The Only 3 Choices To Make When You Want To Be Happy

business, startup, people and teamwork concept - happy young woman over creative team in office

She looked at me and said, “It doesn’t matter what I do; I can’t change it.” This wasn’t the first time I’d heard words like this leave a friend’s mouth, but it was the first time since I had experienced some awakenings of my own.

The true cause of our unhappiness is the belief that we have no control.

 I used to feel, as my friend did, that my life was happening to me. The belief that we don’t get to chart the course of our lives was deeply ingrained in our subconsciouses, which makes us feel totally powerless, leading to frustration and unhappiness.

But recently in my own life, I’d realized the truth. While we can’t control what happens to us, we are the only people who can control how we react to those situations.

We can react from a place of victimhood, throw our hands up in the air and say, “It doesn’t matter what I do.” But this makes us feel trapped — like there’s a wall between what we want and where we are, with no escape in sight. Victimhood contributes to bitterness and sadness.

Sometimes we flail and scream, and sometimes we resign ourselves limply to the inevitable, but at no time do we take transformative action in our lives, take back the reins, or assert that we are the captains of our own ships.

What some people never realize is that the true cause of our unhappiness is the belief that we have no control.

Breaking free of that belief is a prerequisite to happiness. Here are seven things happy people believe:

1. We choose our responses to every situation.

2. We are the authors of our stories.

3. We always have a choice.

4. Life’s trials are the most crucial periods in which to affirm your autonomy over your life. Hold on tight to that.

5. Welcoming hardship comes from the belief that struggles are not happening to us, but for us.

6. Those struggles are the most efficient conduit by which we learn and grow.

7. In any undesirable circumstance, there are three — and only three — happiness-promoting responses:

1. Accept and embrace the situation for what it is.

If we’re in a job that we aren’t happy with and we choose to embrace it, we no longer complain, commiserate with friends, bemoan our situation, or find ways to rebel. We actively make the best of it, every day.

2. Change the situation.

If we stick with the job example, changing the situation can look like having a conversation with the boss, implementing new ideas for a more satisfying work experience, etc. It means making the decision to stay in the situation while working to make it better.

3. Leave the situation.

If we choose to leave the situation, we quit the job and move to another one. Make this decision not out of frustration or desperation but after calm, measured consideration about what will make you happiest in the long term.

All of these options, each as much as the others, has you in the driver’s seat. No, we can’t control what life throws at us. But we get to decide how we’ll react to it. This is your ship! You get to steer. So start charting your course.

2016-01-07T15:24:22+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

    A:

    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

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    Q: I recently considered the possibility that I might have epididymitis from an untreated STD. If this is the case, than the situation has progressed for a couple of years. I read a post in the Q&A section about problems, which resulted from excessive masturbation. The symptoms described are similar to the ones I have experienced, but also my symptoms are similar to ones I have researched as a result of epididymitis from an untreated STD. Because of the possible effects of the condition and my reluctance to seek help, which is probably why I am in the situation, I am even more reluctant to seek medical attention now. But still, I am at the point where I must do something. I am coming to you with this situation because I have tried a few of your products and have respect for your opinion, and there is no one I can get advice from about this. Again, I am reluctant about going to a doctor because I am simply embarrassed and feel like a fool for not dealing with a problem that could have probably been easily solved, which might have now turned into anything.

    A:

    Number one, perform the Full Body Detox first and foremost. After this kit, perform the Total Male Cleanse.

    Secondly, change your diet!

    Thirdly, FORGIVE yourself. Release any regret and other negative emotions as they don't serve you, Beloved! They prevent you from healing. Let go of the past!

    Fourth, THINK POSITIVE! Know that you will be healed and soon!

    Fifth: Try dipping your penis into a bowl of cold (or room temperature) aloe vera GEL to give it some relief.

    There is healing and help for you, Beloved!

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

    Birth control pills play a big role in female reproductive cancers. Women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men. In attempting to stop or prevent life (birth control), they are ending up losing their very own lives. And the birth control pills cause cancer in areas of the body that denote femininity (breasts, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus and vagina). This is a form of language here. You have disease and female organ(s) which basically means your disease is specifically related to an issue of femaleness or femininity, that's why the disease manifests in these "female" organs. In attempting to be like and compete with males, females compromise their feminine integrity and goddess nature which "eats them up" (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.) inside. When the cancer appears in any female organ, it serves as a sign or sensor that the problem lies on a deeper metaphysical level pertaining to emotions, thoughts and attitude."

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    Q: I'm 17 years of age and go to a boarding high school in Florida. I just moved here from L.A. Over the summer. I've always been passionate about picking up valuable information that is not taught in schools. Even though I've always gotten good grades in all classes, I have always had a dislike for school. I feel like it is trapping me, because I have very little time to study topics that are truly beneficial such as law, herbs, history and many other topics. I just wanted to give you a brief background image of me; bottom line is this... I want to be part of what you are doing. I know you probably have so many positions filled. And I've never been materialistic and never liked school, but I also understand that if I want to get out in the world on my own right now I need to have a situation where I can make a sufficient amount of money to support myself. So I'm just letting you know I'm very passionate about helping people heal themselves and I would be very committed to what you are trying to accomplish in terms of healing people mentally and physically. I feel so thankful because most people don't get the opportunity to come across TRUE herbalism, TRU history, TRUE law, etc, until they are deep into adulthood, if ever. And I feel like I must fulfill my opportunity starting NOW. Because if I don't, I would be failing the mission I was incarnated here to do. Peace

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You have recognized at a very young age that school is a waste of time as measured against the subjects of your heart. Make the time to study the topics of your interest. It's well worth it, Beloved! I did it for many years of my life and when I was out of school and got into knowledge, I spent almost whole days studying the interests of my desires which has led me to the life I am now living. I'm glad I followed my heart. In regards to Dherbs, unfortunately Beloved, I am an Inter-net company only and thus have no positions available. What is your zodiac sign? Maybe we can help you to find work that is suitable to your interests. Your 10th House explains the area's best for you work-wise. Hey, thanks for reaching out, Beloved! One day I would like to employ thousands of people. If you ever want to talk or need advice, give me a call!

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    Q: I have been inquiring about curing genital herpes for the last couple months. I was advised to order the Full Body Detox 1st, then the Anti-Viral Cleanse and Regimen. I read in one of the Q&A that you should not detox at all while pregnant. What else is there for people in my situation to do to cure this disease while pregnant? I just found out that I was expecting, and was about to order the products at the same time. I do not want to abort my child due to someone passing along this terrible disease to me. I have alot of faith in God, and want healing as soon as I can receive it. I do not know what to do at this point. I feel I waited to long to try the products, but my money situation was not right. I just want to maintain a healthy system for my child. It is not his/her fault, and I do not want to punish my child for my wrongdoings. Is there anything hopeful that can be advised. Please help me!

    A:

    Please read our articles. You need knowledge because both fear, and ignorance stem from lack of knowledge. Read our articles on Pregnancy i.e. Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, and Detoxing. Perform the 10-day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse while pregnant but no other cleanse, okay!

    Article:
    Pregnancy, Breastfeeding, and Detoxing

    Product Links:
    10-Day Electric Greens Cell Food Cleanse

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    Q: My sister went to her doctor today because she has been suffering with prolonged bleeding during her period, severe pain and wanted to know what is happening to her. Her doctor examined her and saw that she has huge fibroids, which could not allow her to see her uterus. She told her that she would have to remove her womb and her ovaries as a solution to her situation. I am writing to you because I know that you have a remedy that she can take so that she does not have to remove her womb. She is so concerned right now and thought that you would be able to shed some light on her situation. I don't know for sure! Everybody is different!

    A:

    Have her: 1. Change her diet (go raw foods/vegan vegetarian) 2. Perform FULL BODY DETOX 3. Perform FIBRIOD BUSTER CLEANSE AND REGIME 4. Perform TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE

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    Q: I had a hysterectomy 8 years ago. I have been single for a number of years due to the death of my husband. I now have a wonderful man in my life and I enjoy making love with him. Often I have episodes of vaginal dryness that is so embarrassing and also it makes me loose the desire to continue because I have to use an artificial lubricant so he can penetrate me. I have looked over the list of products designed for women and I am not sure which female product that would best suits my situation. Please help.

    A:

    Please read the article "VAGINAL DRYNESS" so as to get to the root of your problem. You don't want to be dependent on a product though products can assist you.

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    Q: I have a very serious situation. My child's father has been diagnosed with Scleroderma. He has been working for Northwest Airlines for several years, and he was never a smoker. Yet, the doctors say this is what may have caused the illness. I am convinced that inhaling jet fuel fumes for many years is the culprit. What can he begin to take to heal from this disease? He was told there is no known cure, and he has not decided to go on any type of medication that they have for his coughing, and fatigue. Is there any advice for this condition? What can we read? I did not find an article on this condition on this website.

    A:

    Because the disease affects his lungs, you guys should read "Respiratory Problems" article. I highly recommend he performs the Lungs and Respiratory Cleanse. If his work schedule is too drastic to perform this, he should take a daily regimen of, Mucus Buster, Lungs and Respiratory Formula, and Electric Greens Cell Foods Formula (3 capsules of each formula every 2-3 hours a part). Start 9 a.m. Mucus Buster, 12 p.m. Lungs & Respiratory, 3 p.m. Electric Greens, etc. And because he works in a polluted environment (jet fuel fumes), have him start taking Carbon Activated Charcoal at least twice a week. Which work miracles, and pulls out all of those toxins he's inhaling. There's much help for him. He needs to act fast though. We also have an article entitled "Activated Charcoal" in our articles section.

    Article:
    Respiratory Health
    Benefits of Carbon a/k/a Activated Charcoal

    Product Links:
    Respiratory Cleanse and Regimen
    Mucus Buster Formula
    Lungs and Respiratory Formula
    Electric Greens Cell Food

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    Q: I'm a bit confused, about how the extracts work, versus doing the physical work, to work on one situation(s). Specifically the anti-hate, anti-anger extracts. These don't take the place of a therapist, or counselor? I have some severe issues with hate anger, and bitterness. I know it's keeping me from enjoying the life that God has for me. I revel by saying "I'm not going to spend the next 20 years going to a therapist". So, I guess in short, I'm trying to find a quick-fix to getting through the pain, so that I can finally keep my head above the water.

    A:

    By no means, do or should these elixirs take the place of a qualified therapist, or some other helpful assistant, worldly, spiritual or otherwise. These elixirs are just agents and should be taken in addition to other things, consulting, spiritual healing, meditation, chakra balancing, and reading positive material.

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    Q: I have a child and she will be nine this year. I have not been able to get pregnant since then, both partners I tried with; have gotten other females pregnant so why is it taking me such a long time to conceive another child. I’ve been on birth controls before and just stop because they where making my body feel weird so what would you suggest that I do about the situation.

    A:

    TIME TO REBOOT YOUR FEMALE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM. FIRST, DETOXIFY YOUR BODY (FULL BODY DETOX) NEXT, PERFORM THE TOTAL WOMAN CLEANSE. LASTLY, PERFORM THE FERTILITY CLEANSE. YOUR THOUGHTS SHOULD BE DOMINATED BY THOUGHTS OF PREGNANCY. VISUALIZE YOURSELF PREGNANT. AFFIRM YOUR FERTILITY THROUGHOUT THE DAY. USE YOUR MIND TO ACHIEVE YOUR DESIRES!

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    Q: I would like to order some cleansing products but due to my financially situation I cannot afford the package prices. So could you recommend some others that I maybe able to offered? I've never done any type of cleansing so I definitely believe I need to do so now. I'm a 37 yr old woman that’s 5'4 160 thats looking for cleansing, something for herps.

    A:

    You really need to perform the FULL BODY DETOX and ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN. For starters, start drinking vegetable juice! Take Dherbs BLOOD AND LYMPHATIC FORMULA , ANTI-VIRAL FORMULA, and start drinking our DETOX TEA. Do this for starters!

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    Q: I have a situation I think you maybe able to help me out with. Even before I completed the Full Body Cleanse and Anti-Viral Kit (because I had HSV) I was experiencing pain in my left testical and a jolting feeling in the prostate. It began about 3-4 months ago after I contracted an STD from an ex-girlfriend and before the Full Body Cleanse and Anti-Viral Cleanse (I'm not sure if it was a result of the std or from the excessive bike riding I do) The pain has diminished a lot from a few months back. However it's still occasional and I?ve noticed now that I'm in a relationship and sexually active again that I have an orgasm a loooot sooner than I did prior to those 3-4 months ago. Hours compared to minutes now. And once I do I feel a sensitive sensation (not pain) in the left testicle. I visited a Urologist a few months ago for testing and he did a ultra scan, test etc. and said he didn't see anything wrong. Can you recommend anything that would correct this and get me back to my normal Stallion like self (smile)? Thanks again and you're always in my prayers.

    A:

    The pain/sensation in the left testicle is conveying a message to you - REPAIR and REJUVENATE your sexual system. Read our article entitled TESTICULAR HEALTH.

    Try the Male Cleanse and/or Jackrabbit (3 capsules), Prostate Formula (3 capsules), Male Hormonal Formula (3 capsules), MSM Sulfur (3 capsules) and drink 1 cup of the Male Health tea every day. These formulas help to provide essential nutrients conducive to male sexual reproductive health.

    Also, you can use the Alpha Male Oil and massage your testicles with your hands 2-3 times a week to nourish, rejuvenate, and repair the testicles, prostate gland, and penis.

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    Q: I read most of your articles. Love them. What you say is 100% correct. See for me. I believe that God has put me here for a reason. I have been blessed with the ability to for see things and when I think about something hard enough BAM!! I think of someone and they show up, so in regards to my current situation YES. I did have a hand in this. I keep thinking of not wanting to get HIV. Didn’t want to hear about or talk about it. Then two months before getting my initial test. It was on my mind. Then I got a physical and I was like no going to take this test but went ahead anyway and here we are. Do I believe in it? Not anymore. I now believe in blood toxicity. I am not freaking out about outbreaks because I don't have any. What I want is to know how to shape my mind. Do I need Chakra balance? What can I do to stop the thoughts? How do I reverse my mind to stop thinking on things. I try so hard to see happy things and feel happy thoughts. BTW in Jan I thought about a cold sore and it appeared.

    A:

    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

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    Q: Sir, I'm trying to be brave about my situation but because my breast is rock hard and from my nipple to my underarm looks like a tree stump it's very hard to concentrate on anything else. I just don't want to get my breast cut off and I'm just praying that your herbs will help. I started on some herbs when all this started and did not see any changes except for maybe my breast getting worst. I'm not sure if I am asking a question or just merely expressing my feelings and thoughts.

    A:

    Beloved, where thought goes energy flows. You need to work on controlling your concentration. If not, what you fear will appear. This is law! Herbs will take time to heal just as it took time for the problem to develop and eventually manifest. Patience is required for Nature to do her thing. The herbs will help but true healing is within the mind.

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    Q: I have a situation. I am allergic to shrimp (yes insects of the sea), and even though I don't eat them. I was told that this is due to the high amount of iodide in shrimp, etc. At one point I was told that I have an over active Thyroid as well. My question to you is, if one needs Iodide to balance out an overactive thyroid but they are allergic to Iodide how can this be solved without causing discomfort?

    A:

    Natural iodine will not cause a problem with human health, only man-made (unnatural) pharmaceutical iodine. The Matrix has really confused us, beloved. Let us turn back to Nature!

    Any thyroid condition can be fixed with natural iodine (Iodine Phosphate) which we sell at Dherbs!

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    Q: Hi Dherbs. I'm pregnant. I've been slacking off with my diet for years now, eating just about every bad thing but pork. I had gestational diabetes with my last pregnancy. Now I may have it again with my current pregnancy at 4 months. They're going to give me the 3 hr test and I know they'll try to make me take insulin. I really don't want to shoot myself with needles. It wasn't a pleasant experience last time. Anyway to make a long story short, I wanted to know if the following would be good products to work on the situation: FULL BODY DETOX SUGAR BUSTER TEA PANCREAS FORMULA Would any of these pose a problem or interact poorly with my baby? Do you suggest any other effective formula of yours to improve my glucose uptake and general health during this pregnancy?

    A:

    I highly suggest the 10-DAY ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD CLEANSE for pregnant women. This cleanse will help to address all your needs and all health concerns. You can perform it as much as you like too! It provides great nutrition for mother and developing child.

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    Q: Who do you believe in? What is your spiritual belief? I noticed that the supplements have Egyptian people and symbols - why is this?

    A:

    I believe in the Universe, Nature, the spirit world, and magic. I believe in the ability of one to take hold of their own life and direct the course of one's own destiny.

    I don't believe in anything mad-made, including religion, which has helped to greatly mess up the world and confuse the hell out of people.

    I believe in the unity of the human family. I believe in peace, freedom, justice, and love!

    I use Egyptian people and symbols because these people were the ancestors of great people from lost continents that were super-human beings. Modern civilization came from the Nile Valley. The Egyptians were an awesome people and most of your modern major arts, crafts, and sciences came out of Egypt including healing.

    I am acknowledging the Egyptians with their symbols on my bottles.

    However, the picture on the bottle is not the power, but the herbs in the capsules within each and every bottle of every formula sold.

    I trust the above suffices your inquiry!

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    Q: I found out about your website and that you offer different treatments to improve other people's health. My question is that I have a relative, my aunt to be more specific; she suffers from a bipolar disorder which is getting worse and does not improve with any kind of drug. She is getting hospitalized in a mental hospital by tomorrow morning and I do not feel too comfortable with this situation therefore I wanted to ask you about any treatment that you might offer for this type of disorder. I really do not think that hospitalizing her in a mental hospital will do the work, if you could please write back to me by tomorrow. She has tried Reconnective Healing and it seems to help her relax but it does not take the symptoms away.

    A:

    I would recommend that your aunt give our Nerves Formula, Central Nervous System Formula, and Brain Booster Formula and Elixir #6 and Elixer #7 a try for bipolar.

     

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    Q: Thank you for taking out the time to reply. What do you make of the opinions of opponents of consumption of mono-atomic gold, touting it as a secret mind-control serum and other such commentary?

    A:

    It's hogwash! The ancients used this stuff. If it was for mind control and brainwashing purposes, how many people do you know who can afford this stuff? It's too expensive for most people. They don't want people to use this stuff and become spiritually conscious. Don't you think they would promote something cheaper and that everyone can get access to or afford if they wanted to brainwash folks? Mono-atomic Gold is AWESOME! It is not for the masses!