How To Repair A Good Relationship Before It’s Too Late

0-767919684-fotolia-20926050-subscription-monthly-m

When it comes to relationships and romance, the key to long-lasting happiness is usually prevention, not repair. It’s far easier to develop the skills and good habits to keep your love life working than it is to fix things when they’ve begun to fall apart.

But the reality of life is that nearly all of us will find ourselves in a relationship rough patch at one point or another. Sometimes it signals the end of a partnership, but other times it’s simply a rough patch. If you’re married or in a committed relationship, there will always be ups and downs; the trick to staying together is learning to weather the dips together.

As a wife and a therapist, I can assure you that there is not a single secret recipe to help you get through a rocky time and rediscover your love. But there are some fundamental guidelines that can help you, no matter how you got here.

1. Make time to just be together … even when you’re mad.

One of my favorite quotes on love is from Julia Child. When describing her 48-year marriage, she said “We had a great marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time.”

Yes, date night is important; anniversaries and birthdays are important; but most important are the tiny, everyday things that you do together. The simple fact is that time together is an essential ingredient for every relationship. When things get hard, it’s easy to want to retreat from each other and find solace alone, at work, or with friends but, if you want to ride out the storm, you have to do it together.

2. Don’t give up on sex or physical intimacy.

For most men, sex often leads to emotional intimacy and for many women, emotional closeness can lead to sex — not a big deal if you’re getting along. In fact, it’s a pattern that becomes a positive feedback loop: you feel close so you want to have sex and by doing so, your husband feels close to you and is more likely to do things that make you feel close to him.

The challenge is when you get out of sync. Someone has to change the pattern to fix things and sometimes, it’s as simple as just doing it anyway. If you can’t get to a place where you feel emotionally safe enough for sex, try to start over from the beginning. Kiss each other hello and goodbye (I mean a real kiss that lasts at least 10 seconds, no grandma pecks), hold hands on the couch, or give backrubs and foot massages. Gentle, loving touch is amazing at reigniting physical and emotional intimacy, which is the first step out of a marital dip.

3. Stand your ground and fight.

Sometimes you need to take a break and cool off, but don’t go away for too long. One of the most difficult things for a couple to recover from is emotional disconnection. The feeling that one or both of you has checked-out is often the beginning of a slippery slope into isolation, loneliness, and many times, divorce or break-up.

Even when you aren’t sure how things will get better, commit to showing up and working at it until they do. When both partners can say that even in the midst of challenge, they are willing to stick it out and find solutions to make things better, there is a much greater chance of success. The real secret to staying together is not reducing conflict, it’s learning to stay and fight for what you’ve built together.

4. Stop pointing the finger and look in the mirror first.

Often the things we are frustrated with in our relationship are a reflection of what’s happening within us as individuals. This doesn’t let your partner off the hook or excuse bad behavior. It does however give you an opportunity to reclaim a sense of control in the relationship. If you look carefully, you’ll likely find that you’re playing a role in creating the problems that you want your partner to fix.

By taking ownership of your part of the problem, you empower yourself to create change, even if your partner isn’t ready to do their part. Ultimately you’ll both have to take a “we” perspective instead of a “you” perspective. When you can look at how you can both improve an area, you are sure to find your way back to the good stuff that you’ve been missing.

By: Esther Boykin
Source: www.mindbodygreen.com

2015-08-27T12:04:26+00:00

Related Questions

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I am very sensitive. I feel like there are invisible things entering my body. I feel things going into my feet, my crown, my female parts the openings of my body. I keep having serious lung problems. I saw something dark jump into my chest. I feel it moving thru my body, like a snake. I have been checked for parasites but nothing was found. I had all types of x-rays and blood tests done, but nothing found. I am of sound mind and strong in my faith. I sometimes see brown or white oil spots on my car and on the ground where I walk. By the time I past this I begin to have these sensations. I believe this is a bacteria by nature or man that is causing this problem. I went for acupuncture for the problem the Chinese man said something was in my body. Have you heard of this problem before? Do you think you can help me? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    A:

    Spiritual healing and cleansing are my areas of expertise! Please consider a consultation ($100, 1-hour). There is much you can do to heal from these attached entities that have entered your body via your chakras. Your feet have chakras, your vagina has a chakra, and your crown has a chakra. No coincidence you feel things going on in these chakra centers. I can help you! There's nothing to worry about. Every problem has a solution or answer. Please call 866-434-3727 or 323-817-9929 to schedule.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Sorry for my abbreviated style, it is because I type with one finger. We are happily married since1971; we have 3 children 1973, 1977 1984. From the first day of marriage, time-to time I experienced that had difficulty to have good erection. (Not always) in the past approx 2 years it is getting worse and often failed. About a year I was not able to make love while both of us have the desire, tried many things (except drugs and all the fake enhancers on the market) One naturopath suggested that I have some nervous blockage, might prevent the erection, due to many frustrations of not able to do anything when both of us have the desire. I have involuntary erection during night sleep generally between 2--5 Am.

    A:

    It may be a host of things but it mostly seems your impotence is psycho-somatic in nature as your diet appears pretty healthy. Work would have to be done on the emotional, mental, and psychological nature to unblock some clogged circuits. Every situation can be reversed. It simply depends on what you are open to as far as healing modalities goes.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Wow you are on the ball. I am a skeptic but I need to do something. Does one really have to become a vegan to achieve these objectives? Seeing I am not in a relationship now, should I hold off on the Jackrabbit formula and those things and stick to the cleanse? HELP!!! Just seeking advise, also how long does it take for things to arrive.

    A:

    I don't waste much energy on skeptics because life is full of risk (going to the movies and watching a movie you don't know if you'll like; gambling in a casino and having no guarantee of winning; getting married and not knowing if the marriage will last, etc.).

    One does not have to become a vegan, but it greatly helps!

    Jackrabbit formula is not just for sex purposes, but also to build up the sex glands. I would just concentrate on the Full Body Detox though.

    Our herbs arrive within 2-3 days after you place your order.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: So in the greater scheme of things is the FULL BODY DETOX just something to get the ball rolling? Why do people see such significant results? Also I didn't find much on bed wetting on your site. My son is close to 13 and has been dealing with a bed-wetting problem since he was a toddler. He has been prescribed things like catnip and other bladder/nervous system supporting herbs. I purchased the teenager cleanse for him but do you have any other suggestions?

    A:

    THE HERBS ARE FORMULATED VERY WELL AND THE HERBS ARE POTENT. COUPLE THIS WITH THE RAW FOODS DIET AND HERE'S YOUR ANSWER! I RECOMMEND CENTAURY EXTRACT! COMING SOON TO DHERBS (AUGUST 2008)

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have been married 5 years and my husband and I are not seeing eye to eye after the birth of our two kids. It seems like he has drawn farther away from me. It could be stress or job related issues, but the fact remains that he does not communicate to me about anything important in his life. He just has a closed shell when it comes to telling me things. Also, he stop paying the the rent for a while now. I don't know if this has anything to do with me making more than him financially. How can I approach my husband, with out hurting his ego and get him to talk to me about anything? But, I must say we are not affectionate to each other only when it comes to be sexual. What can I do?

    A:

    Sometimes men feel like an outsider after children are born. It's because the wife has to give the children so much of her attention. He cant help feeling a little resentful or jealous. If you want him to open up. Give him some attention. Tell him you appreciate him often. Kiss him and love on him too. Men also shut down when they are not getting enough sex. Tell him when you feel sexual. Tell him you want him, and are attracted to him. This will help him to feel close to you again, and he will begin to share himself with you again. Treat him the way you want to be treated.

    Sending love and light.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I read most of your articles. Love them. What you say is 100% correct. See for me. I believe that God has put me here for a reason. I have been blessed with the ability to for see things and when I think about something hard enough BAM!! I think of someone and they show up, so in regards to my current situation YES. I did have a hand in this. I keep thinking of not wanting to get HIV. Didn’t want to hear about or talk about it. Then two months before getting my initial test. It was on my mind. Then I got a physical and I was like no going to take this test but went ahead anyway and here we are. Do I believe in it? Not anymore. I now believe in blood toxicity. I am not freaking out about outbreaks because I don't have any. What I want is to know how to shape my mind. Do I need Chakra balance? What can I do to stop the thoughts? How do I reverse my mind to stop thinking on things. I try so hard to see happy things and feel happy thoughts. BTW in Jan I thought about a cold sore and it appeared.

    A:

    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I'm having a little hard time building a relationship with my lady's 6 year-old daughter. She's sweet, the only child (for now), and has her father in her life. I don't want to be her dad, but I do want her to respect me. I intend to marry this lady, and I will be the father figure in our house.

    A:

    Just focus on things you appreciate about the child. Stop judging her relationship with her mother. Find a perspective about her that feels good. Respect her, and give her space to warm up to you at her own pace. It will happen

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

    A:

    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: You gave me a remedy for a lot of things. But the one I need the most is something to control this high blood pressure. My doctors are at a stand still. They don't know what is causing it and they damn sure don't know how to treat it. I feel like a walking time bomb. Please recommend me something, I needed it last week. I want to order something now for the blood pressure. To give you an idea my last reading today was 191/125 that is better than last week reading.

    A:

    Take 3 capsules of Cardiovascular Formula twice daily and drink one 4-ounce cup of celery and apple juice twice daily.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have suffered from sever acne on my face and back for the past 8 years. I have tried a lot of things from prescription drugs to natural products and I still break out. I have some other symptoms like vaginal discharge, excessive hair growth and swollen lymph glands in my jaw and neck. Are all of these things related to one another? Please help me! I am 28 yrs and feel that I will look older than I am if I don’t find a solution.

    A:

    You're blood is TOXIC and needs purifying and cleansing! Acne is the result of your skin defecating via the skin because your eliminative channels are not working. Read our articles (â€SKIN RASHâ€, â€VAGINAL ODORS AND DISCHARGEâ€, etc.). Perform the FULL BODY DETOX followed by the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE, change your diet (raw foods and vegan), soak in hot water, sea salt, and hydrogen peroxide DAILY! All of your problems are connected which is why the total body needs cleansing The new ACNE article will be up soon so stay tuned to Dherbs.Com!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I am beginning a career as an artist but I am a single mother. I have worked in many corporate offices as a temp. I have attempted attending schools for things I thought would make me money. I really want to be a successful artist but I also have to take care of my son and work on art and work on my freelance contracts. I do not make the money I want or live where I want to live yet. I help my mother with her bills, I buy groceries and cook for everyone, I work at my uncles center for children and out of an art gallery at the homeless shelter as well as attend courses regarding the art business. I am doing it all without acquiring debt but I would like to know if it sounds like I am doing enough. I live a very lonely life, no real friends, no boyfriend. The only "kicks" I get are smoking a little weed and drinking a little wine here and there. I take my son to school and pick him up daily. I made sure I got him into one of the top schools in my city I also try to teach him and read to him as much as possible and keep him out of trouble. It gets hard. How do I stay motivated? I think the thing that bothers me most is uncertainty and the lack of money I have right now. How do I get to the next level financially without acquiring debt or having to fight traffic and deal with crazy attitudes every day?

    A:

    I apologize for the very delayed response, we have been experiencing technical difficulties.  I first would like to commend you on your ability to prioritize in such an effective manner.  Your life sounds like one lived in great service to  and love of others.  However, it is also VERY important that you receive energy from others so that you do not become too imbalanced.  Balance in life is crucial in all things (spiritual, physical, cognitive, relational etc).

    Your loneliness is your heart's/spirit's way of asking for relational balance.  It will continue asking louder and cause difficulties in other areas of your life/being until you create this balance.  Your substance use (and thank you for your honesty) only temporarily masks the loneliness, but drugs can only make it worse.  You see, drugs block us from becoming skilled at creating healthy relationships because they numbs us by turning down the volume on our brain's natural pleasure-centers.

    Additionally; keep in mind:  Your first fruits are always to be consumed by YOU!  You must always place yourself first, even before your son.  In example:  Airlines direct you that in the event of trouble you are to place your own oxygen mask on first.  You can be of no use to your son if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen.  Similarly, if you give all of your fruits to others, you will have no "seed" or energy to produce more fruit.  

    You must give to you first!  Then you have the energy to give to others.  It teaches others how to give to you, how to love you, how to respect you and your needs while giving them the opportunity to reciprocate by giving to you.  This is how we balance giving.  Don't worry if it feels selfish at first, it definitely will seem that way, to you and possibly others.  Its just the change of tides making everyone feel a bit uncomfortable - but this will balance out in time as you become  more skilled at receiving and feel more worthy of others' care .

    I realize you have asked several other questions, however I have addressed the one I feel will help unblock your energy and allow you to see that the answers to the other questions have always been right before you.  We are born with everything we need to accomplish our goals, we only need to focus on the proper utilization of these gifts and resources.  If you couple this skill with fearlessness and belief in oneself, you will win.

    This communication does not constitute a client/coach relationship.  This is for information purposes only.

    Life is simply beautiful! 

    Enjoy your Self!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: A friend told me about your site. I began to read about your Full Body Cleanse. I must admit that initially I was very skeptical about the information given to me, especially since I had never heard of your company, but as I read the articles listed on your site I was so amazed and enlightened. A few years ago I was diagnosed with hypertension and just last year with hypothyroid. I've had irregular menstrual cycles during my entire life. For the past two years my menstrual cycle has really been out of whack, it would come on for a few days go off a day and began menstruating again.... this has been for two years. I have had no real intimacy with a man because I was always afraid that my menstrual would start. About a month ago I thought I was having a stroke which was diagnosed by the neurologist as Bell's Palsy. I am 29 years of age soon to be 30 and all of these things have been going on with me. I have tried pharmaceuticals, which I am still on. When my doctor diagnosed me with hypothyroid he figured that the thyroid medication (levothyroxine) would eventually regulate my menstrual. I have been on this same medication for nine months and still no relief. I was once on one hypertension medication (hydrochlorathiazide) but now have to take another one along with this one because it was not regulating my blood pressure(enalapril). I hate medicine and I am tired of being on all of these drugs that I know are no good for my body. Along with those health problems I am an obese woman, of course my doctor says that this could be from my hypothyroid disease so does this mean I will never be able to get down to a healthy weight? I get so frustrated with things because I try to stay on top of my health and it seems like every time I go into see my doctor there is something new. Since the thyroid medication did not regulate my cycle he is now having me checked for polycystic ovarian syndrome. I don't want to risk my ability to have children by allowing these doctor's to do procedures on my body that will make me barren if that is the case. I am also having problems with acne and skin dryness in some areas of my face. My past doctor told me to use Neutrogena Acne Wash daily and the Neutrogena Facial Lotion that goes along with it. I have been doing this for several years so where is the relief? So I reluctantly began to read your articles and was awed, amazed, shocked, baffled. I am very interested in hearing your opinion about these issues that I am faced with and what you would recommend me do. I thank you in advance for taking the time out of your day to respond to this lengthy e-mail.

    A:

    You are too young to be dealing with so many health issues. These are all issues that can be eradicated with a proper diet, consisting of fresh fruits and vegetables and eliminating processed junk food and animal products completely.
    You should start with the Full Body Cleanse followed by The Female Cleanse. The Female Cleanse will help regulate your menses. You should then perform the 10 Day Colon Cleanser.

    Take the following when you are done with your cleanses: For Thyroid: Take Thyroid Aid and Iron Formula for Hypertension: Take the Cardiovascular and Circulation Aid Formula. For Acne: Take the Blood and Lymphatic Formula and use our Oxy Oil after every face wash. 

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: I have been anemic since my cycle started age 11. In the year 2001 I had the first tranfusion and found out that I had fibroids. At that time they were small. It took three years later to find out that you can shrink them and disolve them from a book called healing fibroids a natural cure. I have always been a heavy bleeder but in 2004 the bleeding got worse where i had to leave work to go to the emergency room. I got IV fliud and was told this is my normal period. I never had to go to the hospital because of bleeding too much. Any way in 2001 I was on the pill and taking iron 3* a day 325ml. Got off the pill because of the weight gain and was still bleeding hard due to everyday stress. 2006 I had two more transfusions with in 5 months of each other. All the doctors want to do is cut me. I refuse. After the last transfusion, I decided to get iron through IV. What a dissaster. The hospital gave me too many things at once. I was fine when I got home but, at 11pm I could not sleep too well. I began having heart palpitations. Rushed to the ER in such pain, I was in pain to stand up, in pain to sit down. I had to pace the floor and sit down and get back up again several times. The intense pain did not stop until I stood bent over my mother's lap for 10 mins. It stopped at 4:30am. Well they kept me for four days. Every test and xray done on me and they found nothing wrong with my heart. Good. But what on earth caused the pain. I have not been able to work for the past 3 years. Every time my cycle starts I lose a lot of blood, I am weak, I can't walk like a normal person and my heart is always pounding hard at every little movement I make. I blacked out in the shower in 2007. I am currently taking cold pressed wheat germ oil to put oxygen in my blood and to stop the pain in my chest. I look worn, my skin from head to toe is covered in scars, and I have no finger nails and my hair is greying all over. I am 36 and I am literally half dead. Can any of your products help me get me up off the couch and walking like a normal person again.

    A:

    Beloved, I recommend that you first perform the FULL BODY DETOX. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the FIBRIOD BUSTER CLEANSE AND REGIME. After this kit I recommend that you perform the 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE. After this kit, I recommend that you perform the TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE followed by the WEIGHT RELEASE CLEANSE AND REGIMEN. While performing all these cleanses above, when drinking water make sure you add KHEMETIAN GOLD and OXY-DROPS to every glass of water you drink. In addition to performing these kits, please read our FREE articles and begin to properly educate yourself. There is healing from all that you suffer from!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi, I have been suffering from a dull pain the testicular area for over 2 years now. I have seen 2 urologists that have confirmed that I have enterococcus bacteria in either the prostate of genital area based on semen culture. I have also done testicle ultrasound and CAT scan of the area with good results. One of the urologist said that I have an inflamed prostate (prostitis) there was some varicose veins when ultra sound was done but the urologist continues to give me long term antibiotics. Some my symptoms have been dull pain in the testicular area when I need to have a bowel movement. low energy, moody, memory loss, irritable, confused, brain fog etc. I use to have a health sex drive but now my sex drive is really low. A bit of erectile dysfunction but I think that comes more from having the pain all the time and anxiety. I don't know if this is possible but my penis seems to have reduced in size when erect. The doctor ask me to try some cialis for the ED which I did for a short while but decided I needed something natural because of the long term problems of using those medications. I have had long periods of stress from a bitter business relationship about 2 years ago. My concern is that every time I go to the urologist all they want to do it give me antibiotics and that doesn't seem to be working. I am concern of the other organ damage caused by taking long term antibiotics. Is there an alternative you recommend? I have been looking at your Anti- virus treatment. I am 30 years old.

    A:

    I would suggest you perform the FULL BODY DETOXfollowed by the TOTAL MALE CLEANSE. Read some of our free health articles too on male reproductive health. Healing begins with knowledge!

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Thank you once again for your advice and your article on love. I was in so much pain when I emailed you all I could think of was that maybe death would give me peace. As your articles say, heartache, the broken light cord, hurts something terrible in the most literal sense. Your articles give me so much comfort and peace, you are truly blessed. I read everything is Okay as often as I can to remind me to go with the flow of life. Since your first email I have started working with Rose quartz, Rhodocrosite, and Adventurine. I've started practicing Qi Gong and this is helping to put me in tune with who I really am, divine. I cannot say it has been all peaches and cream, the journey up has been bumpy- I have to read and re-read, make the conscious decisions to let go of old patterns. Thank you for your love. Thank you for taking the time to reach back out to a stranger when you did not have to. I am on your site now ready to make my second purchase. There are two 4th Charka elixirs for sale, which one should I purchase? The abundance elixir- is this meant to bring abundance or change my thinking on abundance? I apologize if this question sounds ignorant but I'm slightly confused. One last thing Dherbs.com, you speak of a Three in One modality and advise your reader to get one. What is this and how can I get one? Also, how can I schedule a Charka Consult with you? I know this is a great deal of questions and comments, thank you so much, so very much, for your time.

    A:

    Thank you so much for your e-mail, beloved! Much obliged! Glad to hear Dherbs is helping you on your wonderful journey. Death is never the answer, Beloved. Please read my new article on â€SUICIDEâ€, which explains why (if you haven't already). In re: Charka elixirs I would suggest the FOURTH CHAKRA #2 the one for the Heart as compared to "healing." My friend Julie no longer offers the 3-in-1 sessions, which were so beneficial. However, we still offer charka balancing and can do a reading by phone ($55) if you're interested.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Hi, I have been dealing with what I believe to be depression for years. I once was prescribed Zoloft and I took the meds for 1 month. I did not want to take drugs so I discontinued use. I have gone up and down in my career and love life. Now I just feel tired and feel I am steadily spiraling down. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what. I have gone to therapy several times and nothing last. I desire to have a full life and believe GOD wants us to live abundantly. I just seem to keep struggling, I will do well for a few weeks then out of nowhere I will start sabotaging things. Can you tell me what products I can use to gain my life back?

    A:

    You can get your life back, Ma'am! First, DETOX (FULL BODY DETOX). Read our free articles while Detoxing and make sure you order and read our MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL too which is very important in healing as it shows you how to work the mind to your benefit.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Due to what I did with women in previous experiences, from time to time I tend to think, and worry about what my woman might do. She's a wonderful lady-she really is; and she's been upfront, and honest from the get go. But, I can get a little pessimistic about the relationship. But, I do that because I know how slick women can be. I've been on the receiving end of that slickness! So again, from time to time, that creeps up in my thoughts. And yes, I have been absolutely committed to her as well.

    A:

    What you focus on with emotion is what you attract according to the law of attraction. If you continue to give these negative thoughts, your focus you will manifest this outcome. You have to consciously change this pattern to get out of your loop. When you feellike consciously, remind yourself of what you DO want. Allow yourself to create what you really want, which is to feel calm and in love with your amazin woman.

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: My grandmother's disease is getting progressively worse these days. Thus, I would like to know why you referred to the dementia as so-called? This has really peaked my curiosity, however, it is obvious that she is forgetting things and very confused about her day to day surroundings; ex: asks frequently to be taken to her home, although she's already there, can no longer drive, cook, or be left alone. She even thinks that her children are other people at times. To be quite frank, she is severely depressed, overweight, and has almost zero desire to do anything, but perhaps die as she often says. I think a great deal of this stems from the fact that she feels her independent life is gone. Yet, allof this is linked to the fact that she is forgetting how to do basic things. Sorry for the lack of brevity, but as you said, an attempt to ask or try, is better than not asking or trying at all.

    A:

    Start giving her our Brain Booster Tea and Tropical Tea daily to improve oxygen flow to the brain.