How To Heal From Heartbreak & Conquer Your Fear Of Abandonment

Lonely woman on bench in park

“How could he just disappear like that? He promised to marry me,” my client said, as she wiped her tears. Most of us are familiar with betrayal. Partners, friends, and even family members can make a commitment and then disappear.

I had a very close, longtime friend, and eventually our relationship extended into work. I became part of her business team. She constantly made commitments and broke them on a whim. I often ignored it, justifying that maybe she was keeping the bigger picture in mind.

One day, our work relationship ended, with no warning on my end. I confronted her about the broken commitments. She insisted it was all in my head and continued to assure me that she would be there as a friend, no matter what. And then she stopped responding.

When people with whom we share a deep bond with disappear, the immediate reaction is confusion and doubt. We start questioning where we went wrong and whether we should continue to pursue the relationship. Left unexplored, these thoughts can fester into anger, depression, and resentment in the long run.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. Here are the strategies I’ve learned to employ when someone I care about pulls a disappearing act.

1. Don’t take it personally.

While relating this story to another friend, she laughed and said, “You, too?” That got me out of my head, reminding me this happens to everyone. Rejection hurts, but it often has nothing to do with our how worthy of love we are. People’s behavior is a reflection of their own beliefs, values, feelings, and thought patterns. When we personalize their behavior, we start to spiral into self-blame and unworthiness. Viewing it as a choice made independently of your behavior or nature allows you to address it from an objective perspective.

2. Avoid the impulse to start thinking of them as “other.”

It’s very natural to want to develop a sense of otherness from people in your life. It’s differentiating them from you. But when we actively separate ourselves from people as a response to pain they’ve caused, we sacrifice our empathy for them. We can no longer relate to them.

On the other hand, identifying similarities between ourselves and others, we reconnect to our shared humanity. The Buddhist Loving-Kindness Meditation involves sending goodwill to ourselves and all those who have hurt us. As I began to practice this, saying “just like me, you want love,” I found a space where I could identify with and feel compassion for both myself and my friend.

3. Take responsibility.

Brené Brown said, “Love and belonging are irreducible needs of all men, women, and children. We’re hardwired for connection — it’s what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.” This very need is often ignored when we blame others and shrug off our own culpability.

Deep down, we just want love, and we get so afraid of losing that person that we ignore the reality of the situation. By owning what we did or did not do, we share the responsibility of creating that reality. This empowers us to make better choices in the future rather than just being a victim of someone else’s choices.

4. Focus on wholeness.

“What a jerk!” another friend remarked. “Don’t say that,” I squealed. “She’s really supported me, too.” My friend muttered something about me being crazy. But there’s logic to this. When relationships go sour, our bad moments become the focal point. In truth, there is good and bad in every relationship.

Acknowledge the hurtful events, but remember the laughter and joy, too. Seeing the whole picture neutralizes the negative and creates an equilibrium in our minds. It keeps us from stewing on old wounds and letting resentment grow.

5. Set an internal standard.

We all have to love and honor ourselves. That starts with recognizing our own values and acknowledging our priorities. If we don’t set internal standards for what we want and don’t want, what we will or won’t accept, we unconsciously give people permission to treat us according to their own standards. Once we set and enforce our own boundaries, people will treat us accordingly.

Clinging to memories, doubts, or questions about the people who have abandoned us won’t bring us peace. Certain questions might never be answered. The most loving thing you can do — for both the person who left and for yourself — is to move on. Moving on affirms your worth and your choice to treat yourself as you deserve to be treated.

2016-02-29T12:25:52+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

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    Q: I know you are an herbalist and I have read your articles on relationships, but I really need to discuss an issue with a conscious person like yourself. I have a friend who is a conscious brother, he made it known that he doesn't want to be in a relationship, claims he's to busy, but he is into having a spiritual sexual relationship(releasing energy he says on a spiritual level). My thought is that in order to connect with someone totally on a sexual level they should be a unit to experience this sacred sexual experience he refers to, otherwise to me it seems a very clever why to have sex without the commitment of being in a relationship. I would really appreciate your thoughts.

    A:

    Dudes can be so clever! He sounds like a Taurus! LOL!

    He's using spirituality to justify having sex with you. There's no spirituality with a casual sex partner. This practice is deep and creates serious energetic connections via the chakras. There's no connection without being a unit and having a commitment. My motto is: no sex absent love and commitment (unless both parties agree)! Hope this helps you out!

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    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

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    Q: Thank you so much for doing all that you do. I wish that you were in my everyday life...If I ever come to Cali, I hope to be able to take you up on some of your services. I have given your site out to many people that cross my paths...most recently, a man with diabetes who is going blind. He seemed to be quite thankful for your info...I do hope that he contacts you...and my friend who perhaps has a problem with a parasite(s). But me....okay just waiting for tax refund and then I will hit you up for another full-body detox...and perhaps a parasite kit myself...as it is sad but true..with my current boyfriend careless but kind...I now have a problem with genital herpes...a small breakout every other month...I eat well for the most part...ofcourse it could be better. But the stress is hish...I am working on that. But my question is...would an air purifier do me any good? You see I live in Dundalk, Maryland...near baltimore...near a Steel plant, and a yeast plant, and close to the military practice bombing sites, and other military negative stuff, and the city polluted with car pollution, tons of light pollution, and they spray for mosquitos...then I go to work and I work at a place called ABC Supply...great place right, well the stress is high, and the building we work in is shot...I swear there is mold under the carpets in one of the rooms...the ceiling is constantly leaking and we don't know what from...and the fumes from forklifts and the asphalt from the shingles...the filterfrom the intake gets changed like once a year...but is filled with 'shit' probably in a day or week. So the answer is to get a new job and move...yeah I know...I just don’t know how to do it...or where to go. Since I moved here, I have a problem with my ears...filling up with water or histimine or whatever...usually if I don't drink enough water near my menstrual cycle...I went to a doctor once and basically walked out of the office telling him what to do for his cold...yasee..he was no help...I knew more than him already....these past two years have been bad for allergies. Now, my ears and my throat...my nose too...though I do clean it out with water and that helps. I am not the only one. In the past two years there is a great number of people who say the same thing...they have never had a problem with allergies until these past two years. My grandmother and next door neighbor are two..but many more...well they just started up that steel mill again probably about that time...they sprayed hard core for mosquitos right before my grandmother started having problems...global warming for one...and i dont' know..but two years ago I was involved with a group of people sending out petitions against an LNG liquid natural gas plant that would bring in a ship two times the size of a football field and a huge pipe line to pennsylvania, and a skyscraper of a building to store the gas. Well...we fought against it...but apparently the gas company has more say than our own local government...I don't know...but hear about it every once in a while that they are still trying to get it built. So, an air purifier?? what do you think? Much Love and Health and Thanks!! Peace, RESPONSE: Thank you so very much for your words, Beloved. Much obliged from the heart!

    A:

    In regards to your question: Oh yes! By all means purchase an air purifier or an ozone machine (which will actually be best or better for you). Make sure you detox (FULL BODY DETOX) periodically, consume ACTIVATED CHARCOAL, and take plenty of IODINE PHOSPHATE as sea weed is great for neutralizing the effects of radiation.

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    Q: Thank you very much and you are right I do need to perform the FULL BODY DETOX and I am going to will the detox will it help my blood pressure go down and what do I do about the Meds I am on now I wrote you a while back my best friend was suffering from liver cancer he passed away 4/1/2008 and it really is a wakeup call for me I want to get my life in order I read everything I can on natural Meds I live in the IL. area do you know of any Doctors in my area I really love your web site it has a lot of good info on it I have passed it on to friend & family please keep up the great work you guys do and GOD bless you

    A:

    Unfortunately, I know of no doctors outside of California, my home state. Try contacting Karyn Calabrese. Do a Google search on her name and you should be able to get her contact info. She owns 2 restaurants in the Chicago area. She's an alternative health practitioner. I've been to her spot in Chicago.

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    Q: Peace and Love my Dear Friend! I have been managing thorough the healing process. I had my monthly checkup last week at Kaiser, I knew the blood count reading was going to be low because of the heavy bleeding. Well as it turns out it was so low Kaiser repeatedly called me to go to the nearest emergency room for a blood transfusion. I told them that I was not interested in a blood transfusion. I was told that I was risking a stroke or heart attack. I am concerned as I am experiencing weakness, headaches, and shortness of breath. I also took a pelvic ultrasound which showed two small fibroids remaining. I passed about 10 fibroids in the last three months. When we met, you mentioned your friend who beat breast cancer. You mentioned a oxygen therapy that she utilized where she had a needle inserted into the tumor containing a form oxygen. Can you get me some information on the oxygen therapy she used. You also mentioned a oxygen machine that you sell that would oxygenize drinking water. Any information you can provide me would be greatly appreciated.

    A:

    You don't need a blood transfusion, you need to build up your blood with herbs, i.e. NETTLE, YELLOW DOCK, BURDOCK, DANDELION, IRISH MOSS, etc. or Dherbs BLOOD & LYMPHATIC and/or IRON PHOSPHATE formula.

    Most of all DON'T WORRY because you're body will respond -- guaranteed! Doctors are always telling Black women this to get them to undergo surgery, blood transfusions, take poisonous iron pills, etc.

    In re stroke or heart attack caveat (warning), start taking herbs (drinking tea) of PERIWINKLE, HAWTHORNE BERRIES, GINGER, and CINNAMON immediately or Dherbs CARDIOVASCULAR and STROKE BUSTER formulas.

    In re headaches, herbs of WHITE WILLOW BARK, FEVERFEW, MEADOWSWEET, GINKO BILOBA or Dherbs HEADACHE formula.

    A chakra balancing may do you some good too right about now. I have a few openings for this Wednesday and Thursday if you are interested.

    I will contact Gennifer about the oxygen therapy procedure. I sell Ozone machines for $400 (which we don't advertise on the site). Oxygen will do you some good.

    START juicing with CELERY, APPLE, GINGER (just a little bit), BEET, and CARROT now!!!!!! This will help to build up the blood.

    Stay positive! You are releasing from the heart (emotions), but the shortness of breath denote your life force is low right now, the headache denotes resistance, the weakness denotes lack of strength (spiritually due to it being zapped by past and present life issues.

    Doctor visits may not be wise in the future. You'll only walk away with bad news that will create more worry on your mind which your body will respond to. You might as well go all herbal and natural.

    The two remaining fibroids are due to resistance, they fibroids are holding on as a sign that in some area of your life (emotionally) you're still holding on to something.

    Try to laugh! Think only of happy things. Think of things to feel good about! Lay down, listen to some good music (classical would be ideal). Go to the beach and bury your feet in the sand. Is romeo on the scene? Experience romance if he is! Love, live, laugh, lose, let go, luxuriate, etc.

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    Q: I have a friend who is diagnosed with cervical dysplasia, and she wants to treat it herbally, instead of with chemicals. What is the best root(s)to use for this diagnosis? She is twenty three years of age.

    A:

    I recommend she perform the FULL BODY DETOX followed by the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE kit and regimen for her condition.

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    Q: I am writing in hopes of some spiritual guidance, and direction for a very close friend. My friend has been clinically diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder. He also battles with, suicidal thoughts, and evil spirits. He lives a pretty normal life to outsiders, but internally he is extremely unstable. He has a psychologist, and he is caught up in the medicine of the western world. He is aware of the causes of his mental illnesses, but he is unsatisfied with his current condition, He is longing for healing, and he believes that it can be done. He feels that he is alone because nobody understands what he is going through. He is a very spiritual person, but there are many demons attached to his spirit, and he is trying hard to fight them off. Unfortunately he is coping in all the wrong ways. He is trying to manage, and maintain with these diseases, which is only causing him to sink into a greater depression. What do you recommend?

    A:

    By all means visit our Articles section, and read articles concerning, many of the things your friend is experiencing. Have the person read my "Suicide" article as well as my "Bi-Polar" article. I also recommend the "Mental Science Manual." There's much information for this person at Dherbs.com!

    Articles:
    Suicide
    Bi-Polar Disorder

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual

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    Q: I'm 17 years of age and go to a boarding high school in Florida. I just moved here from L.A. Over the summer. I've always been passionate about picking up valuable information that is not taught in schools. Even though I've always gotten good grades in all classes, I have always had a dislike for school. I feel like it is trapping me, because I have very little time to study topics that are truly beneficial such as law, herbs, history and many other topics. I just wanted to give you a brief background image of me; bottom line is this... I want to be part of what you are doing. I know you probably have so many positions filled. And I've never been materialistic and never liked school, but I also understand that if I want to get out in the world on my own right now I need to have a situation where I can make a sufficient amount of money to support myself. So I'm just letting you know I'm very passionate about helping people heal themselves and I would be very committed to what you are trying to accomplish in terms of healing people mentally and physically. I feel so thankful because most people don't get the opportunity to come across TRUE herbalism, TRU history, TRUE law, etc, until they are deep into adulthood, if ever. And I feel like I must fulfill my opportunity starting NOW. Because if I don't, I would be failing the mission I was incarnated here to do. Peace

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You have recognized at a very young age that school is a waste of time as measured against the subjects of your heart. Make the time to study the topics of your interest. It's well worth it, Beloved! I did it for many years of my life and when I was out of school and got into knowledge, I spent almost whole days studying the interests of my desires which has led me to the life I am now living. I'm glad I followed my heart. In regards to Dherbs, unfortunately Beloved, I am an Inter-net company only and thus have no positions available. What is your zodiac sign? Maybe we can help you to find work that is suitable to your interests. Your 10th House explains the area's best for you work-wise. Hey, thanks for reaching out, Beloved! One day I would like to employ thousands of people. If you ever want to talk or need advice, give me a call!

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    Q: I am sending you this message because I am very concerned about my friend?s health. He's a young black man; age 31.He is highly STRESSED OUT on his job and has been experiencing patches of HAIR LOSS all through out his head. He went to see a doctor and is now taking some sort of medicine with steroids in it. I believe you can advise him on a more natural way (DHERBS) to control his STRESS & HAIR LOSS problem.

    A: Consider supplementing with MSM, Hair, Skin, & Nails, Nerves Formula, and/or the Anti-Stress Inhaler. These products should greatly help with the mentioned symptoms your friend is experiencing. The stress is contributing to the hair loss.

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    Q: I have 3 questions: 1st what is good for ulcers 2nd my mom is 70yrs old and i want her to start taking supplements she has HBP & diabetes she is in good health and gets around well. 3rd my best friend has cancer in his liver he had chemo but it did not work we want to rebuild his immune system. What is good without hurting him more and can you tell me what he needs to do to get better thanks

    A:

    1. Ulcers: give ULCUS BUSTER a try! Have her drink aloe vera juice (a cup) per day. Read our â€ULCERS†article on our site under ARTICLES. 2. For HBP: have her perform the FULL BODY DETOX. Read our HBP article too! For Diabtes, have her perform the PANCREAS CLEANSE AND REGIMEN . Also, read the â€DIABETES†article. 3. Read the â€CANCER: CAUSES AND REMEDIES†article! Have the friend DETOX TEA and drink RAINFOREST TONIC TEA simulataneously.

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    Q: Wow. A friend of a friend referred me to your website. I'm looking for alternative post surgery treatment for my 6 month old daughter who had sarcoma removed from her flank area. Oncologist says she needs 4 more rounds of chemo to kill invisible cells, just in case they exist. I know there has to be a safer solution. Please advise.

    A:

    There is a safer solution: don't do the procedure. But this is your personal choice to make. I'd recommend giving the child RAINFOREST TONIC TEA (sweetened with maple syrup, of course). Read our articles on "SURGERY" and "THE DANGERS OF CHEMOTHERAPY".

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    Q: Thanks once again for your prompt response. Also, what about the iron extract? When I read your article on sickle cell, I ask the "doctor" some questions regarding iron and to my amazement, she could not answer properly and tried to make me think I was crazy and uninformed. But it backfired on her due to your educational articles. I LOVE YOU!! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU'RE DOING. EDUCATING THE WORLD!!!!! Peace & love for sure!!

    A:

    The Iron Extract is good too, Beloved! Herbs are noble and will help your child - guaranteed! And THANK YOU so much for showing so much love! I love you too, Beloved, and am thankful for your support and patronage of Dherbs.Com! God bless you, Beloved!

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    Q: I wondered why I had such a strong connection to you. I understand now after reading some of your articles. My mother is a Aries, and my father is a Libra. I'am a Taurus Female, and my ex-husband is a Virgo. My current man friend is a Virgo, and my daughter is a Capicorn. After reading your manuals, and articles on a daily bases. Everything is much clearer now. I hope to meet you someday. Maybe in New York this summer, or when you come to the QC know as Charlotte, NC. I love your spirit. Thanks for all you do. In Love and in Light.

    A:

    I'm glad my articles gave you some clarity on some things. Great to hear! Wow! We have so many similarities! I'm a Taurus, my wife is a Virgo, my mother was Aries and my father Libra! Wow! Interesting! Stay tuned to Dherbs.com and may you continue to enjoy reading our articles.

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    Q: First off, I want to say that I am TRULY grateful for the work that you are doing. Words cannot convey my sincere gratitude. I will continue to tell my loved ones about the wonderful products, services, and information that you provide. I read your article on ADD/ADHD and was deeply saddened by the harm that is being done to our children. A very dear friend of mine has an 11 year old son that was diagnosed and is currently on medication for this so called condition. I have a 5 year old daughter who just started kindergarten. My daughter is HIGHLY sensitive and gets her feelings hurt very easily. She had two melt downs in class the first week of school. When she was 3 years old, a psychiatrist who was observing her behavior, told me that she thought she may be ADD/ADHD but I did not receive it. My question is how do we, as parents, who are still working in the matrix, educate our children. As a single mom, I do not currently possess the luxury to home-school my daughter and at the same time, I am not pleased with the public school (fool) system, or even private school that still follows the same guidelines and curriculum. Any suggestions?

    A:

    You EDUCATE your children by living TRUTH, being the example of righteous living, personal responsibility, personal accountability, integrity, morals, ethics, etc. BE ABOUT IT! Children learn by watching and then emulating! LIVE IT! The examples from home are stronger than what's learned at school and your child admires you more than any other person. Thank you kindly for your words which are greatly appreciated, Beloved. Thank you so much!

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    Q: My friend is always cold all over, and her throat hurts when she's on her period. She claims she may be anemic. Can you please help? What can we do to make her well?

    A:

    Your friend should perform the Full Body Detox as soon as possible. Or, in the alternative, she should use "Oral Antiseptic Spray" for her throat, and take "Moon Cycle" Formula for her period, and "Iron Phosphate" for her anemia.

    Product Links:
    Full Body Detox
    Oral Antiseptic Spray
    Moon Cycle Formula

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    Q: I am loving my FULL BODY DETOX. I have realized that I am not as disciplined as I previously thought. Having to make the wonderful changes you stated to return to optimum health has been a trial. I have started over several times. I just hate taking pills...I can smell them before opening the bottle Anyway the doctor said they found Pre cancerous cells in my breast and suggested I have a mire prior to having the cells removed (I have absolutely no intentions of having the butchers cut on me) please share with me your thoughts on these procedures....I bypassed Ramadan to do the FULL BODY DETOXand I'm planning to start the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. afterwards. However, I did allow them to perform the breast ultrasound and mammogram. I had a breast biopsy and that's when they found the pre-cancer cells I immediately started TBC. There is cancer in my family history on my mother's side. Also on a different note I love the videos on you tube. How can I send them to my email to share with others that I know i.e... toxic kitchen, toxic bedroom etc..Thank you and may God always bless you, your family and all those who work at dherbs and supporters.

    A:

    Precancerous cells? LOL!!! This is a fraud to scare people (women) and it works too! Pre cancerous cells means PRE = BEFORE, cancerous cells. Precancerous cells are normal cells and thus there's no need to worry. This is just an excuse to incite fear in you and have you allow them to put you on drugs and/or perform surgery. If the FULL BODY DETOX (FBD) is too much for you, order 6 bottles of ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD and take 5 capsules every 2-3 hours for 20-days following the food/dietary regimen of the FBD! Just keep doing what you're doing!

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    Q: I just suffered my 4th miscarriage at 47. My friend Solomon said I should contact you because I'm asking why and I'm questioning everything spiritually. What should I do. All women want to be mothers. I don't have children.

    A:

    Please call us and schedule a consultation ($100, 1-hour). You'll greatly get the understanding you so desire and need. It's only so much that I can write to you here. Please schedule right away! There are spiritual reasons for everything!

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    Q: How long does it take for Gingko Biloba to start thinning the blood for those who want to get off of blood thinners? My friend is on blood thinners. He would like to make the switch, but fear the Gingko Biloba may not work fast enough in case of a blood clot, or heart attack occurring. Can he start taking the both for maybe 2 or three days then completely get off the thinners?

    A:

    The person perhaps shouldn't even consider Gingko due to the fear which is damnable. When people are in fear I usually tell them to do what makes them feel good, and remove the fear because if a person does something in the face of fear and a bad reaction occurs, the fear won't get the blame. The herb or other natural thing will. However, for blood thinning effects of Gingko Biloba, take 9-12 capsules throughout the day, i.e. 3 capsules every 3-4 hours.

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    Q: Happy New Year to You and yours!!! My son is three years old; he was born December 12, 2004, this was a Sunday. Ever since he started talking he's had a fascination with the light and light bulbs. He looks up and says "mom look, the light is beautiful" or "mom see the beautiful light bulb". I look at it and I usually say yes it is beautiful Jordan. However, I do not see what he sees nor do I understand the attraction. When he was two weeks old I took him with me to Olive May and the old wise woman there saw him and asked me to bring him to her. When she looked at him she said "he is indigo--he is like sunshine when he enters a room and people will be drawn to him." So far the part about people being drawn to him has manifest true. What do you think of the attraction/fascination to the lights? Also, I read that awesome article on birthmarks!! I don't have one, however, my son has one on his buttock; I don't remember which one at the moment. His primary pediatrician called it a mongolian spot..what do you say?? Does it mean he will fall and hurt himself or has fallen?? Looking forward to seeing you in March. Love, Peace and Blessings.

    A:

    You son is most definitely an INDIGO CHILD (specifically a CRYSTAL or RAINBOW CHILD manifesting all 7 spectrums of color of the Rainbow). His preoccupation with lights could denote many things. For one, he is Light himself (light-worker). It could be that he still remembers the Light before re-incarnating this time around. We all eventually move into the Light in order to move on. Mongolian spot? A very negative term! Buttocks denote an injury that occured on that area in a past life. Birthmarks don't mean something adverse will happen to you in this lifetime where your birthmark is. It doesn't mean this at all. Just be open to experience and learn from and with your child. Live in the moment and just be open!