{"id":44802,"date":"2012-08-24T10:06:31","date_gmt":"2012-08-24T10:06:31","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dherbs.com\/uncategorized\/the-skin-i-live-in-100-pounds-down-day-2\/"},"modified":"2021-07-06T03:47:59","modified_gmt":"2021-07-06T10:47:59","slug":"the-skin-i-live-in-100-pounds-down-day-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dherbs.com\/journal\/abraham-mcdonald-the-skin-i-live-in-100-pounds-and-down\/the-skin-i-live-in-100-pounds-down-day-2\/","title":{"rendered":"THE SKIN I LIVE IN; 100 POUNDS & DOWN! – Day 2"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I saw a movie with Antonio Banderas recently, the premise was, well, crazy as hell. But it did leave a lingering notion to ponder. If I could be anyone else, who would I be? If I could change any body parts, which would I choose? The more I thought about the \u201cmodern\u201d world with all of its cutting and changing of sorts, bleeding to be someone you weren\u2019t born to be\u2026 I decided! Yes, there are changes that need to be made, some shape shifting that needs to happen but more than any of those thoughts was the wondrous truth that I would Never want to be anyone more than I want to be me. So why not make me Better!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Though I wouldn\u2019t want to be anyone else, live in any other persons skin, and I damn sure don\u2019t want to change any body parts\u2026is there a way to be a better, brighter, more in tune me without succumbing to the lazy idea of cutting it off, over lapping and layering it, pinching and pulling on it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Yes! There is! Wake up Fat Fat! Day II<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Wake Up Call for me was stepping on an electronic scale that read \u201cERROR\u201d. I mean, what the hell!!!? You mean to tell me they don\u2019t even make home scales that could tally my weight? It was disheartening, embarrassing and I even felt a bit of humiliation to say the least. And the truth is, there was no one there pointing fingers at me, laughing or making me feel like I was less than human. No one physically pointing I mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In one fell swoop I felt everything I\u2019d felt back in my 11th grade math class. I came in, I sat down and the floor picked me up! Lol. Now, the reality is, the chair was a misfit. But it was still terrible. The teacher laughed 1st and there went my confidence as the classroom went into an uproar. The scale represented for me years of feeling alone and unwanted, reasonably unattractive simply because I weighed more than others. An untruth.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was so clouded by the weight I\u2019d put on that I began to limit my idea of self and who I am called to be. Leaving the weight behind is easy, (kinda) ? but the memories and reasoning in why I chose to eat the things I did, well, that\u2019s the part that has to be fixed. I say has as in the present, because I still struggle, I still revert back to some of those thoughts that make me feel like salvation is Not in the church but in Church\u2019s Chicken. But NOW the difference is, I call Victory before the battle. I understand that how I think about myself determines how far I\u2019ll go, how much I\u2019ll win, what I will accomplish. The goal is set and the mark Will be met. But that takes arming yourself properly. And that\u2019s exactly what I\u2019m doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My weapons of choice:<\/p>\n\n\n\n