THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! Day 12

0-195395600-abraham-blog

 

The Skin I Live In :
The Sh*t Burgers Will Make You Do!

What do you get when you cross a McDonald’s drive thru, a late night taco spot and a 24 hours Rally Burger?  Baaaaaaabi! Let me tell you! An episode of magnanimous proportion!  Oh! Tonight…was no F’ing joke.  Fits, fights and a whole damn break down.  Found myself in a corner parking lot having to pull it together!!!

Oh, I can laugh now, but at the time, I truly felt that life had something against me.  There I was, on the Battle Field as Ms. Sparks (Jordan) would say.   Warring with myself, fed up with shrubbery and nuts and berries- and ready to cut any brave food attendant who would suggest that I order a salad.  I mean it was an all out War!  I wish I were playing.  I do, truly.  But I’m so serious.   Here I am, Day 18 of my full-body cleanse; forward thinking, working-out and hell, even encouraging people.  Hhm, thought I had this thing down packed…lol.  That’s a lie! Or is it.

Wrote a song `bout it, like to hear it, here it go!

I pulled into the McDonald’s ready to order- I was gonna have a few chicken nuggets and fries… Oh yeah, I was serious.  This damn cleanse had been in line for too long as far as I was concerned.  Ordered, pulled up… getting ready to pay, thank God there were several cars in front of me… thought to myself, self, “this is to fattening and overpriced.  So I pulled out of the line and across the street into the taco spot I would frequent not so long ago.  Hell, even got greeted by Sam “where you been?  Looked at the menu…”you ready yet” Not yet I thought as I fawned over the luxurious and glistening taco platters and nachos etc…”you ready boss?  Looked over the menu some more and pulled out of yet another line… Heard Sam yell “thanks for nothing” as I (clearing my throat…) pulled into Rally’s instead.  I thought, well I know Rally’s will do the trick.  Took my time, licked my lips as the attendant whispered almost seductively to me (at least in my head that’s how it went) “ready to order yet?  “Yes! I’ll have the crispy fish sandwich and thee (yes…and thee…lol) Hell, you know Rally’s/Checker’s and their two for 3$.

Anyways, as I was saying…lol.

Yes, I’ll have the Crispy Fish sandwich” and then it hit me… as I looked at the calories for every item… I thought about how long I’d have to workout, ride a bike, hear Coach’s mouth…and Lord knows I’m not in the mood to hear my self say I quit… I finished my order and then, you guessed it; backed out of yet another line.  I pulled into the adjacent parking lot and sat there.  I thought about calling my life coach, my DHerbs specialist and even my God.  Ultimately I called-on myself, and the little bit of strength I had left in my body.  I sat there for about maybe 90 seconds; trying to find a reason other than I don’t want to quit (my weight-loss journey).  Tonight “I don’t want to quit” unfortunately was not enough, but I landed at something much bigger… crying out, literally Lord I don’t want to Die!  In literal tears I thought about how weak I looked…but God is so…Ahhhhh.  He’s so absolutely amazing.

It took tonight’s experience to show me just how Strong I Am.  Not weak at all, not whack or lazy, but full, rich and determined.  Tonight I proved to myself that I am the warrior He’s called me to be and also the decision I’ve made, I’m sticking with it!  Sometime we don’t even know we’re in the fight of our lives until our lives are on the line.  I quickly hauled my whole ass up out of there and damn near ran through the door to a piece of watermelon.

Look, I never thought I’d be telling anyone about my weird excursions, I almost chose not to write about this one.  But then I thought to myself- “who am I to not tell the truth about the process of making it to my goal?  People all and every day surround us with this picture perfect image of how “easy” it is to make things happen and that simply is Not the truth.  You want to get to your goals, what ever they are, well damn-it it’s gonna take work, and sweat and tears and pushing and falling and getting back up again.

I definitely don’t want you to be mislead, eating fresh and making better choices is a great thing and I’m happy I’ve made the decision.  I also however want you to know that I struggle just like you do.  Making drastic life changes and choices often suffers adverse reactions and can feel mountainous.  I like to share my little war anecdotes, 1, because they’re funny and 2, because they’re real.  Make no mistake- I’m happy with my choice to eat clean and feel that it’s the best thing for me. I’ve begun to see the changes in just a short while and I feel them too.  How else would I be able to run from rehearsals to stage, filming and teaching to boxing and workout sessions if I didn’t have a new-found energy.  The hard times come with it is all.  :)

I thank God for the “after midnight “ test I got… It shows and proves to me that anything and every curve ball thrown at ya boy is gonna get knocked out of the park, every time.

I’m a winner because I’ve chosen to Win!

Now! I’m off to bed before a burger comes flying through my damn window…. and I catch it.

Night y’all.

Tonight’s post is dedicated to a gladiator, a king, a warm spirit and amazing energy, Michael Clarke Duncan.  You will be sorely missed. 12/10/1957 – 09/03/2012

2012-09-13T10:28:00+00:00

Related Questions

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    Q: I recently went to the hospital and I thought I had the virus in the hospital the nurses were very negative towards me. I was given bad medication and as a result I had all the symptoms of the virus when I left the hospital and I am still testing negative and I feel like they have given me bad meds to try to kill me. I don't look the same every time I drink something that has acid in it, it makes my skin turn red and now when I go out I feel that everyone with the virus know what the hospital has done to me people just laugh knowing that the hospital nurse gave me a HIV cocktail. What can I do? I have been to the doctor numerous times and it seems like every thing I touch has germs and it’s getting inside of my body. I was treated really unfair. Now in the community where I live also.

    A:

    IF THEY DID SLIP YOU A HIV COCKTAIL, HERE'S WHAT I SUGGEST: PERFORM THE FULL BODY DETOX AND DRINK DETOX TEA WHILE DETOXING. YOU SHOULD BE FINE AFTER THIS. FOCUS ON POSITIVE THOUGHTS ONLY. NO NEGATIVE THINKING!

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    Q: I am only on the second day of the full body cleanse and I am experiencing a migraine headache to the point i am ready to throw-up. Normally I would take prescribed medication, but after reading the FAQ's I thought I would see how long I could go without it. It doesn't look like much longer. What do you suggest?

    A:

    While we don't give medical advice, the choice is basically up to you to make your own decision. Do what you feel is best!

    Migraine headaches (headaches) are explained on our Detox Troubleshooter sheet. Basically, you are very toxic! Drink plenty of water and make sure you are getting enough to eat. Have some healthy fats like avocado or brazil nuts to keep you satiated.

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    Q: I am only on the second day of the full body cleanse and I am experiencing a migraine headache to the point I am ready to throw-up. Normally I would take prescribed medication, but after reading the FAQ's I thought I would see how long I could go without it. It doesn't look like much longer. What do you suggest?

    A:

    Make sure you are eating enough, consuming 3 regular meals a day with enough healthy fats and protein. Also, drink plenty of water, at least half your body weight in ounces.

    Also, you may experience adverse symptoms when you begin the Cleanse, as the formulas work to remove the toxins in your body. Please note that these symptoms should diminish as the days go by.

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    A:

    The Full Body Cleanse will greatly help your body to remove toxins.

    One of our teas you will want to drink daily is the Detox Tea, along with a number of other teas. Please check our online store for a full list.

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    Q: Hello... I apologize for the length of this because I understand how precious your time is. About 2 weeks ago I had a one-night stand. We used a flavored condom. A few days after I began to have some vaginal itching, which I disregarded as yeast infection I took some black walnut hulls but that did and the itching subsided it a bit. I decided to buy some vagisil (I know its toxic but the itching was unbearable and I wanted immediate relief so badly.) Later on that day my clitoris began to burn but I thought it was from the vagisil. Fast-forward 2 days I looked at my vagina in a mirror and noticed there was a small scab on clitoris. Immediately thought I had herpes. I read your article on herpes and thought I needed to detox my body immediately I have been living unrighteous and it is time to live righteously! I forgave myself for abusing myself with alcohol and weed and unrighteous sex. I then forgave the person for giving me herpes. I'm grateful I had that encounter because it taught me to become center and grounded. I ordered the full body detox, which I am on currently and thought maybe I should do the anti viral kit & regimen afterwards. However I did not get tested for herpes and I may not even have it. I did not want to get tested because I did not want it on the books that I have herpes. I fully agree and over stand there are no incurable diseases. MY body is in a diseased state and blood is toxic. My question is should I get tested after the anti viral regimen kit if I have never been diagnosed with the disease. And I am also a college student with limited funds and not sure if I should invest in the kit because I do not have any money right now. I'M not having sex again until it is with a soul mate. I do want to take an HIV test to show my soul mate I do not have that disease. (in case he asks) I have never taken one of those before. Will it come back negative after the full body detox? I'm not sure what to do from here. Thank you for time. I truly appreciate your site. If I had not found your site I would not be a vegetarian to day and I would not know how to heal myself. I excited about my new path of living positively!

    A:

    I would suggest you read our article "Genital Herpes". Sound likes you learned a serious lesson. Now it's time to heal. I would recommend performing the Anti-Viral kit followed by the Full Body Detox and if you can only order one product, I'd say give the Anti-Viral a try. Please read our free health articles. they will further stimulate thinking.

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    Q: I read most of your articles. Love them. What you say is 100% correct. See for me. I believe that God has put me here for a reason. I have been blessed with the ability to for see things and when I think about something hard enough BAM!! I think of someone and they show up, so in regards to my current situation YES. I did have a hand in this. I keep thinking of not wanting to get HIV. Didn’t want to hear about or talk about it. Then two months before getting my initial test. It was on my mind. Then I got a physical and I was like no going to take this test but went ahead anyway and here we are. Do I believe in it? Not anymore. I now believe in blood toxicity. I am not freaking out about outbreaks because I don't have any. What I want is to know how to shape my mind. Do I need Chakra balance? What can I do to stop the thoughts? How do I reverse my mind to stop thinking on things. I try so hard to see happy things and feel happy thoughts. BTW in Jan I thought about a cold sore and it appeared.

    A:

    Thanks for explaining all that! I think the MENTAL SCIENCE MANUAL is right up your alley, Beloved. It'll be up next week. So glad you enjoy my articles, Beloved! You are a powerful person and you will be dangerous (in a good way) when you learn the power of your mind. Peace and Love!

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    Q: You are absolutely right. I just read this e-mail but went to the market earlier and really had to look at myself. I have more money on my feet than I wanted to spend on what I put into myself. I am happy that I made that distinction and choose organic. Money is no option when it comes to my health anymore. Thanks for keeping it real. That?s exactly what I need! Today is my first day and I am extremely excited about living a different life. Ok, I'm ready to cleanse...again. I've decided to focus on cultivating my feminine self so I've purchased your Female Cleanse as a start. I have one question though. I was wondering if adding 15 minute sunbathing to the cleanse would be helpful? The sun appears to be quite healing so I thought it may complement the cleanse. Also, would it be unwise to start the cleanse if one is on their cycle?

    A:

    Sunbathing won't hurt your cleanse. Not at all! And no, being on your menses also won't hurt or impair your cleanse.

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    Q: I want to order the Full Body Detox after I have the baby I have approx 3 weeks to go. My biggest reason for not getting the detox is because I do not want to see these worm come out of my body. People have said that they are still alive once they are out. I think I will go crazy and pass out if I see this. The thought makes me weak. Can you please give me some advice on what I should do so I want be horrified. I know I need to do this.

    A:

    It's all in your head. I think you are worrying too much. Do the kit and you'll be fine. Nothing to worry about. Damn near everybody in the U.S. needs to do a Parasite and Worm Kit.

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    Q: I completed FULL BODY DETOX and the ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN. I went to get a full STD test including HIV the 1st week in July. My results were normal, but I called the doctor back to make sure herpes was included in the tests she ran and her nurse said I will need to come back in for that additional test. Since I finished the FULL BODY DETOX and ANTI-VIRAL CLEANSE AND REGIMEN I still include fruits/veggies in my daily meals and I moderate other foods, but I totally cut out beef, Pork and I have some chicken, but primarily I will eat fish if I have the urge for meat. Now that I have to go back to get additional test for herpes I am nervous because I thought she covered all std tests the first time and I was happy that everything was normal like my pap smear, blood work, etc. I am really scared? If the results are not what I am looking for what do I need to do? Do I need to do the FULL BODY DETOX again? Or just order the anti-viral kit or just the anti-viral capsules? I am trying to stay positive but doctor visits are not my happiest moments!

    A:

    Being nervous is a sign of doubt and doubt is the subconscious will to fail. The best thing you could do is think positive and feel secure right now in the moment!

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    Q: My son is 5 years old. At first I thought he was just shy kid. I noticed is shyness is holding him back at school, including friends and family. He is withdrawing. I read about anxiety, it sounds 100% like him. He used to be so happy, now mood swings, and gets angry quick. What can I do to help him?

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    Give our Magical Alchemical Elixir a try for your son!

    Product Links:
    Magical Alchemical Elixir

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    Q: I am in need of cleansing my body and weight removal! (Removal and not loss because I don't want to find it again)! I need to remove about 80 pounds of unhealthy weight from my body and would like to do so in a natural way. I looked at both your Female Cleanse and the Full Body Cleanse, but don't know which is a better option for me to follow right now? I eat a lot of organic foods, I juice (some) but need to increase my water intake (A LOT). I don't drink much soda at all and when I do it is organic carbonated lemonade. I realize carbonated drinks are not good for us and limit how much I drink. My body lets me know when I have eaten something that is not good for me by causing my hands and feet to swell. To reduce this I drink water. I am allergic to wheat and try to stay away from it as much as possible. I have few ailments and have started working out again (cardio and weight training). I also looked at your weight loss products, but thought I should maybe detox first. What do you think? Any assistance you can offer on your products and which ones I should take is of great appreciation.

    A: The best thing for you is the Full Body Cleanse. The Full Body Cleanse will allow you to remove unwanted weight, while also optimizing your entier body so that you can maintain that weight and live a healthier lifestyle.

     

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    Q: I recently broke out really bad all over my body I thought it was an allergic reaction to a colon cleanser I took. I was told it was something called pityriasis. It's a virus, maybe caused my herpes 7 or something like that. I'd like to clean my blood can you suggest what I can take from your site besides detox?

    A:

    We suggest our Blood and Lymphatic formula and Anti-Viral formula, though the Full Body Cleanse is your best bet.

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    Q: Dear Sir, I was told that you were going to be sending me an email about my situation. I've wrote you a few times giving you bits and pieces of information it seems. I was asking one of your representatives about surgery and from the information I gave him he seems to think that I didn't give you all the information that I should have. Well about 13 years ago a lump formed in my breast after my 4th child was born. For years it's just been there. In 2005, after a mammogram they found calcifications in my breast. They did a biopsy and it came back fine. Six months later they decided that they wanted to remove the lump and when they did they found a small tumor. Since then I've taken herbs and God completely healed me. Well after another six months the lump came back but I didn't want any more surgery so I looked up poultice in my "Back to Eden" book and found a poultice that I used. I mixed flax seed meal, yellow corn meal, and funnelgreek tea together and left the poultice on my breast overnight for three nights. My breast began to get sensitive so I stopped using it. About a week later I noticed that the ducted around my nipple was indented, soon after that my nipple itself went inward, then after that I noticed what I thought was another lump in my breast but over a short period of time the lump extended from my armpit to my nipple. Now that whole area is hard and red. I got an ultrasound done and it revealed that I have swelling and cystic form in my breast. They want to do a biopsy but I am against it from what happened last time. Now I have pain in my arm also and at night I can barely sleep. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do except maybe go ahead and let me cut my breast. I have started your Detox program and I know it's working on my body but I don't want if it's doing anything for my swollen tissue inside my breast. I have lost my concentration because I'm constantly reminded about my breast because of the pain. I am a full time student but I'm thinking about dropping out of my classes until this issue is resolved because I can't focus on anything but the pain right now. I went a different doctor on 10/27/08 and they did a cvc (whatever that is) looking for an infection inside my body. The test came back normal, but my scheduled ultrasound is not for another week and I've told them that I'm in pain and need something done now. But they said that's the first available time.

    A:

    It appears the pain is just too unbearable for you and as such you may have to give in to the surgery in order to get immediate but short term relief. I had a friend who experienced what you experienced and the pain was so unbearable she couldn't sleep. I felt for her and I feel for you. I think you must do what is necessary for elimination or reduction of pain first and foremost. The FULL BODY DETOX (FBD) is helping your swollen tissues, but it seems you mind is so distracted that you are in doubt mode and doubt is the subconscious will to fail. If you know you can't do what you need to do (naturally) to deal with this situation, do what you must for present day relief. You have free will here, Beloved! Please use FEMALE BREAST OIL and Drink FEMALE HEALTH TEA during your FBD.

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    Q: Hello, I've been following the cleanse as it says in the book. My baby now refuses to drink from my breasts I’m so upset. He's been crying constantly for two days. I've been ill and vomiting constantly for the same amount of time. This is no coincidence. Today I've only drank water as the thought of anything else makes me feel ill. Every glass of water I've drank I've vomited. I feel so weak and sad The cleansing is just potent on your system. Take a day or two off and resume the cleanse again but only by taking 2-3 capsules at a time, not 5 at a time. Yes, others have experienced what you're experiencing. Follow the advice above and you'll be fine. What are you eating also? I would like to know. Thank you!

    A:

    Please look up VOMITTING in the "DETOX TROUBLESHOOTING"and read the article "HEALING CRISIS" in our articles section. Also, babies don't receive toxins from breast milk but they will receive the benefits and cleansing effects of the herbs as well.

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    Q: I was online searching for some natural treatments for hair growth in Black Men when I came across your article. I must say that I believe it was so on point that I decided not to look any further. I'm 44 years of age and started noticing my hair thinning when about 12 years ago. I was one of those that you wrote about in your article chasing a lifestyle that is no longer an interest to me. I did fall into some bad habits that were not good for my health off and on over the past 15 years or so more off than on. My body type I would describe as athletic. I'm tone, and strong when I exercise regularly. I'm about 150lbs @ 5'11". My diet is mostly vegetables but from time to time I feel I have to eat fish or chicken. Not necessarily prepared in the healthiest way I'm sure. I just got out of one of my "on" spells so to speak. Meaning the drinking of beer and cigarettes. I've been smoking and drinking beer now since September 2006 after not having done anything but live healthy for six years before that. As soon as my wife and I came back to the states and started working and runnign again these old destructive habits appeared again in my life. I only blame myself though. Right now my hair and skin suffer from the chemical poisoning from the habits that I just mentioned. I am prepared to take your advice about righteous living to heart and start fresh again. Is there a mild remedy that can work with me to stimulate the re-growth of my hair in the spots where it is balding in that classic balding pattern? I am generally very healthy when I doing right and even now rarely get sick. But my sickness manifest in stress and bad habits to num the pain of having to live this way when don't really want to. I quit the job that I've been working for the past 4 years for that reason and have been blessed to have some time not to grind everyday chasing after money. Now is a crucial time of healing for me, and I must take full advantage of the time. Moderation is in order for whatever you can suggest for me in the way of herbal remedies. I am sure that you can prescribe a simple overall regiment for my overall health based on what I have shared with you with an emphasis on the hair and skin. Again, thank you for writing the article. Call or write. The sooner the better.......Thank You!!

    A:

    I would say first detox with the FULL BODY DETOX and get your diet right CONSISTENTLY! Constantly clean your temple! This is key! Next, perform the TOTAL MALE CLEANSE. After this, do a daily regimen of HAIR SKIN NAILS FORMULA, ELECTRIC GREENS CELL FOOD, KHEMETIAN GOLD, and MSM SULFUR. Forgive yourself of past self-inflicted harm! Stop worrying about your hair loss. Start visualizing your hair growing back. If you can see it, you will achieve it! The mind is all and problems and remedies begin in the mind! BTW: we offer phone consultations if you're interested.

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    Q: Thought I would let you know about my experience with Dherbs FULL BODY DETOX system. I am a healthy 33 year old woman who 5'4" 170. I changed my diet back in March in an effort to lose weight and it has been working. I heard about your product on the Russ Parr Moring show and had visited your site contemplating ordering. I consulted with my mom who is HEAVY into herbs and alternative healing. She and I read your product ingredients together and she confirmed that the listed herbs are very good cleansing agents and should be safe. I ordered a few weeks ago to assist in my weight loss but actually started the detox on Monday Sept 1st. The first day went well and I saw results immediately. The second day produced results also but almost immediately after taking the 7pm pills I had a pressure that moved around in my head. I did not hurt but it was different from anything that I have ever felt. Then my face began to tighten up and twitch. These effects lasted for about 5 minutes. The next day, Sept 3rd, I did not use the pills and was fine. This morning Sept 4th I took the 7am pills within minutes I experienced the same symptoms. After consulting my doctor and my mother I decided to cease the system because it seemed that my nerves were being affected. What do you think caused it and how do I get my money back?

    A:

    I can't and won't spend a lot of time in this response because it's so common and too much information on it already exists on the site (i.e. Detox Trouble-Shooter, article "Healing Crisis" "Is This Normal?) 1. Please read the article "HEALING CRISIS". 2. Please read the article "IS THIS NORMAL?" 3. Please read "DETOX TROUBLESHOOTING" ("Twitching"). 4. Please read FAQ ("FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS PAGE") near bottom of the page (which explains that there are no refunds for healing crisis symptoms). Healing crisis is POSITIVE and is a sign much needed healing and cleansing is taking place. Clearly you have damaged nerves that really needed addressing and it's taking place but your fear predicated upon ignorance is stopping the process. You experience healing crisis and panic and want to stop the healing and desire a refund. We don't refund for misunderstandings, fear, social programming, etc. Healing crisis don't last forever! Many people experience healing crisis but still stick with the program. Read some of the testimonials on the site ("TESTIMONIAL PAGE").

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    Q: I've been plagued by uterine fibroids. I've had 6 surgeries and they keep coming back I tried your detox and female detox plan, eating healthy. I thought I was doing well but they've come back. I want to try to have another child with my husband of 15 years. My doctor wants to do IVF. He says it's our only hope. I'm 39 he says time is running out. I believe there is another way. My doctor is insisting I'm wasting time & money trying to use alternative & herbal remedies. He says if there was a magical herb there would be no plants or trees left. I am ready to accept whatever fate is bestowed upon me but don't want to become homeless in the process. Your honest and professionalism is greatly needed. Sincerely.

    A:

    The choice is your and yours alone to make! Naturally, to heal will take some time, just as much time as it took to develop the fibroids via what you ate, thought, did, etc. You have to stay committed to any natural protocol, Beloved! Naturally healing takes time!

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    Q: I have a sibling that is addicted to cocaine. I have thought about introducing the "ciga-quit" formula. I know that this is designed to help with addictions to tobacco. Can you tell me if this would beneficial to him for his current cocaine addiction as well? Please let me know what you think.

    A:

    I would recommend that he person performs the Full Body Detox. I would also recommend that the person take CARBON as well as CIGA-QUIT. Have the person bathe in hot water and about 6 boxes of sea salt per bath and this will help neutralize the cocaine in his/her body.

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    Q: Thank you for the cancer info...It is welcome and beyond informative, however, I take issue with your remark that "women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men." Part of me is not surprised--men make comments like this all the time. I chalk it up to ignorance, as men enjoy living their entire lives not having to endure periods, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and lord knows what else. So because a woman does not want to have children--at all, or at a particular time in her life--she wants to be a man?! That's an illogical conclusion you are making. So why are there pregnant women with cancer, some of which who have never taken BC pills? Are women entitled to making any sort of control over their reproductive health? What about women who are infertile, naturally? If they develop cancer, is it because they never gave birth to a child? Are you willing to support all of the children that will result from women not being on Birth Control, since many people cannot afford several children on their incomes? This line of reasoning makes some women think that men really need to get over themselves. I think you have been reading too much Freud. Some women, present company included, appreciate our femininity and everything that encompasses being a woman. At the same time, this is not the dark ages--and even then, women chose not to have children during different times in their lives. Surely you are aware that in non-Western countries women utilize natural herbs to control their reproduction or as abortifacients? I am not advocating abortion; my point is that if you are going to criticize women taking BC pills, you may as well extend this criticism to women naturally preventing pregnancy via alternative means.

    A:

    Birth control pills play a big role in female reproductive cancers. Women would be wise to just accept the fact that they are female by nature and God made them to have (deliver) babies and they should stop trying to compete with and be like men. In attempting to stop or prevent life (birth control), they are ending up losing their very own lives. And the birth control pills cause cancer in areas of the body that denote femininity (breasts, ovaries, fallopian tubes, cervix, uterus and vagina). This is a form of language here. You have disease and female organ(s) which basically means your disease is specifically related to an issue of femaleness or femininity, that's why the disease manifests in these "female" organs. In attempting to be like and compete with males, females compromise their feminine integrity and goddess nature which "eats them up" (anger, frustration, sadness, etc.) inside. When the cancer appears in any female organ, it serves as a sign or sensor that the problem lies on a deeper metaphysical level pertaining to emotions, thoughts and attitude."

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    Q: I am beginning a career as an artist but I am a single mother. I have worked in many corporate offices as a temp. I have attempted attending schools for things I thought would make me money. I really want to be a successful artist but I also have to take care of my son and work on art and work on my freelance contracts. I do not make the money I want or live where I want to live yet. I help my mother with her bills, I buy groceries and cook for everyone, I work at my uncles center for children and out of an art gallery at the homeless shelter as well as attend courses regarding the art business. I am doing it all without acquiring debt but I would like to know if it sounds like I am doing enough. I live a very lonely life, no real friends, no boyfriend. The only "kicks" I get are smoking a little weed and drinking a little wine here and there. I take my son to school and pick him up daily. I made sure I got him into one of the top schools in my city I also try to teach him and read to him as much as possible and keep him out of trouble. It gets hard. How do I stay motivated? I think the thing that bothers me most is uncertainty and the lack of money I have right now. How do I get to the next level financially without acquiring debt or having to fight traffic and deal with crazy attitudes every day?

    A:

    I apologize for the very delayed response, we have been experiencing technical difficulties.  I first would like to commend you on your ability to prioritize in such an effective manner.  Your life sounds like one lived in great service to  and love of others.  However, it is also VERY important that you receive energy from others so that you do not become too imbalanced.  Balance in life is crucial in all things (spiritual, physical, cognitive, relational etc).

    Your loneliness is your heart's/spirit's way of asking for relational balance.  It will continue asking louder and cause difficulties in other areas of your life/being until you create this balance.  Your substance use (and thank you for your honesty) only temporarily masks the loneliness, but drugs can only make it worse.  You see, drugs block us from becoming skilled at creating healthy relationships because they numbs us by turning down the volume on our brain's natural pleasure-centers.

    Additionally; keep in mind:  Your first fruits are always to be consumed by YOU!  You must always place yourself first, even before your son.  In example:  Airlines direct you that in the event of trouble you are to place your own oxygen mask on first.  You can be of no use to your son if you are unconscious due to lack of oxygen.  Similarly, if you give all of your fruits to others, you will have no "seed" or energy to produce more fruit.  

    You must give to you first!  Then you have the energy to give to others.  It teaches others how to give to you, how to love you, how to respect you and your needs while giving them the opportunity to reciprocate by giving to you.  This is how we balance giving.  Don't worry if it feels selfish at first, it definitely will seem that way, to you and possibly others.  Its just the change of tides making everyone feel a bit uncomfortable - but this will balance out in time as you become  more skilled at receiving and feel more worthy of others' care .

    I realize you have asked several other questions, however I have addressed the one I feel will help unblock your energy and allow you to see that the answers to the other questions have always been right before you.  We are born with everything we need to accomplish our goals, we only need to focus on the proper utilization of these gifts and resources.  If you couple this skill with fearlessness and belief in oneself, you will win.

    This communication does not constitute a client/coach relationship.  This is for information purposes only.

    Life is simply beautiful! 

    Enjoy your Self!