Video Parody: Hella Cravings for Some Fries

This stopped the whole office. We were laughing so hard. Here are the lyrics:

Hello, it’s me.
I’ve avoided you forever, while consuming calories.
I love donuts, mac and cheese.
They say kale has antioxidants, but I’m anti-leafy greens.

Hello, can you save me?
I’m in calisthenics, dreaming ’bout Netflix and Mickey D’s.
When I was younger, these jeans —
used to fit me, now my booty’s got them boosting at the seams.
There’s more circumference to my gut and no gap between my thighs.

Hella cravings for some fries.
I did one push-up and then I cried.
And my glutes are shaking every time I lunge.
And this gluten-free bread tastes just like a sponge.

Hella pizza late at night.
I keep saying just one more slice.
And I feel so hangry breakfast, dinner, and lunch.
And the ice cream truck is the only reason I run —
anymore.

Hello, crossfit fanatic.
I know what you’re gonna say: I’ll get addicted once I’m at it.
And I know you mean well.
But if you shout at me just one more time, I might commence to snapping.
It’s not secret that that Zumba Class is the last thing on my mind.

Hello, stationary bike.
That’s not sweat, my body’s crying.
Emotional scarring, every squat that I’ve done.
And this veggie smoothie makes me want to throw up.

Hello wine and bagel bites
Krispy Kreme gives me life.
And I feel so hangry breakfast, dinner, and lunch.
And the ice cream truck is the only reason I run… anymore.

 

2016-01-08T15:36:03+00:00

Related Questions

  • Click here to view in a new window

    Q: Do you have any suggestions for a breakfast, lunch & dinner schedule? I'm making the transition to a healthier diet due to fibroid tumors. Currently I have broken my eating menu into 3 parts, breakfast - fruits, lunch - salads, & dinner - baked potato or any other heavy meal I intend to eat. Is this a good start? Any suggestions you can give on healthier meals for dinner are most appreciated.

    A:

    Please purchase our ALTERNATIVE DIET AND LIFESTYLES MANUAL e-book for the alternatives you seek. It's a great little resource, especially for new people starting their transition diet. You off to a good start, Beloved!

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    Q: I read most of your articles. Love them. What you say is 100% correct. See for me. I believe that God has put me here for a reason. I have been blessed with the ability to for see things and when I think about something hard enough BAM!! I think of someone and they show up, so in regards to my current situation YES. I did have a hand in this. I keep thinking of not wanting to get HIV. Didn’t want to hear about or talk about it. Then two months before getting my initial test. It was on my mind. Then I got a physical and I was like no going to take this test but went ahead anyway and here we are. Do I believe in it? Not anymore. I now believe in blood toxicity. I am not freaking out about outbreaks because I don't have any. What I want is to know how to shape my mind. Do I need Chakra balance? What can I do to stop the thoughts? How do I reverse my mind to stop thinking on things. I try so hard to see happy things and feel happy thoughts. BTW in Jan I thought about a cold sore and it appeared.

    A:

    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

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    Q: I've been taking the Full Body Cleanse for almost 2 weeks. In general, I feel much better. My question is if I can eat spirulina. and/or Ultimate Meal (mainly is Quinoa, millet, brown rice, yellow pea protein, spirulina and another natural ingredients) as breakfast or lunch. In case you do not know Ultimate Meal you can see it at www.ultimatelife.com Thank you. Ricardo. Your customer service rep told me after full body detox is good to take cholesterol formula. Is enough or Do I need to take lose weight tabs? after the full body cleanse? I am taking care of my diet and exercise 3 -4 times a week 2 hours each with stationary bike or tread mill and exercises with weights.

    A:

    Spirulina and Ultimate Meal are excellent supplementary products to take in order for your body to receive an adequate amount of protein while on the cleanse.

    Yes, take Cholesterol Formula (and Intestinal Cleanser) after you complete the cleanse. These products will serve as a transitionary period as your body slowly accustoms to returning back to normal routines.

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    Q: Is it alright to drink part of your fruits and veggies? I have a fruit smoothie for breakfast, and veggie drink in between lunch and dinner, nuts and a piece of fruit in between and a salad and a piece of fruit for dinner.

    A:

    Yes, you may drink part of your fruits and vegetables. As long as they are FRESHLY SQUEEZED

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    Q: I know your very busy, but I would be very appreciative if you could help me in any way that you can. I'm 22 with a 7 month old baby, with no support from my family. Over the last 3 months the father decided that he doesn't love me anymore, and has done an obscene about of things to disrespect me. Which leaves me hurt, and stressed out! I'm mentally, spiritually, and physically drained. I have no peace of mind, and I tend to fall in and out of depression. I feel like I'm going to breakdown, and the tears just won't stop falling. I'm trying to keep it together for my baby. Internally, I've been hurt so bad, I just feel like giving up. How can you love someone one minute, and the next not care for them at all? How do I deal with her father? I'm so tired of being the bigger person, and trying to work through things. He just doesn't care at all, and he makes no effort to even try. He then turns around and says, "He cares about his daughter". I try to explain to him that our relationship affects her, but he always has an answer for everything. I don't mean to dampen you with my problems, but I would appreciate it if you could not only hear me, but feel me and what I'm going through. Every little bit helps

    A:

    Greetings, Beloved! You are upset because you expect something and expectation is your problem. You are expecting something beyond your control, expecting something coming from another person you can't control. Just do you and let karma take care of this dude. You just can't up and not love someone anymore. He's either saying that so as to bounce from the scene (leave) and his responsibilities or he never loved you in the first place and perhaps used you for his own purposes of sexual gratification and you ended up getting pregnant. At either rate, just do you and focus on you - what you desire for you and your child. Think positive! Let go of the situation involving this dude. Start on it TODAY! The dude is selfish and creating karma! Release him! You can't make a person do something that is not in them to do.

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    Q: I'm currently on day 3 of the FULL BODY DETOX and would like to know what exactly I can eat. I've only had water, tea, and oranges for breakfast, salads for lunch and dinner with a few cashew nuts in between. I would like to know exactly what you mean by combining foods together. Example, oranges and apples, are you saying they're not to be eaten together? If not, why?

    A:

    The ALTERNATIVE DIET AND LIFESTYLES MANUAL list great food alternatives during the detox. Food combining means do not eat foods not in the same category. Don't mix an acid fruit with a melon fruit. Don't mix fruit with vegetables. Don't mix acid fruit with sweet fruit, etc. Eat sweet fruit with other sweet fruit. Eat sub-acid fruit with sub-acid fruit. You wouldn't eat an orange (acid fruit) with an apple (sub-acid fruit). They are not in the same family.

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    Q: Hello, I've been following the cleanse as it says in the book. My baby now refuses to drink from my breasts I’m so upset. He's been crying constantly for two days. I've been ill and vomiting constantly for the same amount of time. This is no coincidence. Today I've only drank water as the thought of anything else makes me feel ill. Every glass of water I've drank I've vomited. I feel so weak and sad The cleansing is just potent on your system. Take a day or two off and resume the cleanse again but only by taking 2-3 capsules at a time, not 5 at a time. Yes, others have experienced what you're experiencing. Follow the advice above and you'll be fine. What are you eating also? I would like to know. Thank you!

    A:

    Please look up VOMITTING in the "DETOX TROUBLESHOOTING"and read the article "HEALING CRISIS" in our articles section. Also, babies don't receive toxins from breast milk but they will receive the benefits and cleansing effects of the herbs as well.

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    Q: I have incorporated fish into my diet because I have been craving. Is moderation okay.... meaning my fruits for breakfast a regular lunch with salad and a salad for dinner okay to pretty much moderate other foods? It is challenging for me to become a vegan. Do you have any suggestions on how to still eat healthy to maintain an alkalized body with certain foods with moderation that are not raw? I still drink my green veggies at least twice a day. I am praying that my results will be negative.

    A:

    FISH IN MODERATION IS OKAY FOR YOU. TO MAINTAIN ALKALINITY, DESPITE THE ACID-FORMING THINGS YOU EAT, JUST MAKE SURE TO EAT AS MANY GREEN FOODS AS POSSIBLE. YOU CAN ALSO TAKE 6 CAPSULES OF ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD TOO! YOU’RE DOING GOOD SO KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS POSITIVE AND ON YOUR DESIRES.

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    Q: How do you feel about Stevia? Is it safe to have on a daily basis? I bought Stevia (in tea form). The box says it is a premium quality stevia. I seem to have terrible sweet cravings. (I am not diabetic). This is why I bought Stevia. Do you offer supplements to help one with sweet cravings?

    A:

    Stevia is one of the few sweeteners (along with Agave and Grade B Maple Syrup) that are allowed.

    If you would like to further address your sweet cravings, try Sugar Control Formula.

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    Q: Today makes day 9 of my FULL BODY DETOX (FBD). This morning I have an outbreak on my hand. I have been practicing telling myself I am Healing, but my job is stressful and yesterday I had a stressful day and this morning the outbreak on my right hand. Could this be part of my healing process? Can you suggest what I can do to alleviate the stress at work so this will not block my healing process of herpes? I am following the diet; however I have been kind of burnt out at times on the salads so I at least eat a salad and a bowl of steamed brown rice and frozen green peas that are steamed for 3 min. Is that considered following the diet? I still eat my fruit for breakfast daily, my salad for lunch and steamed broccoli (5min) and for dinner another salad, but for a few days I have eaten the rice and steam green peas. I basically want to know is it alright so if I eat it in the future.

    A:

    You have to learn to deal with your stress and stop reacting to it. Your subconscious mind is greatly blocked and therefore you have to realize your healing will come very slow. At a deep level you still believe herpes is incurable and your body is giving you this (despite the healing crisis of outbreaks on the hand). Your dietary deviation is understandable and not that bad but if you are tiring of salads opt for other things to eat. We list a few raw foods alternative recipes in our "ALTERNATIVE DIET AND LIFESTYLES MANUAL" e-book available for download. Check it out!

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    Q: I'm a 21 year old male suffering from testicular disorder and from partial impotence (Takes longer than 5 minutes without porn to get hard and no morning erections). Here are my questions. 1. How long would it take for the Male Hormonal Formula (which I just purchased a few days ago) before I notice any results? Just curious. 2. Can take the three daily pills all at once, one before each meal (breakfast, lunch dinner), or what? 3. How much water should I drink with this and can other drinks like tea and juice act as a substitute for just plain water?

    A:

    How fast you see results with the Male Hormonal Formula all depends on how much your body needs to cleanse before it returns to optimal function!

    You can take all 3 capsules at once.

    You can drink water or substitute water with herbal tea or fresh juice.

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    Q: What's the best way to start on a vegan/raw food diet? I am not sure what to eat to make sure I would get a nutritious diet-you may not be able to go into that much detail but how can I get sample meal plans for breakfast, lunch and dinner incorporating this type of diet-perhaps there is somewhere on the web I find something like this? Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

    A:

    If I do say myself, the best way to start a raw food diet is to be coached by me. I run a 6 month health coaching program that is 60-90 percent raw and 100 percent vegan/gluten free/ allergy free. You can find out more about my program at www.theveganeffect.com. I am running a special of half off my program if you sign up before march 1st. 

    Here are some other tips to get started.

    1: Join a raw food meetup group or community. Surround yourself with supportive people who can point you in the right direction. Try meetup.org or 30bananasaday.com 

    2: Read books like "beauty detox solution" by snyder, "80/10/10" by Dr. Graham., or "The Paradigm diet" by Adam Dave

    3: Start simple with breakfast. Always start your day with a green smoothie. read "Green smoothie revolution" by forget authors name at the moment. heh.

    A sample meal plan would be.

    Breakfast: Green smoothie

    Bridge: raw bar, handful of nuts or seeds, or fruit

    Lunch: Raw wraps made from collard greens. use a base of tahini, hummus, or nut butter. Fill with sprouts and colorful veggies

    Bridge: raw bar, handful nuts or seeds, or fruit

    Dinner: Raw pasta with a large salad

    Snack: Sorbet 

     

    Hope that answers your question,

    Gary Gibson HHC CPT VLC BMI

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    Q: Hi I am on the 5th day and I had a lunch on today. I ate shrimp spinach salad?does that affect my detox? I feel very bad.

    A: In order to achieve the best results, you should remain on a raw foods diet for the duration. However, if you slip up, get right back on track with the raw foods diet and finish the cleanse! You can receive many of the beneficial effects of the cleanse still.

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    Q: Dear Yogi, I read an article on your site about reverse Kundalini (anal sex). I don't know if you can answer my question or not - originally I was going to pose it to "Ask the Guru", but in my limited understanding, Kundalini is tied into yoga. I have been trying to get balanced by meditating, living my passions, writing, art, and belly dancing all unprofessionally, except for the first one (on a very small scale). I have been doing guided chakra meditations and other things, including yoga, and some dietary modifications. I feel I am gradually growing and living my purpose. However, incrementally starting in my mid forties. Anyway, I have been on this path for a couple of years now, and have more happiness and peace than I ever have. I don't want to get into a lengthy essay about my limited understanding of Kundalini, and the possibility of what I perceive is going on with my body (though I am very healthy) right now, so I will attempt to get to the point. I am grateful for my life. I have much more than many people if I were to measure. I feel like I am still blocked, though. About three years ago I dated a guy who sodomized me one time. He was a rapist, long story short and an error in judgement on my part. Though my intuition was screaming at me the whole time. I look at the experience as pushing me further along my path and teaching me to trust, love, respect myself, and defend my boundaries. What concerns me is that I feel that experience is still trapped within me to a degree, and I am worried that it will manifest into a disease. Often when I meditate on my root chakra I start crying. Part of me believes that I can't force anything, just have to let the process unfold in its own time. There is so much info out there that I find it overwhelming, and it is hard to know which to trust. So I have just been going with what resonates with me as far as technique. If you could offer me any advice, I would be grateful.

    A:

    Hello, I would like to first thank you for sharing your story and your experience. It sounds like you are devoting time and attention to the many things, that will help foster a sustained health and healing for you in life. As you have recognized, it is very helpful for us to take intuition very seriously and to honor this innate ability to discern whether a situation will be harmful or beneficial to our growth and experience as humans. Very often the circumstances and challenges presented to us in life, as happened in yours, serve as great teachers in allowing us to witness our own great strength, compassion, and value. I am glad to hear that you have been able to take the very difficult situation you found yourself in and use your experience to create a better understanding of yourself in the process. While it is true that we tend to develop patterns of holding and habitual ways of holding tension within the body; this does not mean that there are not steps you can take to move through such a body, mind, and spirit experience. The fact that you are crying upon meditating on your root chakra is a sign that you have made yourself available to the grief that naturally accompanies traumatic situations such as the one you experienced. Keep in mind that when we deeply grieve, our bodies are able to express the energy that may have potentially been repressed during this experience. The energy of the root chakra is all about our ability to feel safe, strong, and supported. The violation of this energy can leave one feeling ungrounded and striving for our self-preservation. Try not to become fixated on the worries you are having about the experience arising as disease in your body, as worrying can lead to increased levels of chronic stress, which will potentially create an internal environment more vulnerable to disease - which is what you are trying to avoid. It might be nice for you to meditate on your right to be here, to exist on this planet, and to be valued. It may also be very nice for you to take some restorative yoga classes, which can be grounding and stimulating to the parasympathetic nervous system (assists in the healing process). Recognize that the body may be holding energy in a direct response to a real threat, but begin to create a safe, loving and supportive environment to allow yourself to begin to be able to let go of this holding as you feel safe. When working to heal the first chakra, it is helpful to get in touch with the direct experience of the sensations of the body and become aware of the physical experience of the body. This can be done with the assistance of an expert, to help you change the physical expression of your felt experience. We could also do something called "body dialogue" to put you more deeply in touch with what the physical expression you are experiencing has to teach you about how you are inhabiting the world you are in. There are also many forms of grounding exercises which can help to balance the first chakra. If you are interested in being lead through a series of guided meditations, please contact me at megan@ritualwellbeing.com. Namaste, Megan

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    Q: I have a tendency to feel nervous and bored like for no reason at all, will the NERVES FORMULA work for me or what other herb off the website would you recommend?

    A:

    YES, GIVE THE NERVES FORMULA A TRY. THIS COULD BE MORE MENTAL AND EMOTIONAL THAN ANYTHING ELSE.

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    Q: At this time I would like to share, and ask for prayer until I am in a better financial situation to purchase items from your site. On February 25th, a day after my birthday, I am having an outpatient procedure done to excise areas affected by the HPV virus down below. I am terrified and don't want to go through with it, but at this time I feel I have to. I am so anxious and excited about gettings things together to be able to purchase the Full Body Cleanse, and anything else that I will need. I have struggled for years with issues concerning my female organs, pain with PMS, never been pregnant (don't think I can), and ovarian cysts. I just want my life back, I want energy and I want to feel and be healthy! I visit the site almost every single day, and I find it so interesting. It just makes me say," I can't wait to do this!" Since, I don't know where to start, I will schedule a visit so I know exactly what I need after the Full Body Cleanse.

    A:

    Please take time to read the following article Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). Until you can afford the cleanse your body start eating plenty of raw vegetables, and fresh fruit daily.

     

     

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    Q: I have a question for you. Do you have or recommend an herbal cellulite cream that can be used as a body wraps to lose inches? There are so many products on the market and no one knows if they truly work or not. Is there an herbal body cream that I could use to shrink the fat cells in my stomach area? I have done a body detox and have been dieting for the past year. Hope you can help me to find the perfect herbal body cream that will help me.

    A:

    Cellulite doesn't come from a crème so it can't be healed with a crème. Cellulite is the result of diet and lifestyle so you have to make the necessary changes to your diet and lifestyle. Period! You're dealing with the Law of Cause and Effect here. The cause of cellulite is poor eating and lifestyle habits and the effect of poor dieting and lifestyle is disease, i.e. cellulite. I suggest you keep on detoxing! These wraps only work minimally, but it's cutting corners because even after having them performed you are still toxic inside - a walking time bomb!

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    Q: My anti-viral kit is almost complete but I feel that I need more time to heal/be cured. What do you suggest I do to continue a healing process?

    A:

    If you don't feel your healing is complete, you can perform another Anti-Viral Kit and Regimen. Everyone's body heals differently.

    Or perform the Full Body Cleanse. The Full Body Cleanse is great at nourishing and strengthening all the body's systems and organs.

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    Q: I am very sensitive. I feel like there are invisible things entering my body. I feel things going into my feet, my crown, my female parts the openings of my body. I keep having serious lung problems. I saw something dark jump into my chest. I feel it moving thru my body, like a snake. I have been checked for parasites but nothing was found. I had all types of x-rays and blood tests done, but nothing found. I am of sound mind and strong in my faith. I sometimes see brown or white oil spots on my car and on the ground where I walk. By the time I past this I begin to have these sensations. I believe this is a bacteria by nature or man that is causing this problem. I went for acupuncture for the problem the Chinese man said something was in my body. Have you heard of this problem before? Do you think you can help me? Thank you for taking the time to read this.

    A:

    Spiritual healing and cleansing are my areas of expertise! Please consider a consultation ($100, 1-hour). There is much you can do to heal from these attached entities that have entered your body via your chakras. Your feet have chakras, your vagina has a chakra, and your crown has a chakra. No coincidence you feel things going on in these chakra centers. I can help you! There's nothing to worry about. Every problem has a solution or answer. Please call 866-434-3727 or 323-817-9929 to schedule.

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    Q: Hi! I just found this site and am intrigued. I love the fact that everything is so pure and natural! I was wondering how effective the wild yam birth control is? I would love to not be on this depo shot anymore because the hormones drive me crazy. But my husband and I are extremely fertile, so taking wild yam kind of makes me nervous. Thanks!

    A:

    Wild yam is very effective as an herbal birth control! Very! Just follow the instructions and you'll be fine!