THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! – Day 3

 

Becoming the Change YOU want to see.

One of the fastest things I’m learning as I take on the DHERBS Full Body Cleanse is well, hell; it really does cleanse you, mind, body and even connecting with your Master Love Source. Day three is feeling good, but like most working people, Wednesday is hump day and it was definitely that for me! I started the day a lil different today, as my spirit was low. I had to find that one thing that could ignite my daily staying power. Why was my spirit low you ask, cause today I wanted a damn sandwich! Lol.

In my 35 years of living and 20 years of weight challenge I have neva, eva dreamed about food. I mean dang y’all. I literally woke up reaching for a slice of pizza! That Did Not Exist! Needless to say I was a bit humored and also shocked. It’s funny when we begin to redevelop ourselves and recalibrate our thinking a number of psychological things begin to emerge.

One of my challenges has been uncovering my cowardice. Now, I’m not talking about fist fighting or running away from something I know I have to face. I’m talking about the things we never say or needed to say; afraid even that we’ll lose our grip on what we feel is our best reality.

I’m learning that weight gain when not medical is largely due to things, people, failures, hurts, misguided trust, anxiety and well a lack of confidence. Things like being picked last on the team at 7 years of age, if picked at all, or a secret crush that’s never realized because you’re looking at everything you’re not instead of recognizing you’re the perfect love creation from your Master Love Source.

Being a coward for me has seemingly been my way of escape. In my past I would run from the things that hurt me and accept the lies being forced into my mouth. A soda pop or honey bun could always make it better as a kid. I became much more decadent as I’ve aged; bring on the Bosa Nova 4 layer chocolate mouse cake. Ha! Yesssss. Oh I mean, no, no… Lol.

Before I learned that I could sing, I learned how to cook! A gift from my mother, definitely but the kitchen turned into a safe haven of sorts and I was definitely the KING! No one questioned me there and no one looked down on me.

As a matter of fact, one of my sisters and I would be sent into the kitchen to “figure it out” when food was low. We could figure a gourmet plan in minutes out of anything pretty much. Made me feel powerful, present and wanted. For me, the kitchen was the wrong place to affirm my existence and importance, plus I was still no G. Garvin, Emeril Lagasse or Paula Dean for that matter.

Don’t hear me wrong, food is Not a bad thing, and I am a fan of incredible culinary artistry, but you’ve heard it said, “too much of anything couldn’t be a good thing”.

Weight loss is not just a physical thing; it’s a mental clearing as well. You ever hear the saying “can’t see the forest for the trees? Well let me simplify… Your Belly Is In The Way! All of that junk inside is stuck forcing you to be stuck with it. Getting passed my cowardice is not about a fistfight it’s about a life fight a will to be the complete glory my Master Love Source has born me to become.

It’s a one step at a time process, melting away each layer you’ve added on to feel safe, worthy, strong and significant. You can’t accept the vision for your body or your life without accepting the path, the journey and all of its stunning hills of splendor and its low and dry valleys. There will be colorful, picturesque peeks, strong blistering winds, leveling life plateaus and gangly luscious trees for shade to rest as well. The point is…I’ve Put On My Boxing Gloves because I’m in the fight of my life!

As I’m tackling my personal demons and whooping their asses, I’m finding the new me, or should I say, I’m accepting the me that was always there…

Check me out at the boxing gym…I really thought I was doing something! When I almost passed out, I realiazed I actually was Doing Something… Becoming the Change I want to See!

2012-08-27T10:58:40-07:00