that a reference to will power as a prevention of anything is a two edged sword. While I agree will power is important in abstention, I believe the person is benefited by using their personal will power to seek help, to commit to recovery, to take care of the physical, mental and emotional bodies. I don't believe "human" will power is the power that prevents consumption. The suggestion that "will power and a made up mind can prevent consumption of alcohol" to a person with an addiction could become a deadly idea. This of course is my opinion, do with it what you feel is appropriate.

    A:

    I feel you in where you're coming from, but I truly believe and know human willpower plays a role in prevention and healing of all disease. The strongest thing humans have is a will. Will meshes with desire in many cases. Both are strong in humans. Now, you're dealing with a person with addiction in regards to your last statement and I can totally understand where you are coming from but the sick person is not exempt from any laws of healing. There is no real or true healing absent willpower to do a thing, a beneficial thing. The addicted person must be first dealt with on the physical and psychological levels and then the spiritual and energetic (getting to the root of the addiction: perhaps a 2nd chakra problem or something hanging over from a past life). All addiction points to spiritual void and therefore the only ultimate healing here is mental or spiritual via mental. As you know, it's mind-body-spirit and all must be dealt with for healing. Will is important in abstention but we don't won't people to focus on abstaining which is usually converted into "can't have" by the addicted person. We want people to only focus on the good, the healthy, what they need and require, not what they don't want or can't have because their subconscious mind will create the situations and circumstances by which these people end up consuming the thing that is insalubrious for them. It never fails. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and plenty of other alcoholics. We want people to have and use willpower to GO FOR the best things for them, will in DOING the right and healthy things for themselves. All healing is ultimately within self. As a man thicket so is he! Peace be unto you fellow metaphysician!

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    Q: I think it is interesting that you spend a lot of time pushing your personal opinions and share limited advice. What do you understand about integrity and professionalism? Or even respect for others? I do not see it. If people are looking to you for help why do you spit on their problems? I was researching your site to help a client resolve their addiction to smoking. I have to say I was sadly disappointed to read your article. It is not helpful nor is it informative. In fact it enforces shame and negativity on those who seek help and positive life changes. I would hope you could restructure your article to benefit all. It would be beneficial to check out higher consciousness sites on herbal healing. I wish for you in this moment to find peace and resolve your anger and prejudice that is so apparent in your articles. Love, light and peace.

    A:

    YOUR perception is not MY reality, Love. I am doing me and you do you. Tell you what: you do what I am failing to do or what you feel I am failing to do. This would be more appropriate. Pick up the ball where you deem it dropped. Talk is cheap and actions speak. I have done the actions and am doing them (read the reviews and testimonies on Dherbs.com). It speaks for itself. My new smoking article will reflect where I am presently, but it will still blast the ignorant cigarette smokers. One can't just blame government and the cigarette industry for the actions of the dumb cigarette smoker. Dumb and weak Americans must also foot partial blame, actually most of it, because they had a choice and there was no gun to their head forcing them to smoke. These people were simply weak and stupid and not to mention unconscious. Period! It doesn't sound nice but it's factual and truthful. I don't sugar coat the truth because sugar is a poison! The first article was written 6-7 years ago and that's why it's so brief. Thank you for visiting the #1 website in all-natural herbal products and raw uncompromising information that people all across the world are eating up and just can't get enough of.

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    Q: I read most of your articles. Love them. What you say is 100% correct. See for me. I believe that God has put me here for a reason. I have been blessed with the ability to for see things and when I think about something hard enough BAM!! I think of someone and they show up, so in regards to my current situation YES. I did have a hand in this. I keep thinking of not wanting to get HIV. Didn’t want to hear about or talk about it. Then two months before getting my initial test. It was on my mind. Then I got a physical and I was like no going to take this test but went ahead anyway and here we are. Do I believe in it? Not anymore. I now believe in blood toxicity. I am not freaking out about outbreaks because I don't have any. What I want is to know how to shape my mind. Do I need Chakra balance? What can I do to stop the thoughts? How do I reverse my mind to stop thinking on things. I try so hard to see happy things and feel happy thoughts. BTW in Jan I thought about a cold sore and it appeared.

    A:

    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

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    Q: My problem is after I've eaten, whether I've slipped and had a sandwich or something not raw, or whether I've had all raw vegetables - especially broccoli or cauliflower, I am clearing my throat for pretty much the rest of the day. If I'm munching on raw nuts and seeds - same thing. It feels almost like I didn't swallow fully, or like the food didn't go down all the way or something. It's annoying to me, and I know it's irritating to my co-workers. What herb can help with this? It's mucus, right? I am currently doing the weight release cleanse. I've already done the FULL BODY DETOX (I failed miserably at this.)

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    There is no such thing as failure! Start drinking more water and try drinking MUCUS BUSTER TEA while performing your cleanse. Stay positive!

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    Q: In the midst of all the negativity, can you still have positive outcomes in America?

    A:

    You sure can! I sure am! You create your own reality here!

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

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    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
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    Q: I was involved in a car accident in late April, and in result I have Hematoma in my lower leg. At this point the swelling is annoying. Do you have anything that can help the swelling go down? Do you have anything to rebuild the bursted blood vessels?

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    A:

    In regards to your question: Oh yes! By all means purchase an air purifier or an ozone machine (which will actually be best or better for you). Make sure you detox (FULL BODY DETOX) periodically, consume ACTIVATED CHARCOAL, and take plenty of IODINE PHOSPHATE as sea weed is great for neutralizing the effects of radiation.

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    Q: First off, I want to say that I am TRULY grateful for the work that you are doing. Words cannot convey my sincere gratitude. I will continue to tell my loved ones about the wonderful products, services, and information that you provide. I read your article on ADD/ADHD and was deeply saddened by the harm that is being done to our children. A very dear friend of mine has an 11 year old son that was diagnosed and is currently on medication for this so called condition. I have a 5 year old daughter who just started kindergarten. My daughter is HIGHLY sensitive and gets her feelings hurt very easily. She had two melt downs in class the first week of school. When she was 3 years old, a psychiatrist who was observing her behavior, told me that she thought she may be ADD/ADHD but I did not receive it. My question is how do we, as parents, who are still working in the matrix, educate our children. As a single mom, I do not currently possess the luxury to home-school my daughter and at the same time, I am not pleased with the public school (fool) system, or even private school that still follows the same guidelines and curriculum. Any suggestions?

    A:

    You EDUCATE your children by living TRUTH, being the example of righteous living, personal responsibility, personal accountability, integrity, morals, ethics, etc. BE ABOUT IT! Children learn by watching and then emulating! LIVE IT! The examples from home are stronger than what's learned at school and your child admires you more than any other person. Thank you kindly for your words which are greatly appreciated, Beloved. Thank you so much!

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    Q: I truly Thank You and Love your website and love for God. Please recommend what I can purchase from you for consistent vaginal mucous discharge. Not foul, just chalky and annoying. I think I may have Candida because I have dry scalp as well. I tried Probiotics but didn't seem to work.

    A:

    Thank you for your kind words. Much appreciated! For vaginal mucous discharge, I recommend the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. However, it is best to perform the FULL BODY DETOX first then the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. After your cleanses, make sure you take YONI FORMULA daily. Read some of our free health articles too!

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    A:

    The heart failure is only permanent if you guys (especially your sister) BELIEVE so! What is believed is achieved! It's nothing but medical BS if you ask me!

    To CURE her heart condition, I would suggest she:

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    3. After the FBD, she needs to take CARDIOVASCULAR Formula (3 capsules 2 times daily), CIRCUL-AID formula (3 capsules once daily), and BOWEL MOVER (3 capsules before bed every night).

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    Q: I've come to your website many times in the past few days and I would like to start ordering some products to begin detoxing my body and to rid my system of the herpes simplex virus and any other std that may be lingering within. I was diagnosed with this virus on 12/5, but since then I have been given amoxicillin by the doctor. After doing some research, I bought some Olive Leaf Extract, L-Lysine and Echinacea with goldenseal. I feel a lot better, especially since I began to stop eating certain foods, like cheese, pork, peanuts and chocolate. I've also been maintaining a positive attitude and believing that I will be free of this virus. I am extremely interested in starting a cleansing ritual beginning at the end of the month, but at current, I would just like to begin with a supplement you would recommend to cleanse my blood, my genital and vaginal area. Your recommendations will be deeply appreciated.

    A:

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    Q: Hi, I?m 26 years old male. I got genital herpes this summer 2007, the first outbreak was pretty itchy and painful a little, and now I got another small one. I have been reading your article and the power of mind and have been staying as positive as I can and also putting some aloe vera from the original leaf on the outbreak, and it is going away much quicker than the initial outbreak. However I am certain that I can completely get this so called incurable virus out of my system because it doesn?t make any sense to me that it would just lay there forever. Can you further guide me? I have ordered your Full Body Detox and the Anti Viral kit. You are really making a big impact on my life in a positive way and I am grateful to have found you. Just wanted to let you know that the thing I want to do the most is to become the best possible tennis player I can be.

    A:

    We are glad to hear of the impact we are having on you. We give thanks to you for sharing! We are here for you. You can ask your health inquiries free of charge via "Ask the Herbalist"

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    A:

    It's not a product alone that can help you. It's a message to you from your body. Knees denote RIGIDITY in life. You need to bend, go with the flow in life. Bend - be flexible!

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    Q: My mother has been complaining for the last 4 months about blisters that have been popping up all over her body. She says that the are small bumps that appear anywhere on her body from the back of her knee to her nose. She describes them as painful with pus and they last for about 2 days. When she went to the hellspital (hospital) they diagnosed them as hair bumps and gave her antibiotics, but the problem persists...I told her the best thing would be to detox..do you have any idea what this could be and what the best move would be for her?

    A:

    Adverse Skin conditions usually are toxic blood conditions.

    We recommend that she detoxes and use our Oxy-Oil all over her body and take the Blood & Lymphatic Formula.

    Also, have her bathe daily in hot water with 1-2 boxes of sea salt and 1 cup of hydrogen peroxide added to the water. Have her soak in this solution for at least 1 hour.

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    Q: Hello, I’ve used your FULL BODY DETOX, and continue to do so several times a year...It's amazing, thank you. I just read your March Newsletter and the "Question of the Month" was about head injuries & looking at your recommendations ( NERVES FORMULA, CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM FORMULA, etc.), I'd like to know if this is something you would recommend for my brother. He recently had his second stroke about 7 months ago, lives in Dominican Republic, isn't getting the proper care and therapy, due to financial reasons. After the 1st stroke he was doing well, walking with a limp, didn't have use of his right arm, partial use of right leg, was learning to talk again. He progressed a lot. After the 2nd stroke he was bed-ridden, wearing diapers, couldn't swallow he was like a baby again. Now he's saying words, he's walking with a cane (very slowly); he's going to the bathroom on his own. He's slowly progressing. I live in CA & I was in Dominican Republic this past Christmas. It breaks my heart to see my brother this way. He's only 48 yrs old. I'd love to send him your products if they would help & not interferre with any medications he's taking. High Blood Pressure & Heart Disease run in my family. I strongly believe in your products, and at this point my brother needs a miracle. We stay positive. Another brother of mine takes care of him & is very positive. I have faith that he can heal quicker and enjoy life for many more years. So please advise what you'd recommend. Thank you so much for your time. Peace & Blessings

    A:

    Our products will greatly help your brother but they will interfere with the medication that will cause more strokes in your brother because all medications are poisons - PERIOD! Herbs will fight against those poisons so as to heal him. Should you choose herbs from Dherbs, I recommend CEREBRAL-VASCULAR FORMULA, CIRCUL-AID FORMULA, VEINS FORMULA, and CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM FORMULA. There is healing for your brother!

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    Q: I recently ordered the Female Package as well as the Fibroid buster. While I trust your company and its products, I realize that everyone is different and I feel the need to address an issue. I have been doing some research that gave me warnings against red clover, stating that it is an herb that can actually stimulate estrogen receptor positive breast cancer cells to grow. While I have no reason to believe that I have positive BC cells in my body, I would like to take every possible precaution to assure I am doing the right things. I have taken every measure to eliminate pharmaceutical, and xenoestrogens from my life in an attempt to rebalance my hormones naturally. I have been diagnosed with uterine fibroids as well as estrogen dominance so this issue is definitely a concern for me. I have listed the link below with the source of this information. I would love to hear your thoughts on this matter.

    A:

    Continue to don't believe the hype! Herbs are benevolent foods and help you, not hurt you. Red Clover is the best herb available as the most natural source of beneficial bio-organic and available female estrogen hormone -- THE BEST! Therefore, I highly recommend Red Clover for females for every female complaint and/or to maintain female health. This herb is noble. In re fibroid tumors, we are introducing our NEW 3-Wekk Fibroid Buster Kit and Regimen to expedite the healing process of uterine-ovarian-cervical tumors and cysts. I highly recommend this kit. However, right now I would recommend the Fibroid Buster formula and Moon Cycle formula in addition to the female health tea. Your estrogen dominance is due to UN-NATURAL hormone, not natural hormone -- so needed to worry about natural sources of hormone (from herbs). Stay positive, believe in the best (especially for yourself), stay focused (on your healing), keep a positive attitude about your state of being (attitude about self), and live righteously and success in all ways is yours. There is help for you, Beloved! Read some of our health articles pertaining to female reproductive health issues. You'll find them interesting! Thank you for your interest in Dherbs.Com

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    Q: I am writing in hopes of some spiritual guidance, and direction for a very close friend. My friend has been clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. He also battles with, suicidal thoughts, and evil spirits. He lives a pretty normal life to outsiders, but internally he is extremely unstable. He has a psychologist, and he is caught up in the medicine of the western world. He is aware of the causes of his mental illnesses, but he is unsatisfied with his current condition, He is longing for healing, and he believes that it can be done. He feels that he is alone because nobody understands what he is going through. He is a very spiritual person, but there are many demons attached to his spirit, and he is trying hard to fight them off. Unfortunately he is coping in all the wrong ways. He is trying to manage, and maintain with these diseases, which is only causing him to sink into a greater depression. What do you recommend?

    A:

    By all means visit our Articles section, and read articles concerning, many of the things your friend is experiencing. Have the person read my "Suicide" article as well as my "Bi-Polar" article. I also recommend the "Mental Science Manual." There's much information for this person at Dherbs.com!

    Articles:
    Suicide
    Bi-Polar Disorder

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual

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    Q: I have been going through having anxiety now for 1year in 3months and nothing seems to help me live my normal life, which I had. My doctor wants me to keep taking anti depressant but I don't like how they make me feel (try over 5 different ones) plus an anti anxiety medicine. I seen a natural path doctor and before and took a couple different things but it didn't help any. I detox my body twice one with the natural path doctor and the Martha’s Vineyard Diet Detox.

    A:

    THERE'S HELP FOR YOU, BELOVED! STAY POSITIVE! GIVE OUR FULL BODY DETOX A TRY! DO THIS FIRST! AFTER THE DETOX, TAKE AS A DAILY REGIMEN: BRAIN TUNER, NERVES FORMULA, AND ELATION INSPIRANT READ OUR FREE ARTICLES TOO! MANY ARE VERY INSPIRATIONAL AND MOTIVATION.