THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! – Day 5

 

Thank God for the inner voice that matters so much to personal strength. Today has been a test in and out. From sun up to sun down I have had every temptation presented my way. Like most people I’m accustomed to the foods and daily eating habits I learned as a child. As I’m unlearning those inset habits I’m seeking out new ones it’s clear that I can’t take something away without putting something new in.

I have to laugh at myself because I realize how “profound” I appear to be at this moment. But had you seen me at Trader Joes (market) earlier today you would have definitely told me to “get it together! Lol. There was nothing sweet nor profound about the inner thoughts I was having of strangling someone from hunger as the service worker attempted to lead me to what she thought was a good idea. An aisle, with oh say, 200 bags of nuts in different varieties; all roasted and salted and stripped of every bit of nutrience needed to consider it “live food. She smiled I snarled and managed to chisel out a bit of dry humor, I grabbed a bag from what they considered a variety of raw nuts (4) and some dried fruit and got the hell up out of there.

I was completely disgusted and discouraged! Hungry as hell and with an attitude building to be the size of Mount Rushmore. Terrible at its best! So, what did I learn today? That this here journey will not be easy but I completely believe and Know that I will do it. My new mission is not to find foods, treats and snacks that remind me of what I ate growing up, but instead find new ways to create a broader taste pallet. Nope, much like you I am nowhere near habituated to eating raw everything, but I do know there are some cool ideas to explore as I uncover the new me.

As I’m appreciating the “becoming me” I’m also delving into the rich flavors that I took for granted not only weeks ago. An avocado SAVED MY LIFE today! Lol. Avocado with a lil sea salt, pepper and cayenne was a saving grace as well as the homemade trail mix I was able to make thanks to Traders limited but available nuts and dried fruits. After that I had a mixed greens salad with a bit of fresh pressed extra virgin olive oil, lemon and vinegar…of course I mixed some fresh herbs into it and finally felt great.

Living good, right or healthy isn’t always easy, but it IS LIVING! In my moment of discouragement I realized that this is only on 1 person, but that’s because it’s for the most important person I know…Me. I took my temper tantrum like a man I forfeited my need to kick and scream, pulled out a Big Boy Pill and got my ass what I needed to stay the course.

Variety is the key to survival for me, well, variety, a good sense of humor and a personal desire that I didn’t even recognize I have.

It’s like my good friend Diane Warren wrote about for the Legendary Whitney Houston, “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength; once you find that mark, that private personal space of courage…Daily I might add…because it IS a daily walk… You’ll find yourself standing hill on top of HILL…Victorious!

2012-08-29T12:38:36-07:00