THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! Day 12

THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! Day 12

 

The Skin I Live In :
The Sh*t Burgers Will Make You Do!

What do you get when you cross a McDonald’s drive thru, a late night taco spot and a 24 hours Rally Burger?  Baaaaaaabi! Let me tell you! An episode of magnanimous proportion!  Oh! Tonight…was no F’ing joke.  Fits, fights and a whole damn break down.  Found myself in a corner parking lot having to pull it together!!!

Oh, I can laugh now, but at the time, I truly felt that life had something against me.  There I was, on the Battle Field as Ms. Sparks (Jordan) would say.   Warring with myself, fed up with shrubbery and nuts and berries- and ready to cut any brave food attendant who would suggest that I order a salad.  I mean it was an all out War!  I wish I were playing.  I do, truly.  But I’m so serious.   Here I am, Day 18 of my full-body cleanse; forward thinking, working-out and hell, even encouraging people.  Hhm, thought I had this thing down packed…lol.  That’s a lie! Or is it.

Wrote a song `bout it, like to hear it, here it go!

I pulled into the McDonald’s ready to order- I was gonna have a few chicken nuggets and fries… Oh yeah, I was serious.  This damn cleanse had been in line for too long as far as I was concerned.  Ordered, pulled up… getting ready to pay, thank God there were several cars in front of me… thought to myself, self, “this is to fattening and overpriced.  So I pulled out of the line and across the street into the taco spot I would frequent not so long ago.  Hell, even got greeted by Sam “where you been?  Looked at the menu…”you ready yet” Not yet I thought as I fawned over the luxurious and glistening taco platters and nachos etc…”you ready boss?  Looked over the menu some more and pulled out of yet another line… Heard Sam yell “thanks for nothing” as I (clearing my throat…) pulled into Rally’s instead.  I thought, well I know Rally’s will do the trick.  Took my time, licked my lips as the attendant whispered almost seductively to me (at least in my head that’s how it went) “ready to order yet?  “Yes! I’ll have the crispy fish sandwich and thee (yes…and thee…lol) Hell, you know Rally’s/Checker’s and their two for 3$.

Anyways, as I was saying…lol.

Yes, I’ll have the Crispy Fish sandwich” and then it hit me… as I looked at the calories for every item… I thought about how long I’d have to workout, ride a bike, hear Coach’s mouth…and Lord knows I’m not in the mood to hear my self say I quit… I finished my order and then, you guessed it; backed out of yet another line.  I pulled into the adjacent parking lot and sat there.  I thought about calling my life coach, my DHerbs specialist and even my God.  Ultimately I called-on myself, and the little bit of strength I had left in my body.  I sat there for about maybe 90 seconds; trying to find a reason other than I don’t want to quit (my weight-loss journey).  Tonight “I don’t want to quit” unfortunately was not enough, but I landed at something much bigger… crying out, literally Lord I don’t want to Die!  In literal tears I thought about how weak I looked…but God is so…Ahhhhh.  He’s so absolutely amazing.

It took tonight’s experience to show me just how Strong I Am.  Not weak at all, not whack or lazy, but full, rich and determined.  Tonight I proved to myself that I am the warrior He’s called me to be and also the decision I’ve made, I’m sticking with it!  Sometime we don’t even know we’re in the fight of our lives until our lives are on the line.  I quickly hauled my whole ass up out of there and damn near ran through the door to a piece of watermelon.

Look, I never thought I’d be telling anyone about my weird excursions, I almost chose not to write about this one.  But then I thought to myself- “who am I to not tell the truth about the process of making it to my goal?  People all and every day surround us with this picture perfect image of how “easy” it is to make things happen and that simply is Not the truth.  You want to get to your goals, what ever they are, well damn-it it’s gonna take work, and sweat and tears and pushing and falling and getting back up again.

I definitely don’t want you to be mislead, eating fresh and making better choices is a great thing and I’m happy I’ve made the decision.  I also however want you to know that I struggle just like you do.  Making drastic life changes and choices often suffers adverse reactions and can feel mountainous.  I like to share my little war anecdotes, 1, because they’re funny and 2, because they’re real.  Make no mistake- I’m happy with my choice to eat clean and feel that it’s the best thing for me. I’ve begun to see the changes in just a short while and I feel them too.  How else would I be able to run from rehearsals to stage, filming and teaching to boxing and workout sessions if I didn’t have a new-found energy.  The hard times come with it is all.  :)

I thank God for the “after midnight “ test I got… It shows and proves to me that anything and every curve ball thrown at ya boy is gonna get knocked out of the park, every time.

I’m a winner because I’ve chosen to Win!

Now! I’m off to bed before a burger comes flying through my damn window…. and I catch it.

Night y’all.

Tonight’s post is dedicated to a gladiator, a king, a warm spirit and amazing energy, Michael Clarke Duncan.  You will be sorely missed. 12/10/1957 – 09/03/2012

2012-09-13T10:28:00-07:00