THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! – Day 2

THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! – Day 2

 

I saw a movie with Antonio Banderas recently, the premise was, well, crazy as hell. But it did leave a lingering notion to ponder. If I could be anyone else, who would I be? If I could change any body parts, which would I choose? The more I thought about the “modern” world with all of its cutting and changing of sorts, bleeding to be someone you weren’t born to be… I decided! Yes, there are changes that need to be made, some shape shifting that needs to happen but more than any of those thoughts was the wondrous truth that I would Never want to be anyone more than I want to be me. So why not make me Better!

Though I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, live in any other persons skin, and I damn sure don’t want to change any body parts…is there a way to be a better, brighter, more in tune me without succumbing to the lazy idea of cutting it off, over lapping and layering it, pinching and pulling on it?

Yes! There is! Wake up Fat Fat! Day II

The Wake Up Call for me was stepping on an electronic scale that read “ERROR”. I mean, what the hell!!!? You mean to tell me they don’t even make home scales that could tally my weight? It was disheartening, embarrassing and I even felt a bit of humiliation to say the least. And the truth is, there was no one there pointing fingers at me, laughing or making me feel like I was less than human. No one physically pointing I mean.

In one fell swoop I felt everything I’d felt back in my 11th grade math class. I came in, I sat down and the floor picked me up! Lol. Now, the reality is, the chair was a misfit. But it was still terrible. The teacher laughed 1st and there went my confidence as the classroom went into an uproar. The scale represented for me years of feeling alone and unwanted, reasonably unattractive simply because I weighed more than others. An untruth.

I was so clouded by the weight I’d put on that I began to limit my idea of self and who I am called to be. Leaving the weight behind is easy, (kinda) ? but the memories and reasoning in why I chose to eat the things I did, well, that’s the part that has to be fixed. I say has as in the present, because I still struggle, I still revert back to some of those thoughts that make me feel like salvation is Not in the church but in Church’s Chicken. But NOW the difference is, I call Victory before the battle. I understand that how I think about myself determines how far I’ll go, how much I’ll win, what I will accomplish. The goal is set and the mark Will be met. But that takes arming yourself properly. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

My weapons of choice:

  • DHERBS Full Body Cleanse
  • A Gym Membership (Not a damn visitors pass) a pass can be revoked, membership is a decided action
  • A RAW Food diet (Laaaaaawd knows this one is a work in progress)
  • And Margo my fearless trainer (She’s last only because I have to be self motivated. Weight loss is a journey; no one is obligated to do this with you.)

Day 1 was hard, my mood was a flux, and I could all of a sudden smell every sweet and savory ingredient known to man and for some reason everybody seemed to be speaking to me extra loud and in code. Don’t know What that was all about. Lol.

I did manage to find some good raw food and I had two brilliant workouts. Yes ladies and gentlemen I said two, 2, dos, more than one. Believe it or not the workouts made me feel incredible. Look! The process is a process. Lets not weave false doctrine or smoke and lights…It’s going to take hard work to make the PV (Physical Vision) come to life. Lord knows I hope I’m as positive tomorrow as I sound today lol. Each day is different.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about me walking in the house to the smell of homemade hamburgers and then getting asked to make a store run for cupcakes, soda and cheetos. Lord knows, it took everything in me not to slap DEEE hell out of everyone in my path. Lol.

2012-08-24T10:06:31-07:00