The guessing game
There are so many rules out there about how women should conduct communication with men they are dating or in a relationship with. Some experts say a woman should never text or call. Others say occasionally is fine. But what happens when he just stops communicating? Well from my perspective I think you have to assess how you feel and get clear on your intentions and then decide what you would like to happen next.
I know because I been there
This happened to me after Anthony and I had our second date. Our first date was more like a booty call than a date, because we met at a club and then we went home together. I know…I’m a rule breaker! That night together was so good that he called me the next day and asked me out to dinner the following weekend. We talked on the phone almost every night up until the date.
My dream date
The date was amazing! We went to dinner at Thai spot I had never been to and then we spent the night together again. We had really connected and because of the nightly calls we had shared so much about ourselves that it felt like we had known each other for years. So when he stopped calling it really confused me. My ego thought “why doesn’t he want me?”
Then I followed this line of thinking to get me the result I really wanted, which was to see him again and get a chance to see if we could build a relationship.
• Be honest with yourself about how you feel about the guy.
• Be honest about what kind of relationship it is right now.
• Be honest about what kind of relationship you want it to be in the future.
• Be hopeful about the outcome, but remain detached.
• Be okay with him taking some time to think about his feelings.
• Be yourself and do what feels right for you.
• Be honest, opened minded, and compassionate if you do decide to call.
Honesty is the best policy
I did end up calling Anthony. I knew we were just having fun and I did not expect him to be my boyfriend. I did however want a chance to see if we could have more. I wasn’t sure where he was coming from and I wanted to know what changed for him. I wanted to understand what he wanted and needed, so I decided to ask him. I am so very glad I did. It has been the basic foundation of our entire relationship to be honest and upfront about our feelings. When he told me he was afraid to fall in love I told him I was too, so we could take our time and if either of was ever not feeling it we would be honest about that and not just disappear.
Words of wisdom for you ladies
Men need security in a relationship as much as women do, but the security they need is different than ours. See Anthony’s Blog “Why men are afraid of Love” To see the list. Anthony loves me on a level that I never knew existed. I am thrilled I put my ego and pride aside to show him how much I wanted to be with him then… and in the future. Everyone has their own story and you have to base your decision to pursue love the way that feels best for you. If you want it you have to break the rules sometimes. Don’t let those traditional male/ female roles keep you from connecting with the love of your life!