The #1 Change That Could Reduce Anxiety

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“I had so much anxiety this weekend,” a client will share with me during a Monday session. “I had been feeling so good for the past couple of weeks, but this weekend I seemed to have taken five giant steps backward.”

“Tell me about your weekend,” I say.

“Well, my boyfriend and I went out with some friends on Friday night and I had a couple of drinks. Then we went to a wedding on Saturday and drank a bit too much. I woke up Sunday morning feeling pretty crappy. And I spent the rest of Sunday with the familiar pit of anxiety in my stomach. All of my familiar mental obsessions and ruminations came barreling into my brain: What if I don’t love my boyfriend enough? What if I’m gay? You know how it goes.”

“Yes, I do. Any idea what triggered it?” I’ll ask, although I already know the answer.

“Probably the alcohol.”

“Yes, probably.”

It’s astonishing to me how many times I’ve had this conversation with countless clients. And the solution seems simple: if alcohol is scientifically known to stir up anxiety, then eliminating or significantly reducing its consumption would reduce anxiety. Yet when I offer this suggestion, I’m often met with resistance.

It’s not like when I suggest reducing or eliminating sugar, gluten, or grains, all of which are also known to contribute to anxiety and depression for some people. Those aren’t easy to eliminate, but they don’t occupy the same social status in our culture that alcohol does.

We live in an alcohol-addicted culture. Alcohol is used as a social lubricant, and has become such a crutch for most people to feel comfortable socially that they would feel lost without it. The paradox is that while alcohol serves as a social lubricant and works in the moment to stave off anxiety, the aftermath of alcohol consumption, especially for highly sensitive people, is an anxiety hangover the next day, and often for several days.

Is it worth it? Is it worth it to sacrifice your mental well-being for a couple of drinks? Many of my clients share that they feel better when they eliminate alcohol completely from their lives. “I really shouldn’t have one single sip,” they say. Others feel fine with modified use of alcohol, meaning a half a glass of wine every few weeks. But in order to make these changes they first have to get past their resistance.

Some of the resistance has its roots in the fact that they’ve always struggled socially and have self-diagnosed as having “social anxiety.” When I hear this self-diagnosis I’ll ask the following questions: Do you struggle when you’re hanging out in a small group of people or just in large gatherings? Just in large gatherings.

Do you struggle socially when you’re with a group where there is a common interest and partying isn’t the focus? No. What’s your favorite way to socialize: with a small group, or one-on-one? One-on-one.

Then I’ll offer my new “diagnosis:” You don’t have social anxiety; you’re a highly sensitive person!

When you know yourself and know where you thrive, you can stop trying to squeeze yourself into the culturally prescribed model for “cool” and “fun.” Clients will often share with me that when they stop drinking and partying on the weekends, their friends or roommates will poke fun at them for being boring. “So what?” they respond. “I’m not bored with my life. I’m happy and I’m living without anxiety.”

It requires courage to step outside the box. There can be no doubt that we live in an extroverted, drinking culture, and when you step out of that model you’re stepping out of the mainstream. But in making the choice to party less or not at all, which greatly supports your decision to reduce alcohol consumption, you’re making a very loving choice for yourself, one that not only honors your wiring as a highly sensitive person — and likely an introvert — but one that places your desire for an anxiety-free life above your desire to fit in.

Is it choice worth making? If you’re seeking more wellness, I would think the answer is an unequivocal yes.

By: Sheryl Paul
Source: www.mindbodygreen.com

 

2014-10-23T12:55:19+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I was most impressed by your website. The information to support your products and your obvious interest in informing the public caught and kept my attention. As I searched further into Black Seed Tea, the reason for my visit, I noticed your product ALCOHOL BUSTER. The comment of "on the metaphysical level, alcohol consumption also impairs the human aura" although very non clinical, is very much my way of thinking, it got my attention. I read as far as the disclaimer, "the formula does not have the power to prevent consumption of alcohol as only will power and a made up mind can do this." Here's where I step out of character and find myself writing this e-mail. It has been my experience while working with people from all walks of life, who are members of any 12 step program, that a reference to will power as a prevention of anything is a two edged sword. While I agree will power is important in abstention, I believe the person is benefited by using their personal will power to seek help, to commit to recovery, to take care of the physical, mental and emotional bodies. I don't believe "human" will power is the power that prevents consumption. The suggestion that "will power and a made up mind can prevent consumption of alcohol" to a person with an addiction could become a deadly idea. This of course is my opinion, do with it what you feel is appropriate.

    A:

    I feel you in where you're coming from, but I truly believe and know human willpower plays a role in prevention and healing of all disease. The strongest thing humans have is a will. Will meshes with desire in many cases. Both are strong in humans. Now, you're dealing with a person with addiction in regards to your last statement and I can totally understand where you are coming from but the sick person is not exempt from any laws of healing. There is no real or true healing absent willpower to do a thing, a beneficial thing. The addicted person must be first dealt with on the physical and psychological levels and then the spiritual and energetic (getting to the root of the addiction: perhaps a 2nd chakra problem or something hanging over from a past life). All addiction points to spiritual void and therefore the only ultimate healing here is mental or spiritual via mental. As you know, it's mind-body-spirit and all must be dealt with for healing. Will is important in abstention but we don't won't people to focus on abstaining which is usually converted into "can't have" by the addicted person. We want people to only focus on the good, the healthy, what they need and require, not what they don't want or can't have because their subconscious mind will create the situations and circumstances by which these people end up consuming the thing that is insalubrious for them. It never fails. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and plenty of other alcoholics. We want people to have and use willpower to GO FOR the best things for them, will in DOING the right and healthy things for themselves. All healing is ultimately within self. As a man thicket so is he! Peace be unto you fellow metaphysician!

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    A:

    THERE'S HELP FOR YOU, BELOVED! STAY POSITIVE! GIVE OUR FULL BODY DETOX A TRY! DO THIS FIRST! AFTER THE DETOX, TAKE AS A DAILY REGIMEN: BRAIN TUNER, NERVES FORMULA, AND ELATION INSPIRANT READ OUR FREE ARTICLES TOO! MANY ARE VERY INSPIRATIONAL AND MOTIVATION.

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    Q: Hello, I am having some serious issues here. I have a history of depression/anxiety and female problems. About a month ago I had my second miscarriage and after that it seems like my health just went downhill. I was having severe dizziness and headaches and then I started having breathing trouble. The doctors have said it's just bronchitis and my anxiety and that I need to take my meds so I have started back on my antidepressants/anxiety meds. My health doesn't seem to be getting any better. I'm having terrible stomach problems, no appetite, and my nerves are killing me. I'm also having muscle aches in my arms and legs and I'm having back and chest pains, please help me with some kind of advice. I've read through some of your articles but I'm still confused about what to do?

    A:

    When you feel like this it's a sign that you need to reboot your system (body) and you do this by Detoxing your body and eating a healthy diet in addition to positive thinking. Start with our FULL BODY DETOX followed by our TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. Drink our ENERGY TEA while doing your cleanses. You'll bounce back, Beloved.

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    Q: I am a 29 year old African American female. I would like to tell you my story and get your advice. Before Sept. 28, 2008 I was a healthy fun loving female but after sept. 28th my health has not been the same. I wake up in the morning weak with nausea and headaches. I went to Kaiser and they said I had a virus and I had to let it take its course. I work with kids and it was hard for me to go back to work because 1. I kept getting sick. 2. My boss was mad that I was sick and not able to work. So I went back to Kaiser and then they said I was sick and had a virus with a mix of anxiety(due to my boss going crazy on me). They said I need to rest and stop being anxious, so I can heal.(well the anxiety is gone) Next I started to get sharp pains in my stomach area(which I have had before on and off for the past couple of years but it would only happen like once or twice a year) but I was scared because the pains we're very sharp and happening like two weeks apart. So Kaiser told me to go see a Upper GI Dr. I went to see one and had an endoscopy done and they found a yeast infection in my throat and that also my esophagus was irritated to but my stomach looked fine. So they put me on Prontiox (for the irritated esophagus and Difucan (for the yeast infection). Well as soon as I finished the medication for the yeast infection in my esophagus, I lost my voice and could not talk for 4-5 days and I still have the stomach pains. So the Upper GI dr. told me the sore throat and losing my voice was a side effect to GERD and that is what I may have. So he asked to up the dose of the Prontiox (so now I am taking 80 mg instead of 40 mg a day). But guess what still having stomach pains and my voice still goes in and out and it feels like something is stuck in my throat and now when I eat, I feel food get stuck in my chest like right in the middle of my breast. So what is going on with me...they have done blood work on me from blood count to checking me for STD's (even HIV) and everything came back normal/negative. And they keep saying all my blood work is healthy...So what is going on and what can I take, because I am a natural person and my system is sensitive to a lot of stuff and I don’t like being on these medications. And now the DRs may think I have IBS..Oh boy Help!! And oh yeah I have had very bad cramps when I have my period and take Motrin and I would like to know is there anything I can take that is sensitive to my stomach... HELP

    A:

    Beloved, first perform the FULL BODY DETOX. Next, perform TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE, and lastly, perform the 10-DAY SUPREME COLON CLEANSE. These kits will repair your system!

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    Q: I have been experiencing some worry issues for the last six months. Anxiety, and panic attacks, it's been a hell of a ride. I've just received the Nerve Tea, and read the ingredients, I remember some herbs that effect my dreams, for example, Chamomile. Don't know if this will make a difference drinking the tea in the morning.

    A:

    Give it a try and see. Get the experience!

    Product Links:
    Nerves Tea

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    Product Links:
    Full Body Detox
    SUBSTANCE ABUSE CLEANSE

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    Q: I was an addict for 2 years of alcohol I have resently stop drinking cleaned up my diet read a lot of books and completed your 20 day herbal cleanse. My question is the whites of my eyes has turned a yellowish brown color is there a cure for this or will they stay like this for the rest of my life due to my heavy drinking? Thanks in advance hope to hear from you. Corlette

    A:

    Yellow color eyes commonly denotes an issue within the liver. It would be best to specifically detox the liver to help continue it's healing from the years of drinking alcohol. We suggest doing the 10 Day Liver Cleanse to help clear up the eye issue. You can also try using the Detox Stick to further help pull toxins from the liver.

    Product Links:

    10 Day Liver Cleanse - http://www.dherbs.com/store/10-day-supreme-liver-cleanse-p-475.html

    Liver and Gallbladder Formula - http://www.dherbs.com/store/liver-and-gallbladder-formula-p-44.html

    Vitamin C Formula - http://www.dherbs.com/store/vitamin-c-formula-p-67.html

    Detox Stick - http://dherbs.com/store/detox-stick-p-696.html

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    Q: I've really been suffering with some anxiety issues and was looking at the symptoms of an overactive thyroid, which seem to be most of my symptoms. I was also about to have sexual relations with my girl for the first time and my body just started heating up like I had a fever, and the anxiety hit me like a bomb. I had taken the JACKRABBIT FORMULA, but it felt like the Yohimbe had my heart racing and I couldn't maintain an erection anymore do to nervousness of failure. I also get sweaty palms and feet a lot. My heart starts racing sometimes just out the blue. Could this be an overactive thyroid? Do you have any other suggestions of what could be going on?

    A:

    It could be an over-active thyroid gland, Beloved! It could also be psycho-somatic. I think the Jackrabbit also played a role in your sweating situation too due to certain "warming" herbs. Learn yoga and meditation, Beloved. It's all in the mind, Good brother. The keys to life are in the mind. Check out our new e-book MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL.

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    Q: I'm a 38-year-old male who has been suffering with Atrial Fibrillation for 3 years. Up until the age of 35 I never had any real illness that had any caused for concern, and then out of the blue I have a heart related issue. My Doctor has never given me a cause of where this came from and all the research I've done on my own turns up the same. The answers the doctor gave (caffeine, alcohol, and so on) I've never really used any of those things excessively. My eating habits up until that time where not that great and I was about 100lbs over weight. I've lost 85lbs since, and also have giving up all meats. Also I had Cath. Ablation surgery for the A-Fib. It's been 3 months since surgery and I'm now off of the Coumadin they had me taking. I'm not sure if the surgery was a total success, I've not had an attack since New Year’s Day 2008. But I'm still not feeling back to my old self. I've been having some very weird feelings of nausea, tension, constipation, and tiredness, headaches, etc. When I do go to the doctor they tell me that everything looks fine and that I may be a bit stressed and suffering from anxiety. I'm writing to you in hopes that you may be able to guide me to the right path to healing and returning to living somewhat normal life again.

    A:

    WITHOUT A QUESTION THE BEST PLACE FOR YOU TO BEGIN YOUR NATURAL HEALING JOURNEY IS WITH THE Full Body Detox. AND BECAUSE YOU TOOK THE DANGEROUS “COUMADINâ€, YOU REALLY NEED TO CLEANSE YOUR BODY OUT. THIS CLEANSE WILL HELP YOUR HEART TO RECOVER AS WELL.

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    Q: Can you recommend the best form of liquid to use when making a tincture. I understand that alcohol is horrible for the human body but, is an exception when making a tincture? Should something else be used to pull out the alcohol soluble constituents out of the herbs? And if so, what is it?

    A:

    The best liquid to use in making a tincture would be apple cider vinegar.

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    Q: I have a client that had her thyroid removed, the doctors have her on 3 grains of the natural...well natural for a pig. Thyroid. She couldn't sleep so they put her on ativan. Which is making her crazy (between you and I) She is still not sleeping and feeling agitated and this drug is causing her anxiety. I feel it has built up in her system and she has to dose down off of it. Do you have anything that would help her sleep? I have already suggested your thyroid blend. However, I didn't know if it could really help her as they removed her thyroid. So perhaps she does need the grains, as her body can no longer produce it on her own. I would really like to get her on natural as possible stuff so we can see what is physical and what we can work on energetically. Right now she feels like an energetic mess. Any suggestions?

    A:

    I RECOMMEND FOR HER (TO INDUCE SLEEP) OUR NERVES FORMULA (6 CAPSULES BEFORE BEDTIME) AND CALMING INSPIRANT. AND BY ALL MEANS SHE NEEDS A NATURAL THYROID FORMULA (I.E. THYRIOD FORMULA AND IODINE PHOSPHATE. IF SHE FEELS LIKE AN ENERGETIC MESS, SOME SERIOUS CHAKRA BALANCING/ALIGNMENT IS NEEDED.

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    Q: What do you recommend for my bone spurs in my knees and my anxiety problem. I already have your full body cleanse.

    A:

    Try Joint Aid, Alkaline Formula, Electric Greens, and MSM Sulfur for the bone spurs.

    For anxiety, try Nerves formula and one of our Inhalers (the appropriate one for your anxiety). Read up on the inhalers so you will choose the best one for yourself.

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    Q: Should we use herbal extracts that have alcohol in them and what should we do for tooth decay or a deep tissue cleanse of the gum? I have old cavities but I am not really trying to go to the dentist.

    A:

    I don't recommend alcohol-based extracts, Beloved. For your dental problems, I wrote up 2 articles that are very informative: "I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE DENTIST BUT I HAVE TO!" "BEWARE OF TOOTHPASTE AND DENTAL HYGIENE PRODUCTS"

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    Q: My son is 5 years old. At first I thought he was just shy kid. I noticed is shyness is holding him back at school, including friends and family. He is withdrawing. I read about anxiety, it sounds 100% like him. He used to be so happy, now mood swings, and gets angry quick. What can I do to help him?

    A:

    Give our Magical Alchemical Elixir a try for your son!

    Product Links:
    Magical Alchemical Elixir

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    Q: What herbs will cure anxiety? I desperately need help that will work right away.

    A:

    NERVES FORMULA, Try our NERVES TEA, MOOD UP-LIFTER INSPIRANT

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    Q: I read your article about FOLLICULITIS AND PSUEDO-FOLLICULTIS and hair bumps. In it you mentioned using Witch Hazel without alcohol. I haven't been able to find any witch hazel that doesn't have alcohol, however I went to a Wild Oats Market and they had all natural Witch Hazel that contains 10% all natural grain alcohol. It's made by Thayer. Is this okay? If not can you recommend or point me in the direction of some acceptable Witch Hazels?

    A:

    We suggest doing an intense search over the internet if your not able to find witch hazel without alcohol. The one by Thayer is acceptable. You also have the option of making a natural solution yourself using natural ingredients such as lemon juice or apple cider vinegar.

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    Q: Hi, I have been dealing with what I believe to be depression for years. I once was prescribed Zoloft and I took the meds for 1 month. I did not want to take drugs so I discontinued use. I have gone up and down in my career and love life. Now I just feel tired and feel I am steadily spiraling down. I know I have to do something, I just don't know what. I have gone to therapy several times and nothing last. I desire to have a full life and believe GOD wants us to live abundantly. I just seem to keep struggling, I will do well for a few weeks then out of nowhere I will start sabotaging things. Can you tell me what products I can use to gain my life back?

    A:

    You can get your life back, Ma'am! First, DETOX (FULL BODY DETOX). Read our free articles while Detoxing and make sure you order and read our MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL too which is very important in healing as it shows you how to work the mind to your benefit.

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    Q: I hope all is well! I am writing this note to request a consultation with Djehuti . I can only imagine how busy you are, so I will be brief. But, feel free to let me know if you'd like more detailed information. I am contacting you regarding seeking treatment for severe clinical Depression. In addition I suffer from a severe lack of energy. I'd also like to treat several nutritional deficiencies. I am 35 years old. I have been suffering from Clinical Depression since I was about 16 years old. I began to address my Depression only about 3-4 years ago. Since that time I have struggled off and on with counseling with a Social Worker, psychotherapy with a Psychiatrist, group therapy with a Psychologist, several medications, outpatient hospitalization, CBT therapy, and natural and alternative treatments such as herbs, minerals, vitamins, yoga, exercise, meditation, fasting, and cleansing. But nothing has had any long term benefits. My Depression has become increasingly more severe. Over the past 1.5 years, my Depression has been at its worse. About a year ago, I lost my job due to the Depression. I then went into a major depressive episode that has lasted well over a year. I'd like to ask you for some direction in treating my Depression, lack of energy, etc. If you have some time, I'd love to do a consultation with you. Any help that you can offer will be greatly appreciated. I am interested in doing an intense 3-month fast and detox cleanse. I would really like to do a cleanse and detoxification to completely heal my body and get rid of the toxins, impurities, mucus, etc. Thanks for your time and I look forward to hearing back from you.

    A:

    Have you schedule a consultation yet? Drugs won't help you. The root cause is emotional and spiritual. Dherbs.com can help you! I'll have an article up on depression by December 1, 2008. Stay tuned to Dherbs.com!

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    Q: I'm a 28 year old male with big dreams and high aspirations. However, I've been dealing with issues of sustained motivation, and fear for the past 10 years. As a result my life has suffered socially, and financially. I see many people around me getting ahead, but I seem to be trailing behind at every step. The hardest task I think I deal with is keeping my life in balance, and staying focused with all I desire to do. I've struggled with changing my beliefs about myself and reprogramming my mind for success for a long time.

    A:

    You have some inner blocks that are holding you back. The problems are recorded in your chakras and thus you should have chakra work performed by a qualified (doesn't mean "certified"), and trusted energy healer. Instead of focusing on keeping your life in balance, focus on what you desire to do only. I really suggest that you read my e-book manuals: "The Money, Wealth, and Prosperity Manual", "The Mental Science Manual", and the new "Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose" (highly recommended). I can totally relate to what you're saying and experiencing! You're just blocked! You may have some vital information stored in your natal chart as well. You need an inner diagnosis performed. If you order all the tools named above, I will give you the consultation for free so we can nail down the location(s) of the inner blockages. You very well may be blocked at the First, and Third chakras. Fear is stored in the First chakra, just to let you know. You can be helped, Beloved! Stay positive, and focus on your desires. Like I state in the "Mental Science Manual", play in your mind! Live in it and miraculously the things stored in the mind, and constantly played out will manifest.

    Product Links:
    The Mental Science Manual
    The Money, Wealth, & Prosperity Manual Vol. 1
    Discovering Your Life's Higher Purpose

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    Q: Should I try your CIGA-QUIT (ANTI-SMOKING) FORMULA and ALCOHOL BUSTER BEFORE I detox??? Please advise.

    A:

    I SAY DETOX FIRST BUT STOP LOOKING FOR EXTERNAL SOLUTIONS FOR INTERNAL PROBLEMS. THE ANSWER ALWAYS LIES WITHIN SELF. YOU ARE THE ANSWER, NOT SOME PRODUCT (NATURAL OR UNNATURAL).