This stopped the whole office. We were laughing so hard. Here are the lyrics:
Hello, it’s me.
I’ve avoided you forever, while consuming calories.
I love donuts, mac and cheese.
They say kale has antioxidants, but I’m anti-leafy greens.Hello, can you save me?
I’m in calisthenics, dreaming ’bout Netflix and Mickey D’s.
When I was younger, these jeans —
used to fit me, now my booty’s got them boosting at the seams.
There’s more circumference to my gut and no gap between my thighs.Hella cravings for some fries.
I did one push-up and then I cried.
And my glutes are shaking every time I lunge.
And this gluten-free bread tastes just like a sponge.Hella pizza late at night.
I keep saying just one more slice.
And I feel so hangry breakfast, dinner, and lunch.
And the ice cream truck is the only reason I run —
anymore.Hello, crossfit fanatic.
I know what you’re gonna say: I’ll get addicted once I’m at it.
And I know you mean well.
But if you shout at me just one more time, I might commence to snapping.
It’s not secret that that Zumba Class is the last thing on my mind.Hello, stationary bike.
That’s not sweat, my body’s crying.
Emotional scarring, every squat that I’ve done.
And this veggie smoothie makes me want to throw up.Hello wine and bagel bites
Krispy Kreme gives me life.
And I feel so hangry breakfast, dinner, and lunch.
And the ice cream truck is the only reason I run… anymore.
