A few days ago I took pictures in the mirror. “Selfies” or what not. It was interesting to me that my outer shell is beginning to change but what was I gonna do about the inside, a question I’m not certain we think about enough while pursing our “Adonis” moment in time.
I recounted experiences that shaped my opinion of what I look like the very make up of the walls of my flesh. I could feel the shame and disgust, the humiliation and the torment; words that woven together revealed a tapestry of hurt, dissatisfaction and unapologetic fear. I was afraid that if I turned down the “lamp light” I’d lose what bit of acceptance I’d lobbied for. A cycular undertaking that would exhaust me and shape the now opinion of my self. What was I gonna do about that. See, the Mask; the Mask allows for the most seamless of performances, able to put on a show of strength and certainty, dominance and assured confidence but none of it had been real. If I’m bold, the truth is the only time I’ve been buck ball honest with myself is before my Maker. Worship. Worship is the only time that I’ve felt fully accepted, understood, cared for and cultivated.
But now here we are, no longer behind the scars, the depth of the once ocean of discontent has dried up and I’m fully present to my gifts, talents and my Calling. You know, I remember the day I awakened from the slumber of nonexistence; God was kind enough to plan a disaster for me. I believe God relentlessly pursued what He believed was a willing heart and for this reason He had to break it. Not so that I’d fall but truly so that I could be replanted in soil that He’s been tilling for some time awaiting my arrival. God was consistent and with no puttering began to show me the panels that make up the tapestry of me, Now existence. God showed me that we are predestined and woven into the very making of the earth.
That His love for us runs so deep that just up until the very moment your conception has been ordained He’s had his angels working in the fields of glory on your behalf. I had to get to the point where I was sick and tired of being able to see what I was sick and tired of. What was revealed to me continues to shake my knees at the thought. To know that there are plans already rooted in the earth and being watered by a God who happily shares His “Platinum Experience” with us? He’s been eager to whisper in our ear. Yearning to breathe the very essence of the waters that flow from the thrown room on our very being.
Nothing you’ve experienced is a flaw however its what you make of those raw materials; the hurts, wrongs, non acceptance, bullied, spat on, called names, run hard, beaten low, verbally assaulted… It’s up to you to use the tools as assets. Count them all joy, you’ve seen the low now lets live in the high. They say that once you’ve had the chicken pocks its highly unlikely that you’ll ever see them again; I’d like to believe that those symptoms were there so that I’d be able to sniff out a tool. What was meant to tear me down has now built me up. You’ve got to be determined to see the other side of the mountain. Mentally if you don’t affix your mind on a goal while living this journey you will fail.
Again, If you Do Not Set Goals On This Particular Journey… You Will Fail. Yes, that’s right I said it! There’s no time for dwelling in the past, haven’t you looked in the mirror lately? You don’t even look the same so how can you afford to think the same. You’ve been awarded a pass that states that you’ve already won. Pick up your feet, put on some fly gear and get your camera Ready, its time to take your Snap Shot!
Look, I tell folks all the time, “You’d better know who you are, less they’ll tell you… and 9 times out of 10 … they’ll Get It Wrong ` AB McDonald
Even the energy you have now is a gift from God. Don’t get it twisted. We have amazing tools in Dherbs, Eating Well, and Exercising for Life. But none of that is possible without that 1st Breath in the morning. We give thanks and continue forward knowing that the goals we set are markers in time to help us know to share our better selves, lifting other people.