Today I stayed at home most of my day and cleaned up. I particularly feel the need for every thing to be clean around me. I woke up and hiked with Detox friends and we did a few exercises. Every one around me was really “positive” or so they seemed, which made me the bitchy one. I was cranky and disconnected at the beginning, I was thinking about breakfast. As I hiked and took in the earth, my attitude improved. I remembered hiking once and coming across a Coyote as a woman from Central America told me that Coyote meat was delicious. I realized that this is how gross our cow meat must sound to Indians and so on and so on. But I can’t help but become flustered yet again because we have created such a dependency on protein and what it is worth for muscle. As I get older I worry about my body and what is the right thing to do, I become overwhelmed. Every where you look food is being pushed in your face, so during the detox I feel most comfortable when I am away from it all.
I really wonder how I would survive in a situation such as The Haiti Earthquake that just happened and not eating would not be optional. It is time for me to get these shackles off and learn to deal with life without resorting to overeating.
The rest of the day I cleaned until it was time to hit the road for my show. I performed at a lounge that specializes in BBQ and I was pissed because the smell was making me sick. I have to admit that I took it to the stage. I had mixed feelings but when I looked at the food closely I was cool. I took my anger to the stage, had a great show and left. I didn’t want to be in there as I laughed thinking about how when I got home I had nothing to look forward to but putting that dirt in my water and drinking it.