How To Handle The Holidays After The Loss Of A Loved One

A young woman is standing by the french doors in her house and is looking out at the rain

I am no stranger to loss. I lost my best friend when I was a sophomore in high school, my baby when I was three and a half months pregnant, my dad in 1999, and my mom four years ago.

Though my case might be extreme, let’s face it: By the time we reach the midcentury mark, most of us aren’t strangers to the loss of a loved one. So how do we deal with our grief during times like the holidays — a period that’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year”?

am no stranger to loss. I lost my best friend when I was a sophomore in high school, my baby when I was three and a half months pregnant, my dad in 1999, and my mom four years ago.

Though my case might be extreme, let’s face it: By the time we reach the midcentury mark, most of us aren’t strangers to the loss of a loved one. So how do we deal with our grief during times like the holidays — a period that’s supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year”?

During a time of togetherness and social gatherings, a sound, a holiday decoration, or a family ritual might trigger one’s memories of a loved one who has passed away. A flood of emotions might overwhelm some of us, and our hearts might sink as we’re overrun with sadness.

My father died on December 10, 1999, and his unexpected passing actually brought my family together that holiday season. We were all in a state of shock over losing him, but at the same time we shared gratitude for lives still lived and loved ones still here.

Here are five things that helped us overcome the grief of that holiday season. May they help you do the same:

1. Remember that each family member might cope differently.

We all have unique ways of handling grief. Remaining sensitive to how other members of your family are dealing with the situation, while also caring for your own needs, can help your time together go more smoothly.

While this can be difficult with all the distinct personalities in every family, the more we can see the humanness in one another, the more we can allow space for others to grieve in their own way — even if it’s totally different from ours.

2. Set aside some time to do something in remembrance of your loved one.

Write them a letter, share their memory with others, or do something that you used to do together. My two daughters and I have made chocolate pecan pies — a pie that my mom baked for the holidays — every year since her passing. It’s a sweet reminder of her love for baking and the joy she derived from sharing good food with others.

3. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, whether it is joy, anger, or sadness.

I remember feeling great sadness after my father’s passing that December, but I also remember laughter as my family and I shared stories and experiences with one another. We felt gratitude for the ability to be together to authentically remember him.

4. Create a new ritual or tradition in honor of your lost loved one.

Light a candle, write a poem, or have a moment of silence. My father was a handyman who could make anything with his hands. One year, he crafted a wooden star complete with lights that my parents then hung outside their home each holiday season. When my father passed away, my mother gave the star to my family, and every year since we have placed it high in a tree in our front yard. It has become not only a wonderful ritual for my family but for other families in the neighborhood as well.

The star is highly visible on our street, and many of our friends look forward to seeing it welcoming them home for the holidays each year. This, too, is a wonderful tribute to my father; a man who spent so much of his time acting as a light to others.

5. Be kind to yourself.

Get some exercise, write in a journal, take a long bath, or treat yourself to something special like a massage. My self-care routine involved long walks alone in nature, where my feelings could move through me freely and I didn’t have to worry about how they might appear to others. Nature allows us to be ourselves, creates a space for healing, and nourishes us with her energy when we are weary.

We can control how we process our loss. Do we become closed down or do we move forward with an open heart? Do we feel the pain and move through it to become whole again?

When I look back on the challenges and losses I have faced in my life, I know that they have all made me who I am today, in this moment. I have grown in ways I could not have imagined, and my heart is filled with gratitude for being able to share this life with the loved ones who have gone on before me.

2016-01-11T15:30:25+00:00

Related Questions

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: First off, I want to say that I am TRULY grateful for the work that you are doing. Words cannot convey my sincere gratitude. I will continue to tell my loved ones about the wonderful products, services, and information that you provide. I read your article on ADD/ADHD and was deeply saddened by the harm that is being done to our children. A very dear friend of mine has an 11 year old son that was diagnosed and is currently on medication for this so called condition. I have a 5 year old daughter who just started kindergarten. My daughter is HIGHLY sensitive and gets her feelings hurt very easily. She had two melt downs in class the first week of school. When she was 3 years old, a psychiatrist who was observing her behavior, told me that she thought she may be ADD/ADHD but I did not receive it. My question is how do we, as parents, who are still working in the matrix, educate our children. As a single mom, I do not currently possess the luxury to home-school my daughter and at the same time, I am not pleased with the public school (fool) system, or even private school that still follows the same guidelines and curriculum. Any suggestions?

    A:

    You EDUCATE your children by living TRUTH, being the example of righteous living, personal responsibility, personal accountability, integrity, morals, ethics, etc. BE ABOUT IT! Children learn by watching and then emulating! LIVE IT! The examples from home are stronger than what's learned at school and your child admires you more than any other person. Thank you kindly for your words which are greatly appreciated, Beloved. Thank you so much!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Re: Daily Regimen for Weight Loss, Inflammation, and Staying Regular. Hello, I used the full detox and loved it. I lost 15 lbs and would like to continue using something natural to help with the weight loss. Also, quite honestly I loved the ease of the bm's. Even before I began the detox, I have limited my carb intake and it is almost painful to go to the bathroom now and laxatives can be very harsh on the stomach. So, if you could please recommend a daily regimen of dherbs that I can take that would be greatly appreciated. By the way - though I enjoyed the healthy regimen, I can not do salads everyday so don't even suggest it! LOL Thank You! Weight Loss Inflamation

    A: Congrats on your success with the cleanse, we're happy to hear that you enjoyed it. If you're looking to stop inflammation within the body, continue to recondition your bowels and lose additional weight it would be best for you to cleanse again. It's safe to do the cleanses back to back. A lot of foods contribute inflammation and not being regular in regards to the bowels. If you keep a balanced diet you'll be able to achieve your goals. Raw food doesn't just mean salads. The main purpose for the raw food diet was to benefit from the foods and to give your body a break from the foods it’s accustom to. You’re giving your body everything that it NEEDS. Most people are successful with the cleanse and the diet when you open yourself up to the change. The diet was not intended to be a challenge, it's to benefit from live foods that help your body. If you decide to cleanse again, we suggest embracing the diet and trying new types of raw meals.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My question is about hair loss. I am a 45 year old African American female. I started losing my hair about 15 years ago. I specifically remember unusual symptoms before it started to fall out. First, my entire scalp had a burning sensation, and it was very tender to the touch. It was very difficult to brush, comb and wash. Then after that, I am not sure how much longer after, but a dry patch of skin developed toward the back of my head (approximately 1 inch in diameter). I was able to peel it off and pull it through the strains of hair (very weird). That happened a couple of times and not too long after that, my hair started to fall out in large amounts for a fairly long period of time. At the moment I would say that I am mostly bald with hair mostly around the edges. Also I would like to mention that hair started to grow on my chest BUT I started to lose hair in my vaginal area. Sorry if some of this sounds sketchy but it's been 15 years!! I will try to give you a little bit of my history. I am 5'8" and 135lbs. I would say that for the most part, I have been an athlete all my life. My menses were very irregular sometimes and/or absent for long periods of time. When my menses were present, I had very bad cramps and clotting. My menses are now very regular and I hardly have any cramps, my flow is light and very little clotting. I would have to say that it is now a pleasure to have my "period". This also might be a result from switching my diet to a vegetarian diet. I have been a vegetarian for about 16 years. I would say 20% is dairy, but after reading your articles, I am trying my best to become vegan, hopefully even a raw foodist. I also eat tofu. I have never had hair problems growing up. I did get relaxers, but only twice a year. I have had my appendix removed when I was in elementary school. My bowel movements are usually once a day. (I know it needs to be 3.) So anyway, I have been to a couple of medical doctors to no avail, so now I am coming to you. I just received the following products from your company today (10-06-08). I am looking forward to using them. - MSM SULFUR - ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD - COLON FORMULA - HEALING HERBAL TOOTH POWDER - HAIR OIL One last note: I have had maybe one cold in the last 3 years. I can't remember the last time I had the flu. So thank the Lord, my health has been pretty good. Thank you for reading about my situation and hopefully you can shed some light on what is going on with my body.

    A:

    Have you read the 2 health articles on hair ("HAIR PROBLEMS" and "BLACK HAIR, NAPPY HAIR")? If not, please read these articles for remedy and recourse. Also, read our article "SKIN DISORDER = BLOOD DISORDER"."

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: This will be the first time my family and I have undertaken any form of cleansing. It will be the first of more to come throughout the year; but my question is which one do we start off with? The cleanse or the detox? Also, if you could recommend the specific children's products I would need for a three, five and ten year old I would appreciate it.

    A:

    You would start out with the FULL BODY DETOX. It's the catalyst kit/cleanser! Children would start off performing the CHILDREN DETOX (liquid extracts) . I hope this information suffices your inquiry!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I recommend this site to all because it has helped me in so many ways, that I was hoping it may be of help to my 11 year old niece. She is really shy towards others, even at school. To the point where last year, it started affecting her school work. Because, at school you have to interact with others, as well as participate in class. At home with family she's active, sociable, and lot's of fun. When she gets around others she shuts down, believe it or not. I was talking with her mother, my sister and she realized that we was that same way aswell growing up. I don't want her to go through life like that, if there is a way to help her. My sister mentioned pills. Since I have found your site there is no way that I'll have her popping man made pills, when there are herbs that are safe. Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated. I know they have tea I saw for adults (Stress/Anxiety), but for kids I wasn't sure. I need something that will definately work. Thanks for all you do, and look forward to hearing from you.

    A:

    It's probably just a personality thing. However, it's not a sickness. It's more astrological, and personal essence than anything. I would suggest that the child have its natal chart and numerology chart done. Everything about the child is written "In the Wheel."

    Product Links:
    Natal Chart
    Numerology Chart

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I recently completed the Full Body Detox, which I loved. Now, 2 months later, I am very interested in the weight release program. Last year, I lost 40 lbs in 8 months, in the most healthy way (good nutrition and exercise). This year, I slowly started gaining weight back, and 1 year later, I continue to gain weight much more quickly. I am still working out regularly, and eating well. Would you recommend the Weight Release Kit? I am looking to take off 20 lbs at the most. Is that realistic for this formula? However, I want to build muscle and strength as well. Can I maintain the results of the program with the directed nutrition plan, and add white meat for protein (chicken, turkey, tuna). I am also wondering if the formulas simply release excess weight, or can I expect to lose inches and lower my body fat percentage? Thanks for your time and dedication to natural health!

    A:

    Glad to hear about your success with the Full Body Detox!

    I would highly recommend the Weight Release Kit and Regimen. NO MEAT though! Try vegan alternatives if you must have something - but no meats!

    You will release weight (waste)! Your weight is nothing but waste!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Greetings, I wanted to first say thanks for all of the great advice you have given me over the past couple of months. On Tuesday my husband and I welcomed our second daughter into the world. We had a natural birth with a midwife, and it was the best experience ever! So, you know I have a question for you. My midwife, and pediatrician are worried, and preplexed because my daughter who was born on Tuesday has not had a bowel movement yet. She has not passed any meconium at all, and from what I've read newborns are supposed to pass this within 24 hours after birth. I was full term at 40 weeks at the time of delivery. The baby had a full ultrasound today, and I am waiting to hear the results. We are keeping a positive outlook, but you know I had to get your take on the situation because I trust your judgement and advice. I've also sent you a few photos of my family and our new baby girl. Take care and the best to you and your family.

    A:

    Greetings! Wow! Adorable, precious little baby. Kudos to you and the family! Beloved, trust in Nature. Every body, and every baby is different. The baby will release when he/she is ready to release. My recent son didn't release until 2-3 days later. However, he eventually released. Babies are not on our worldly time schedule. We shouldn't hold them to our worldly expectations, because then we start to think something is wrong (with them), and start worrying which is unhealthy. Just show the love! That's it! Nature got this!!! I have a new e-book "The Complete Home-Birth Guidebook" you will find of great assistance with your post-natal process and period. Great information for you in it! Peace and love!

    Product links:
    The Complete Home Birth Guidebook

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I'm having a little hard time building a relationship with my lady's 6 year-old daughter. She's sweet, the only child (for now), and has her father in her life. I don't want to be her dad, but I do want her to respect me. I intend to marry this lady, and I will be the father figure in our house.

    A:

    Just focus on things you appreciate about the child. Stop judging her relationship with her mother. Find a perspective about her that feels good. Respect her, and give her space to warm up to you at her own pace. It will happen

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hello, this is my 2nd time doing the full body cleanse. I did it last year so now I'm doing it again. I started on Monday 3/9 and since have lost 5 lbs. Is that normal? Also why do you recommend Distilled water and not Spring and/or filtered (Brita). I have always drank a lot of water but roughly how many times a day should I urinate and how many times a day should I make a BM? When I did it the first time last year it was late Spring early Summer and incorporated a lot of walking which helped out a lot. This time not so much due to the horrible NY weather. I would appreciate you answering my questions and getting back to me at your earliest convenience. Thanks

    A: Everyone's body is different and responds to the regimen differently. Losing 5 pounds in days is okay. Distilled water is the best type of water that helps to detox the body. You should be drinking half your body weight in water. Anything you put into your body you can expect it to come out. Bowel movements and urination is directly related to the foods and beverages you're consuming. Be sure that you're consuming three regular meals a day; eating fruits and vegetables with fiber.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hello. This is my first time emailing you. I am a 24 year old African American female. I have a younger sister who is 17. She has had health issues every since I can remember. As a baby she had asthma but grew out of it. She has also suffered from allergies to things such as pollen and ragweed as well. But at the age of 9 she woke up one morning totally unable to move and her joints appeared swollen and red. She has never been diagnosed with anything but the symptoms have been treated with an array of different drugs. As time progressed she would randomly continue to get joint swelling and stiffness in her arms legs and hips. Doctors have tested her for lupus and arthritis and test results still say she has none of the above. She suffers also from periodic urinary tract infections, ulcerations of the mouth and fatigue. She recently was told that she was suffering also from a stomach emptying disorder and her body was having a difficult time absorbing nutrients. Just this week she had extreme pain in her upper abdomen and the doctor said it was an enlarged spleen. They did blood work and it turns out that her pancreas levels are off the charts. I kind of hopped all over the place and I left a lot of things out. But do you have any clue what may be going on or what she could do to help her improve her overall quality of life and finally be pain free? I also left out that recently she has started losing hearing in her left ear. What does this all mean?

    A:

    Please consider scheduling a 1-hour health consultation (only $100) so as to get at the root of all these problems. She's too young to be going through all of this. Time just won't allow for a detailed written response here. However, I will suggest she perform the FULL BODY DETOX as she sounds pretty toxic. It's good she may start at a young to better her health. She doesn't have to suffer!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I am writing you with concern for my father. He is 54 years old, and was just diagnosed with an enlarged heart. He is very worried, and to be honest I am too. I told him that he immediately needs to go on the Full Body Detox. Start a raw foods diet that includes no meats, and no dairy. Do you think he should get a colonic? Should he get it first? He began running this morning, and has been walking in the evenings. He has a HUGE stomach. It looks as if he is about 8 months pregnant. SOLID! We live in the Philadelphia Area and we are Muslim. The only person we know that is GOOD as far as colonics is a female, and he has some reservations about that. My mother always says "Do what you gotta do". What steps should he take to heal his body? In what order? I know it may be kind of hard to diagnose, or give steps to a third person. I am really concerned, and afraid that his concern may cause more damage to his heart. I am almost certain that my father would not mind talking to you. He may be impressed with your knowledge. All the herbalist we know thus far have been women. As soon as he told us of his illness I immediately thought of you. I pray that you can help us. We all as a family need to get our health together. PLEASE HELP US the best way you can. . . . .

    A:

    It's the easiest thing to take care of. Detox the body with the Full Body Detox followed by the 10-Day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse. He will drink Hearty Heart tea during both cleanses. The man has eaten himself into this condition via poor diet so reversed diet is the way out. More raw foods (fruits and vegetable), vegetable juice.

    Product Links:
    Full Body Detox
    10-Day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse
    Hearty Heart Tea

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi Dherbs.com, I'm 17 and I'm from west Africa, I am Aquarius. I really like your medicine and advice, it reminds me of Africa! I have a heavy computer that I use for college, and it's about 3 Kgs. I also lost about 15 Kgs (65-50 kgs for 1.60m) in 1 year in Europe, and I would like to know what may cause it. my back really hurts, I try to be as healthy as possible, I'm turning vegan, I've stopped everything but dairy and, because it's everywhere and I don't have time to cook for myself every day. I also have problems at school, it's too hard to study, I always feel tired, and I've got problems with family, they want me to keep on studying things I don't like. How could you help me ? Thanks a lot and keep on doing your job, it's great!

    A:

    Back problems also have an emotional cause. Are you bending over backwards for somebody or something? Do you feel that your back is against the wall in some regard or matter? Turning vegan is a good idea and should really improve your health. Have you read our article "DANGEROUS DAIRY" Now as far as your family wanting you to do things you don't want to do, you need to follow your heart and do you. Always be true to yourself. It's the only way magic can happen or occur.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I just finished the Full Body Detox. I loved it and felt great the whole time. Ever since I stopped the herbs a few days ago I have been very gassy in my stomach. I eat very healthy and have continued to eat very basic and natural foods the past few days. Is there any reason why I would be feeling this way?

    A:

    The body is attempting to naturally regulate itself absent the herbs. Take CARBON and take 3 capsules of ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD daily. The situation will soon pass. Your body is regulating itself. That's all! Drink plenty of water daily too!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi Dherbs.com, My question is regarding fibroids. I have been told I have had fibroids about the size of someone 3 months pregnant. I have been told there are two in clusters. They gave me the diameters, but I don't have that information at this time. My OB/GYN has told me he believes it is causing me to be slightly anemic. I have been trying some remedies on my own like more exercise and a change in diet. My primary physician does not recommend surgery she has me taking iron ferrous sulfate supplements twice per day to help with my iron count. It seems to be helping. The only problem I have with taking the iron supplements is that it sometimes causes constipation and I am normally pretty regular. I usually eliminate 2 times per day sometimes 3. My OB/GYN on the other hand keeps pushing for me to having surgery. They had me take BC pills, however I took myself off of them because they made me sick. I took them only for 6 months. I'm 45 and have never taken BC pills ever and I don't want to start now. I've never been pregnant. I flow heavy on my 2nd and 3rd day heavy and after that it is manageable. My cycle has improved however I want to reduce the flow on those days if possible and of course dissolve the fibroid if at all possible. Doctors tell me they won't go away unless removed. I used to be on my cycle for 7 days and 4 of those days were heavy. Now I'm normally on for 4 days and only the 2nd and 3rd day are heavy. I know that as I reach menopause they may shrink in size, however I'm still always off from that. I eat no red meat however I do eat fish and poultry. I eat a pretty good balance of vegetables and fruits, mostly raw and steamed. I drink lactaid milk. I don't eat much dairy except cheese and eggs occasionally. I do have a weakness, I love potato chips. I know this is not good. I can feel the fibroid get bigger when I eat them. When I stop for a period of time it decreases in size. At least I feel like it does. I'm not a sugar craver, however during the week before my cycle I'll crave sweets. I usually resist. I feel it's my diet that has caused the fibroids as well as every female in my family has had a hysterectomy due to fibroids. I think it is also hereditary as well. Whatever the case I'd like to know what regimen can you put me on that will help me? The goal is to reduce or dissolve the size of the fibroid so it is not affecting my iron level. I'm also starting to see my abdomen get bigger when I've always had a flat stomach. Perhaps this is me just getting older, however I think it's the fibroids. Constant low levels over time can't be good. I hope I have provided you enough information to give me your recommendation. If not please feel free to e-mail me for any additional information you need. I'm looking for a natural cure. Outside of this condition I'm in very good health. No problem with weight, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. I'm pretty athletic and active as well. Please advise. I look forward to your recommendation. Also, how much per month will these products cost and how many months do the kits last? How do you recommend I buy them? By kit or individual? Thank you for your time!

    A:

    I recommend you perform the FULL BODY DETOX kit followed by the FIBRIOD BUSTER CLEANSE AND REGIME. Perform them back to back. Take a break for about a month and perform both of them again. Six weeks on and six weeks off. While your off of these 2 kits, take individual formulas of IRON PHOSPHATE FORMULA, FIBRIOD BUSTER, and MOON CYCLE FORMULA. In re iron, you are taking POISON! The kind of iron you are taking is poisonous and mixes with sulfur in your body which creates constipation. I suggest Dherbs IRON PHOSPHATE FORMULA which is 100% all-natural with absolutely no adverse side effects! Also, you have to improve your diet. Nothing greatly causes fibroids than DAIRY PRODUCTS! The meat, potato chips, dairy, etc. is filling up your trashbags (tumors). Go VEGAN and RAW FOODS! Start reading some of our free health articles, i.e. â€FIBROID TUMORSâ€, â€WHAT IS RAW FOODSâ€, etc. Dherbs products can greatly help you and you'll see and/or feel the difference (as long as you don't cheat on your diet). There is much help for you!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My 14 year old cousin's mom has checked her into to mental hospital. This entire school year she has ben dealing with alot going into high school, and other teen age issues. Her birth father is not in the home but, her mom has a pretty good man, that steps up, and does a good job with her two children. However, she has been battling with her weight, although she wasn't over weight she didn't feel thin enough like the other children at her school. Her mom found Hydroxycut in her room, and all hair feel out. This past weekend went to her mom's boyfriend and told him she tried to overdose on pills to kill herself, because of all the pressure. Her mom had her in therapy behind the weightloss issue, she thought she was ok, until this last suicidal mission. Is there any help or advice you can render. I told her mom that the hospital thing was a horrible idea due to the medication that they will be administering and other brain washing methods they use to further F*** you up so that when you are release you a labeled, and sure to be crazy. D-Herbs at 14 this is insane, her mom has given up hope, and gave her chiild into the hands of the enemy. I am conscious and try to talk to her but it doesn't seem to work.

    A:

    That's an unfortunate situation. Have the mother read the information on Dherbs.com or schedule a consultation so she can speak with me live and direct. These are the only ways I know to help, Beloved. I'm also about to write an article on DEPRESSION, and the DANGERS OF ANTIDEPRESSANTS. Hang in there and know that your cousin wrote her own life script (before she was born), so she is gaining an experience so as to learn a life lesson for her soul's purpose. It doesn't make sense on a lower level, but on a higher level, it all will add up and make sense. God's hand is over everything, even those things that appear bad.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My question is regarding fibroids. I have been told I have had fibroids about the size of someone 3 months pregnant. I have been told there are two in clusters. They gave me the diameters, but I don't have that information at this time. My OB/GYN has told me he believes it is causing me to be slightly anemic. I have been trying some remedies on my own like more exercise and a change in diet. My primary physician does not recommend surgery she has me taking iron ferrous sulfate supplements twice per day to help with my iron count. It seems to be helping. The only problem I have with taking the iron supplements is that it sometimes causes constipation and I am normally pretty regular. I usually eliminate 2 times per day sometimes 3. My OB/GYN on the other hand keeps pushing for me to having surgery.& amp; nbsp; They had me take BC pills, however I took myself off of them because they made me sick. I took them only for 6 months. I'm 45 and have never taken BC pills ever and I don't want to start now. I've never been pregnant. I flow heavy on my 2nd and 3rd day heavy and after that it is manageable. My cycle has improved however I want to reduce the flow on those days if possible and of course dissolve the fibroid if at all possible. Doctors tell me they won't go away unless removed. I used to be on my cycle for 7 days and 4 of those days were heavy. Now I'm normally on for 4 days and only the 2nd and 3rd day are heavy. I know that as I reach menopause they may shrink in size, however I'm still aways off from that. I eat no red meat however I do eat fish and poultry. I eat a pretty good balance of vegetables and fruits, mostly raw and steamed. I drink lactaid milk. I don't eat much dairy except cheese and eggs occasionally. I do have a weakness, I love potato chips. I know this is not good. I can feel the fibroid get bigger when I eat them. When I stop for a period of time it decreases in size. At least I feel like it does. I'm not a sugar craver, however during the week before my cycle I'll crave sweets. I usually resist. I feel it's my diet that has caused the fibroids as well as every female in my family has had a hysterectomy due to fibroids. I think it is also hereditary as well. Whatever the case I'd like to know what regimen can you put me on that will help me? The goal is to reduce or dissolve the size of the fibroid so it is not affecting my iron level. I'm also starting to see my abdomen get bigger when I've always had a flat stomach. Perhaps this is me just getting older, however I think it's the fibroids. Constant low levels over time can't be good. I hope I have provided you enough information to give me your recommendation. If not please feel free to e-mail me for any additional information you need. I'm looking for a natural cure. Outside of this condition I'm in very good health. No problem with weight, high blood pressure or high cholesterol. I'm pretty athletic and active as well. Please advise. I look forward to your recommendation.

    A:

    I remember just recently e-mailing you on this inquiry. Your diet MUST CHANGE! Consider full fledged RAW FOODS and VEGAN diet during your healing transition. Lactaid milk is HORRIBLE for you. Did you read our â€FIBROID TUMORS†article?????? You need to keep on performing FULL BODY DETOX followed by Fibroid Buster kit and regimen, back to back! Continuously! Detoxing must become a lifestyle for you! For iron, consider Dherbs.Com IRON PHOSPHATE FORMULA and MOON CYCLE FORMULA. Also, consider a telephone consultation because time is greatly limited in writing back in response to inquiries. There is much healing for you, Beloved!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My question however, is about my son. I have an 11 year old who has been diagnosed with high-functioning autism. He has problems staying focused. Health-wise he often suffers from respiratory issues. He breathes heavy, is constantly congested, and snores. My son has been on Risperdal for about 6 months for his autism symptoms. This medication has caused my son to gain over 40 pounds within an 8 month period of time. I really want to wean my child off of this drug, obviously because of the potential harm it will do to his overall health. We have a family history of diabetes and this worries me. My son is also very sluggish and has a problem with constipation. The doctor once did an x-ray and said he was very "backed up". She prescribed a laxative, but this did not work. Can you tell me what you would recommend?

    A:

    At some point you will really have to decide to go drugless in helping your son as drugs don't heal anything that God created. That drug he's taking that made him gain 40 pounds sounds like a steroid (which usually adds weight on to the body). I would recommend that the child performs the CHILDREN DETOX (liquid extracts) to cleanse his body and then begin consuming our teas (i.e. BRAIN TUNER), KHEMETIAN GOLD, and Crystal Elixirs to help with his ADD. Our ADD tonic will be out in late November or early December 2008. Why worry about diabetes when he does not have it at present? You are thinking the worst into existence with your thoughts. What you fear will appear! Think positive and thus attract only positive in your life.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Happy New Year to You and yours!!! My son is three years old; he was born December 12, 2004, this was a Sunday. Ever since he started talking he's had a fascination with the light and light bulbs. He looks up and says "mom look, the light is beautiful" or "mom see the beautiful light bulb". I look at it and I usually say yes it is beautiful Jordan. However, I do not see what he sees nor do I understand the attraction. When he was two weeks old I took him with me to Olive May and the old wise woman there saw him and asked me to bring him to her. When she looked at him she said "he is indigo--he is like sunshine when he enters a room and people will be drawn to him." So far the part about people being drawn to him has manifest true. What do you think of the attraction/fascination to the lights? Also, I read that awesome article on birthmarks!! I don't have one, however, my son has one on his buttock; I don't remember which one at the moment. His primary pediatrician called it a mongolian spot..what do you say?? Does it mean he will fall and hurt himself or has fallen?? Looking forward to seeing you in March. Love, Peace and Blessings.

    A:

    You son is most definitely an INDIGO CHILD (specifically a CRYSTAL or RAINBOW CHILD manifesting all 7 spectrums of color of the Rainbow). His preoccupation with lights could denote many things. For one, he is Light himself (light-worker). It could be that he still remembers the Light before re-incarnating this time around. We all eventually move into the Light in order to move on. Mongolian spot? A very negative term! Buttocks denote an injury that occured on that area in a past life. Birthmarks don't mean something adverse will happen to you in this lifetime where your birthmark is. It doesn't mean this at all. Just be open to experience and learn from and with your child. Live in the moment and just be open!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I'm a 38-year-old male who has been suffering with Atrial Fibrillation for 3 years. Up until the age of 35 I never had any real illness that had any caused for concern, and then out of the blue I have a heart related issue. My Doctor has never given me a cause of where this came from and all the research I've done on my own turns up the same. The answers the doctor gave (caffeine, alcohol, and so on) I've never really used any of those things excessively. My eating habits up until that time where not that great and I was about 100lbs over weight. I've lost 85lbs since, and also have giving up all meats. Also I had Cath. Ablation surgery for the A-Fib. It's been 3 months since surgery and I'm now off of the Coumadin they had me taking. I'm not sure if the surgery was a total success, I've not had an attack since New Year’s Day 2008. But I'm still not feeling back to my old self. I've been having some very weird feelings of nausea, tension, constipation, and tiredness, headaches, etc. When I do go to the doctor they tell me that everything looks fine and that I may be a bit stressed and suffering from anxiety. I'm writing to you in hopes that you may be able to guide me to the right path to healing and returning to living somewhat normal life again.

    A:

    WITHOUT A QUESTION THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU TO BEGIN YOUR NATURAL HEALING JOURNEY IS WITH THE Full Body Detox. AND BECAUSE YOU TOOK THE DANGEROUS “COUMADINâ€, YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEANSE YOUR BODY OUT. THIS CLEANSE WILL HELP YOUR HEART TO RECOVER AS WELL.