Hope For Your Behind: Great Toilet Paper Alternatives

Hope For Your Behind: Great Toilet Paper Alternatives

These are strange times in which we are living. Empty shelves where toilet paper used to be have become a normal sight in your average store. Fighting over hand sanitizer and toilet paper is not the answer to a healthier future, people. Nonetheless, you may need to start thinking about some toilet paper alternatives if you can’t find any. We hope this post becomes irrelevant in the future, but we’d be doing a disservice if we didn’t highlight ways to keep your behind clean.

We must not forget that humans lived without toilet paper for thousands of years. It is possible to make it through life without it, especially since there are infinite modern conveniences that didn’t exist back then. That being said, people should not flush anything other than toilet paper down the toilet. If you do so, you can compromise the septic system and cause back-ups or additional work for septic or municipal companies. In fact, many towns are already dealing with the aftermath of people flushing the wrong things down toilets. Filling a receptacle with used toilet paper alternatives is a foreign concept for many of you, but it may be a necessary sacrifice to make.

Don’t call 9-1-1 if you run out of toilet paper. They cannot help you and it is not an emergency crisis.

If you’ve exhausted all of the grocery stores, major retailers, and online shopping, know that they will eventually have plenty of toilet paper back in stock. Additionally, watch out for price gougers online that are trying to sell packs of toilet paper for hundreds of dollars. If you happen to be running low and don’t want to keep going from store to store, increasing your risk of viral exposure, save time and learn about the following toilet paper alternatives.


The bidet is very popular in many countries around the world, but Americans haven’t caught on to the trend yet. This is probably the number one toilet paper alternative, but they are selling more so don’t wait too long if you are considering one. From bidets that are separate from your toilet to bidets that can be added to your toilet seat, many types exist and are decently priced and easy to install. Bidets save money, trees, and water your butt. People who use bidets often find that their tushies are much happier.

Use Towels Or Family Cloth

Cloth diapers were a thing once, right? Well, some argue that they are still the only way to go. Let’s take a page of the baby playbook and use family cloth that includes rags, flannel cloth, fabric squares, and other cloth-like materials. Towels can also be another option. All you have to do is cut towels into smaller squares and use them to wipe. Keep clean towels in a basket on top of the toilet and place the used ones in an airtight, waterproof container next to the toilet. Don’t forget to use the softest materials that you can find. Old T-shirts, flannel blankets, old bed sheets, or worn out socks are great options. Wash the used cloths as you would cloth diapers.

Get In The Shower

If you are opposed to using towels and cloth, hop in the shower if toilet paper shortages become a serious concern. It is best if you have a showerhead that is attached to a hose so you can hold it in your hand. After you do your business, hop in the shower, rinse yourself, rinse off, and towel off afterwards. This method probably gets you cleaner than wiping with toilet paper anyways!

Random Paper Products

These products are not necessarily environmentally friendly, nor are they the best toilet paper alternatives. When you are looking at the last few sheets of your last roll of toilet paper and don’t have any other options, these items may come in handy. Once again, these products should not be flushed down the toilet. You may want to use:

Coffee Filters: These are relatively cheap at the store and work decently as an alternative to toilet paper.

Facial Tissues: Tissues are great for wiping and keeping your behind clean.

Newspaper: This is probably the roughest of the bunch and we don’t encourage it unless absolutely necessary.


While these are more fitted for a camping or survival scenario, certain plants make excellent toilet paper alternatives. Ideally, you want to look for soft leaves and make sure that the plants you choose are not harmful to the skin. Some of the best plants include:

Moss: Moss is very soft and typically found in damp environments. From your backyard to the forest, moss grows easily and can be useful in a pinch. Don’t forget to inspect it for bugs.

Mullein and Lamb’s Ear: These are water absorbent, fuzzy leafed plants that are very common. Keep your eyes open for them.

Corn Husks: Traditionally, corn husks were actually used as toilet paper. Green husks are soft, which is optimal, so make sure to soak dry husks in water if you use them.

There is so much that we cannot control right now, but we find reassurance in learning about creative ways to make the best of the situation.

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