The Sh*t Burgers Will Make You Do!

What do you get when you cross a McDonald’s drive thru, a late night taco spot and a 24 hours Rally Burger?  Baaaaaaabi! Let me tell you! An episode of magnanimous proportion!  Oh! Tonight…was no F’ing joke.  Fits, fights and a whole damn break down.  Found myself in a corner parking lot having to pull it together!!!

Oh, I can laugh now, but at the time, I truly felt that life had something against me.  There I was, on the Battle Field as Ms. Sparks (Jordan) would say.   Warring with myself, fed up with shrubbery and nuts and berries- and ready to cut any brave food attendant who would suggest that I order a salad.  I mean it was an all out War!  I wish I were playing.  I do, truly.  But I’m so serious.   Here I am, Day 18 of my full-body cleanse; forward thinking, working-out and hell, even encouraging people.  Hhm, thought I had this thing down packed…lol.  That’s a lie! Or is it.

Wrote a song `bout it, like to hear it, here it go!

I pulled into the McDonald’s ready to order- I was gonna have a few chicken nuggets and fries… Oh yeah, I was serious.  This damn cleanse had been in line for too long as far as I was concerned.  Ordered, pulled up… getting ready to pay, thank God there were several cars in front of me… thought to myself, self, “this is to fattening and overpriced.  So I pulled out of the line and across the street into the taco spot I would frequent not so long ago.  Hell, even got greeted by Sam “where you been?  Looked at the menu…”you ready yet” Not yet I thought as I fawned over the luxurious and glistening taco platters and nachos etc…”you ready boss?  Looked over the menu some more and pulled out of yet another line… Heard Sam yell “thanks for nothing” as I (clearing my throat…) pulled into Rally’s instead.  I thought, well I know Rally’s will do the trick.  Took my time, licked my lips as the attendant whispered almost seductively to me (at least in my head that’s how it went) “ready to order yet?  “Yes! I’ll have the crispy fish sandwich and thee (yes…and thee…lol) Hell, you know Rally’s/Checker’s and their two for 3$.

Anyways, as I was saying…lol.

Yes, I’ll have the Crispy Fish sandwich” and then it hit me… as I looked at the calories for every item… I thought about how long I’d have to workout, ride a bike, hear Coach’s mouth…and Lord knows I’m not in the mood to hear my self say I quit… I finished my order and then, you guessed it; backed out of yet another line.  I pulled into the adjacent parking lot and sat there.  I thought about calling my life coach, my DHerbs specialist and even my God.  Ultimately I called-on myself, and the little bit of strength I had left in my body.  I sat there for about maybe 90 seconds; trying to find a reason other than I don’t want to quit (my weight-loss journey).  Tonight “I don’t want to quit” unfortunately was not enough, but I landed at something much bigger… crying out, literally Lord I don’t want to Die!  In literal tears I thought about how weak I looked…but God is so…Ahhhhh.  He’s so absolutely amazing.

It took tonight’s experience to show me just how Strong I Am.  Not weak at all, not whack or lazy, but full, rich and determined.  Tonight I proved to myself that I am the warrior He’s called me to be and also the decision I’ve made, I’m sticking with it!  Sometime we don’t even know we’re in the fight of our lives until our lives are on the line.  I quickly hauled my whole ass up out of there and damn near ran through the door to a piece of watermelon.

Look, I never thought I’d be telling anyone about my weird excursions, I almost chose not to write about this one.  But then I thought to myself- “who am I to not tell the truth about the process of making it to my goal?  People all and every day surround us with this picture perfect image of how “easy” it is to make things happen and that simply is Not the truth.  You want to get to your goals, what ever they are, well damn-it it’s gonna take work, and sweat and tears and pushing and falling and getting back up again.

I definitely don’t want you to be mislead, eating fresh and making better choices is a great thing and I’m happy I’ve made the decision.  I also however want you to know that I struggle just like you do.  Making drastic life changes and choices often suffers adverse reactions and can feel mountainous.  I like to share my little war anecdotes, 1, because they’re funny and 2, because they’re real.  Make no mistake- I’m happy with my choice to eat clean and feel that it’s the best thing for me. I’ve begun to see the changes in just a short while and I feel them too.  How else would I be able to run from rehearsals to stage, filming and teaching to boxing and workout sessions if I didn’t have a new-found energy.  The hard times come with it is all.  :)

I thank God for the “after midnight “ test I got… It shows and proves to me that anything and every curve ball thrown at ya boy is gonna get knocked out of the park, every time.

I’m a winner because I’ve chosen to Win!

Now! I’m off to bed before a burger comes flying through my damn window…. and I catch it.

Night y’all.

Tonight’s post is dedicated to a gladiator, a king, a warm spirit and amazing energy, Michael Clarke Duncan.  You will be sorely missed. 12/10/1957 – 09/03/2012

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Emotional Eating

Empty, Worthless, Tired, and Weak; unfortunately this is how I’m feeling tonight. I’m lonely and uncovered and seeking something bigger, greater and fuller than my understanding. I wish I could say that the feeling is about a plate or some rich food I wish I could eat, but it’s not. I’m feeling this way, I believe because I’m transitioning into a space that I’ve never been in before, something I’ve never seen. But isn’t this space the place of new-birth? A place of surrender, no strength, no masks, desperate for the fullness of a new life in the exact space that was designed specifically for Me.

I’m hungry to feast on the vision poured into me while I sleep. I‘ve heard it said that God is never far away and is always waiting on you, but in which direction are you tonight God? I decided to write not because of my blog schedule, but because I’m fed up with finding myself emotionally eating when I feel this hole of a space. I’m angry with the thoughts of being content with whatever disastrous, destroying thoughts that I’ve had in the last 20 minutes. I’m angry because there is something that is bigger than me that wants me to lean to something temporary rather than fixing my strength to win past the passing hunger pains of feeling empty and away from living my true life.

Like you I try daily, I reach daily, I urge myself from the secret place within to surrender to my calling and to be the example of all that is rich with love and passion for Being, living and loving; but tonight I just want to be held, I want to be satisfied with what God has already provided, done, given, but I’m not there, or haven’t been there today I should say. I know I’m an encourager, a pillar and a giver, but who will give to me, restore me, encourage me? Me in Him and Him in Me!

So tonight, instead of surrendering to that voice in my head that wants me to give up, I’ll reach for the strength that only comes when my strength is gone. Tonight I surrender my heart, my mind, my flesh and all of my hearts desire in exchange for the arms of the God I serve. We get weak, we get tired, we get lonely, and we suffer, that’s just how we’re made…but whom He is trumps all of those physical ailments and torments and imperfections. There will be nights and days when you don’t want anyone to say to you “you can do it”. “Keep pushing”, don’t give up here, now” those statements will have no effect on you, hell, they may even piss you off to hear…but that’s when you push, that’s when you pull, that’s when you STAND.

I’ve told you before, I have no secrets; I have no plan in my back pocket to pull out in these moments of disgust. I continue to say you have to have a base, a place bigger than you your Master Love Source. I’m a guy who believes fully

Ephesians 3:19-23
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us,

I promise you as surely as my name is Abraham McDonald I would not have been able to push through tonight without this scripture and Hillsong’s “I Surrender” playing in the background while I wrestled with myself. And no, not having food did not put me in a state is depression, no indeed; food tried to become the solution and entrapment to my dealing with the days hardships. I’m still learning balance and when I have to break a rule or two to keep myself on track, but today was filled with bumps and bruises, unexpected twists and a bit of loneliness.

Choosing to surrender to the path you’re traveling just isn’t easy…and hell, the truth is you don’t want it to be…How else do we learn to fight and win? There has to be pressure to birth vision.

SO here I am Now, standing and feeling 100% better, I beat the beast tonight and can head to the gym in peace. It’s like I’ve said before, you will become angry, sad, lonely and tired, but don’t become a quitter. Never that!

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The Way You Look Tonight

Back in 2008 before I started my weight loss journey

I’m sitting here on the side of my bed with a full heart. I guess when I started this weight loss journey I hadn’t considered how many people may be feeling just like me, or how I felt before I started. Look, I have no secret weapons; I have no tricks or lies to give you. I’m a 35-year-old man who just wants to see life longer. I read a couple comments posted to my blog and I began to weep, not because their stories are sad, but because I’m in awe of how God can and will use you once you let down your own guard.

I wasn’t raised in a church, I don’t have a deacon or entitlement Jesus-Pin attached to the hem of any of my garments. I’m just a guy that He’s shown favor and love to time and time again, loving me in to a place of trusting Him. I get it, you know God and His power and all that He’s done, but for some, they’ll only know Him because of you and how you move around. I wish I could say I’ve made no mistakes, but I can’t. I’ve hurt people, lied, stolen, cheated, and been out right wrong in my past, but in it all, the one thing that remains true is that I’ve never avoided the responsibility of accepting my part. Something I believe God can and will honor.

The things I’m seeing as I journey this road to healing my body are astounding, beyond anything I could have fathomed. My strength and determination come not from some quote I saw on a damn Facebook wall, but solely from the SOURCE of my creation. I am His and being His means I have a right to live. Live healthy, strong, spiritually sound (without your opinion of right or wrong).

These past two weeks have presented many hills and valleys, I’ve dreamed dreams I never thought I would and I’ve seen clearly each step I’ve taken to land me at this place of reconciliation. I’m no pastor or evangelist; I’m simply a man who recognizes that in order to grow forward we have to rid ourselves of the sicknesses we like to hold on to as excuses to Not become great.

Now check this out; there are people who are happy looking just how they look and feeling just how they feel, I’m just not one of them. Anymore! Though I’m rich with joy and family, I have hope and strength, I’m a good guy and I know it… the changes I’m making on the outside are only possible because of the home I’ve built on the inside. I aim daily to live in a good space and place with me.

The Way You Look Tonight

I remember a recording studio I went to years ago, I couldn’t find it for a good thirty minutes because it was disguised as an abandoned building. Once I did locate it and walked behind to find the entrance, I opened doors to one of the most elaborate and well-equipped studios I have ever worked in. I mean it was lavish, all the bells and whistles, laid with lounges, writing nooks, three kitchens and even two lofts for staying the night. This studio was it man, I tell you! Unfortunately we aren’t made the same way. Sometimes people will miss the best part of you, the inside, the heart you have only because you don’t look like the package they were looking for and that sucks.

However, I would be remised if I tried to pretend that there is no part of me that considers vanity a partial reason in my desire to lose weight. The good part is that I’ve always felt I was a good-looking guy with a lot to offer as a person. I’m a catch! I’m the sexiest 6’8 chocolate thang you done eva seen! But that doesn’t mean that I haven’t fought the ugly stereotypes and afflictions that come just because I’m a bigger guy. Hey, I want the second glance and long stares too! And not just because I sing well, know Oprah and dress well, hey that’s a part of it, but lets be honest, there’s nothing like a bit of good old sexual desire to make you feel alive, present and confident.

For those of us who have been stuck rebuilding the outside without considering the inner changes that have to happen in order to sustain the shell; be foretold with a full heart, baby, it starts on the inside. That studio would have been worthless had the inside been the same as the shell on the outside. All that I think of me started with believing I Am Worth It and that was no easy road either! I found worth without the fancy car, the perfect 10 on my arm, or the six-digit job. All of those things are garments of confidence and not the skin you’re in. There is nothing worse than a miserable rich person, and to be honest, nothing funnier either.

I implore you to recognize the gift there is in you just being you. You’re right, that person who can’t see past your weight does suck, stink, is whack and not so hot them damn selves etc… I agree with you, but don’t allow their feeble sense of identity to keep you from affecting the world with change as you become the face of change. Go get em!!

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I’d Rather Have A Mood Swing Than Swing On You

Just another day in LA; Gym, rehearsal, studio and filming… sounds like fun, I know; but having a to do all of that and balance your blood sugar can be a task. Preparation is my new thing. I’m not so disciplined, and if I’m honest…I’m not disciplined at All, lol. I’m getting the hang of it though. Nightly I set up my supplement pocket case, I prepare my breakfast smoothie and try to plan out what I’ll eat for lunch and dinner the next day. Sounds like a lot but not really when you know that your blood sugar levels affect your mood and energy. I just like to have it set up so I don’t go off.

I know I talk about attitude and mood a lot, but it seems that those are two factors that often send people off track, ultimately making them quit on themselves. Nope, I haven’t had one thought of quitting though I have had a moment or two of “bleep this bleep! Lol. Not the same as quitting for me. Getting a lil huff actually steams me into a place of submission. I’m a firm believer that I can adjust my power by being OK with being human. This means that if I have to have my fit I do; I’d much rather have the fit and keep going rather than going away from my goal quietly in the night. I will not allow diabetes to beat me in any sense of the word.

Over the past few days I’ve been a working idiot! Teaching vocal lessons, writing songs, brainstorming for TV pitch meetings, rehearsing and then being present for my friends and family. Again, doesn’t sound like much, but it’s much harder to be present when you feel like you’re gonna pass out from hunger.

I’m a big dude, I’ll never be small, so I have to make sure I get enough calories in this sexy chocolate body to keep it all going while dropping the pounds and cleansing my system. Starving yourself will never help you lose weight, your body will selfishly hold on to everything, inch, pant size it has to keep it from dying; so I’m now putting more in (edibles) so I can work more off. I admit I had it backwards at first. I just didn’t want to feel full, stuffed, like I’ve eaten too much. Well, with me keeping on the go, I need more to burn more energy. And with nuts, dried fruit and a carry bag of celery, carrots, olives, hummus, flax seed chips and peanut butter, I’m doing just that! Keeping that energy going.

Look! No one can do a better job at being you, but you have to be around for that to happen. Raising kids, working a job, balancing activities can all be a lot to handle, I just want folks to know that it’s better to prepare your day the night before as best as you can, that way, when life throws those curve balls, you can grab a hand full of nuts while you’re grabbing life by the balls and make it happen.

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Monday morning, up and at uhm! It’s a beautiful Cali day, feeling good in my hood. It’s funny the things you learn about yourself when your daily rituals change. And I mean you learn fast too! I’m not so nice when I’m really hungry. Lol.

For years I’ve been able to work the entire day without any grumbles or hunger pains, no fussing or fighting; but now when I’m hungry the boxing gloves come out. At first I thought I was imagining things; “I couldn’t be This upset over who moved the spoon” kind of thing, but as it turns out, as a T2D (Type II Diabetic) one of the most frequented emotional tangents is anger when hungry or blood sugar is low.

Who would have thought that not having some applesauce could make a person go Postal? Well, like I’ve been saying, it’s an everyday learning experience. When I got rid of the dairy and meet, poultry etc and foods cooked at high temperatures I hadn’t realized how my mood would be connected to my eating habits and food choices. Nevertheless, I’m getting a grip. Really! I’m adding more foods that would not otherwise make the weekly grocery list, snow peas and hicama, hummus and Greek olives, hell kale for that matter. Every day I try something new at home or in a restaurant. The point is my dedication is leading me in a new food direction.

Check this out, a breakfast or lunch smoothie recipe I came up with myself! And guess what folks; it is delicious!

The “Thank God its Monday” Smoothie.

Makes three servings.

1 banana broken up
1 cup of fresh cantaloupe
1 cup of fresh spinach
The juice from 1 whole orange
The juice from ½ a lemon
2 full celery sticks, (tops are optional)
2 cups of ice
1 teaspoon of Agave nectar

In a blender add half of you ice and ½ of the OJ, pulse until mixed, add your bananas, cantaloupe and keep the blender going until smooth, add your spinach, blend on high, add the other half of your OJ and the lemon juice continue blending, add celery the other half of your ice and a bit of agave to taste. Pour in a glass and enjoy a bit of heaven.

Part of eating better for me is eating Fun, cooking, preparing and trying new things is what keeps me alive and well in this process. Figure out your flow so you can Go Get It!

In the last 24 hours I’ve had Cheesy Kelp Noodles (all raw) Sushi with no fish or rice, just veggies, mmm good and even…check this out… Raw Nachos, the best!

See you in a bit.

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ABRAHAM MCDONALD Weekend Warrior

S a t u r d a y

Travel Bag:

Oranges ?
Plum ?
Nuts ?
Dried fruit ?
Distilled Water ?
Good attitude ?

Schedule:
Merge Summit 2012 with Niecy Nash and the cast of TV Lands The Soul Man,
Guest performer for the 2012 She Cares Foundation Celebrity Basketball Game
Song Writing Session with Wendy Parr
Jam Session with John Morayniss

A good attitude and keeping busy is unquestionably what kept me afloat this weekend as I balanced my new diet plan. Having a support system, whether its one or two people is going to be a saving grace for you also…trust me, it has definitely been that for me.

I woke up Saturday morning excited because I’d made it to Saturday without compromising my decision to change. I thought to myself this Type II Diabetes is gonna get its tail whooped one way or another! I’m armed with my DHERBS cleanse, exercise and a support team around me. Winning isn’t easy and it sure as hell feels like something in the process, ya know? I had put things in order and felt victorious, hopeful that I could do this, that I can win therefore making the difference in my life and adding years to it. Again, there I go sounding all profound, right?

Well, It was some weekend and it did have its ups and downs.

Wrote a song `bout it, like ta hear it, here it go! What the “bleep” was I thinking, going cold turkey with no damn turkey? Where were the angels of all that is rich and fattening, tasty and fried when I made this decision to uhm, “better my life”. I mean, who in the hell left the gate open so they could escape?

Saturday held a lot of inspiring moments and anecdotes from some of my favorite friends and people; however none of those things, stories, people or pushes satisfied the hunger pain I was having. When it was said, “man shall not live by bread alone” I most definitely thought he was saying that I should partake in all things ham, fried and creamy! And now I have to go through an entire LA day with a bag of nuts and packed fruit to survive? I mean really!?

And really, that’s what I did. This figuring it out as you go plan is something of a headache. I’ve never cooked raw food, damn-it, raw food has never been cooked! Lol. But, the mere thought of caving now is more than disheartening. It’s Not An Option. You see? I’m a firm believer that it took a lot to get it on, so it’s going to take something New in me to get it off and defeat this disease that takes so many lives unexpectedly.

I guess when you hear the term “raw food” there’s an automatic dislike emblem that stamps itself across your forehead. Lol. I’m still battling with my “old” taste buds and I’ve found out the hard way, their ass aren’t going anywhere without a fight!

Something inside of me all weekend has nudged… “if you don’t get me a piece of chicken there may be some kind of spontaneous combustion that will eventually take course inside of me”. Well, needless to say, that didn’t happen. But I do want to talk about the discomforts that come as you’re transitioning into a new space and way of living.

Being uncomfortable will become the least of your worries. The discomfort is your body naturally acting out just as a child would. It wants what it wants and that’s just it. But you, me, we have to be the masters of what thinking we ascribe to. I will not get chin checked by my belly or my taste buds! I recall a friend saying to me, “we need to eat for energy, not taste”, of course I thought, “Shut D hell up!” But how many times have you eaten something and instead of wanting to get a move on it; you decide to sit down on it instead.

I had my “eureka or ah ha” moment as Oprah would say on Sunday while dining with friends. I was sitting at the table whilst people piled gobs of ranch dressing on their salads, eating bread and filling themselves with iced tea, lobster, steak and chicken. Granted, I thought, ”I could have just one piece of bread, right? No sooner the thought came the evidence that I had the wrong idea. It wasn’t about what I could eat because truly I can eat what I want, it became about what I should eat. Not much of an epiphany, but it did give me the strength to do none of what I’d originally wanted.

If I have to pack a bag, I’d rather that than wrap up and amputated leg. It boils down to making the decision.

This weekend was a rough one but a victorious one. It was me finally becoming ok with what I’ve decided to do…again. I say again because there are constant reminders all around the city that say stop and taste this. Today, I’ll just have another taste…of life.

See y’all Monday. God only knows what obstacles will be there waiting for me.

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Thank God for the inner voice that matters so much to personal strength. Today has been a test in and out. From sun up to sun down I have had every temptation presented my way. Like most people I’m accustomed to the foods and daily eating habits I learned as a child. As I’m unlearning those inset habits I’m seeking out new ones it’s clear that I can’t take something away without putting something new in.

I have to laugh at myself because I realize how “profound” I appear to be at this moment. But had you seen me at Trader Joe’s (market) earlier today you would have definitely told me to “get it together”! Lol. There was nothing sweet nor profound about the inner thoughts I was having of strangling someone from hunger as the service worker attempted to lead me to what she thought was a good idea. An aisle, with oh say, 200 bags of nuts in different varieties; all roasted and salted and stripped of every bit of nutrience needed to consider it “live food”. She smiled I snarled and managed to chisel out a bit of dry humor, I grabbed a bag from what they considered a variety of raw nuts (4) and some dried fruit and got the hell up out of there.

I was completely disgusted and discouraged! Hungry as hell and with an attitude building to be the size of Mount Rushmore. Terrible at its best! So, what did I learn today? That this here journey will not be easy but I completely believe and Know that I will do it. My new mission is not to find foods, treats and snacks that remind me of what I ate growing up, but instead find new ways to create a broader taste pallet. Nope, much like you I am nowhere near habituated to eating raw everything, but I do know there are some cool ideas to explore as I uncover the new me.

As I’m appreciating the “becoming me” I’m also delving into the rich flavors that I took for granted not only weeks ago. An avocado SAVED MY LIFE today! Lol. Avocado with a lil sea salt, pepper and cayenne was a saving grace as well as the homemade trail mix I was able to make thanks to Traders limited but available nuts and dried fruits. After that I had a mixed greens salad with a bit of fresh pressed extra virgin olive oil, lemon and vinegar…of course I mixed some fresh herbs into it and finally felt great.

Living good, right or healthy isn’t always easy, but it IS LIVING! In my moment of discouragement I realized that this is only on 1 person, but that’s because it’s for the most important person I know…Me. I took my temper tantrum like a man I forfeited my need to kick and scream, pulled out a Big Boy Pill and got my ass what I needed to stay the course.

Variety is the key to survival for me, well, variety, a good sense of humor and a personal desire that I didn’t even recognize I have.

It’s like my good friend Diane Warren wrote about for the Legendary Whitney Houston, “I Didn’t Know My Own Strength; once you find that mark, that private personal space of courage…Daily I might add…because it IS a daily walk… You’ll find yourself standing hill on top of HILL…Victorious!

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Setting the tone for weight loss success has a lot to do with personal attitude. I’ve been readjusting my attitude a lot lately. I’ve had the opportunity to do a lot of cool things, meet a lot of cool people and see a bunch of cool places. But in all of that, the hustle, the pressure of living I’m seeing now that I have not always had my ears, eyes or heart open for that matter, I have not always been “Present” as my sis Niecy Nash would say…” baby, Stay Present!

Being that I’m on the tightrope of accountability and transparency now, I’m looking and noticing that I very well might have been so consumed with what I wasn’t, what I didn’t have or who I didn’t know that I became a mystery to myself.

I like to say that I’m an extroverted introvert. I know how to be “on” but that does not make me “present”. I know you know what I’m talking about; a room full of people but still alone, it’s your birthday but everyone else is celebrating it better than you. I’ve even been the person who is SO happy and content that that was a lie too. Just another face I put on, a way to disregard or elude my true feelings. My true self.

Uncovering, shedding the layers fighting for new air in a suffocating world has made me take shorter breaths yes, but it’s also made me think about the spaces and places I want to breathe in. Do I even want the “dream” I’ve reached for? What if the best place, resource for air is right here in the now and the clearing of so much personal junk. I believe that there is a time for everything under the sun… Maybe the time I’ve so dreamed about is contingent upon my renewing my mind and rebuilding my spiritual walls.

Needless to say, I’m “THERE”, “Here”, and “Present” I’m in a space and time of success that is completely dependent upon my being Honest with me. I’m becoming ok with today being a less than perfect day, or the fact that changing my diet will at times mess with my energy and attitude. I’m not saying that I can just go off on others because of what I’m choosing to live now, but I am definitely ok with not putting on a face so You can feel better about My mood or attitude.

The truth of the matter is that I’m human, and though that does not grant me a pass to The Thom Foolery Show, It does mean I have a right to every emotion and feeling God blessed me with. I’ll cuss and scream; I’ll cry and moan, I’ll push and fight with everything in me. Hell! I may even throw things. Lol. I’m detoxing every part of me, and well hell, it doesn’t feel so good.

With that, I’m off to eat this damn grapefruit that I’m swearing will taste like a Mandarin Chinese Chicken Salad lol.

Wanted to let you know what this DHERBS Full Body Cleanse consists of. Remember, the cleanse is dope by itself but you won’t get the weight loss results you desire without changing your diet and adding movement to your daily regimen.

I take 30 herbal supplements a day in capsule form and a ½ teaspoon of charcoal before bed… Yes, I said charcoal. You can visit their site for full details on each supplement.

(1) Blood and Lymphatic
(2) Cardiovascular
(3) Liver and Gallbladder
(4) Lungs and Respiratory
(5) Kidneys, Bladder and Adrenals
(6) Colon and Digestive Tract
(7) Carbon

Look I make no false promises, no false hope only the real deal, this is what I’m doing to change my life. I love singing and performing, I love speaking and teaching and I want to be able to do these things for the rest of my life should the good Lord allow me to. I just know that it’s gonna burn is all, lol. I ain’t no punk though. I know it can and WILL happen with me applying what I’m learning and believing that I can do it.

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Becoming the Change YOU want to see.

One of the fastest things I’m learning as I take on the DHERBS Full Body Cleanse is well, hell; it really does cleanse you, mind, body and even connecting with your Master Love Source. Day three is feeling good, but like most working people, Wednesday is hump day and it was definitely that for me! I started the day a lil different today, as my spirit was low. I had to find that one thing that could ignite my daily staying power. Why was my spirit low you ask, cause today I wanted a damn sandwich! Lol.

In my 35 years of living and 20 years of weight challenge I have neva, eva dreamed about food. I mean dang y’all. I literally woke up reaching for a slice of pizza! That Did Not Exist! Needless to say I was a bit humored and also shocked. It’s funny when we begin to redevelop ourselves and re-calibrate our thinking a number of psychological things begin to emerge.

One of my challenges has been uncovering my cowardice. Now, I’m not talking about fist fighting or running away from something I know I have to face. I’m talking about the things we never say or needed to say; afraid even that we’ll lose our grip on what we feel is our best reality.

I’m learning that weight gain when not medical is largely due to things, people, failures, hurts, misguided trust, anxiety and well a lack of confidence. Things like being picked last on the team at 7 years of age, if picked at all, or a secret crush that’s never realized because you’re looking at everything you’re not instead of recognizing you’re the perfect love creation from your Master Love Source.

Being a coward for me has seemingly been my way of escape. In my past I would run from the things that hurt me and accept the lies being forced into my mouth. A soda pop or honey bun could always make it better as a kid. I became much more decadent as I’ve aged; bring on the Bosa Nova 4 layer chocolate mouse cake. Ha! Yesssss. Oh I mean, no, no… Lol.

Before I learned that I could sing, I learned how to cook! A gift from my mother, definitely but the kitchen turned into a safe haven of sorts and I was definitely the KING! No one questioned me there and no one looked down on me.

As a matter of fact, one of my sisters and I would be sent into the kitchen to “figure it out” when food was low. We could figure a gourmet plan in minutes out of anything pretty much. Made me feel powerful, present and wanted. For me, the kitchen was the wrong place to affirm my existence and importance, plus I was still no G. Garvin, Emeril Lagasse or Paula Dean for that matter.

Don’t hear me wrong, food is Not a bad thing, and I am a fan of incredible culinary artistry, but you’ve heard it said, “too much of anything couldn’t be a good thing”.

Weight loss is not just a physical thing; it’s a mental clearing as well. You ever hear the saying “can’t see the forest for the trees? Well let me simplify… Your Belly Is In The Way! All of that junk inside is stuck forcing you to be stuck with it. Getting passed my cowardice is not about a fistfight it’s about a life fight a will to be the complete glory my Master Love Source has born me to become.

It’s a one step at a time process, melting away each layer you’ve added on to feel safe, worthy, strong and significant. You can’t accept the vision for your body or your life without accepting the path, the journey and all of its stunning hills of splendor and its low and dry valleys. There will be colorful, picturesque peeks, strong blistering winds, leveling life plateaus and gangly luscious trees for shade to rest as well. The point is…I’ve Put On My Boxing Gloves because I’m in the fight of my life!

As I’m tackling my personal demons and whooping their asses, I’m finding the new me, or should I say, I’m accepting the me that was always there…

Check me out at the boxing gym…I really thought I was doing something! When I almost passed out, I realiazed I actually was Doing Something… Becoming the Change I want to See!

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I saw a movie with Antonio Banderas recently, the premise was, well, crazy as hell. But it did leave a lingering notion to ponder. If I could be anyone else, who would I be? If I could change any body parts, which would I choose? The more I thought about the “modern” world with all of its cutting and changing of sorts, bleeding to be someone you weren’t born to be… I decided! Yes, there are changes that need to be made, some shape shifting that needs to happen but more than any of those thoughts was the wondrous truth that I would Never want to be anyone more than I want to be me. So why not make me Better!

Though I wouldn’t want to be anyone else, live in any other persons skin, and I damn sure don’t want to change any body parts…is there a way to be a better, brighter, more in tune me without succumbing to the lazy idea of cutting it off, over lapping and layering it, pinching and pulling on it?

Yes! There is! Wake up Fat Fat! Day II

The Wake Up Call for me was stepping on an electronic scale that read “ERROR”. I mean, what the hell!!!? You mean to tell me they don’t even make home scales that could tally my weight? It was disheartening, embarrassing and I even felt a bit of humiliation to say the least. And the truth is, there was no one there pointing fingers at me, laughing or making me feel like I was less than human. No one physically pointing I mean.

In one fell swoop I felt everything I’d felt back in my 11th grade math class. I came in, I sat down and the floor picked me up! Lol. Now, the reality is, the chair was a misfit. But it was still terrible. The teacher laughed 1st and there went my confidence as the classroom went into an uproar. The scale represented for me years of feeling alone and unwanted, reasonably unattractive simply because I weighed more than others. An untruth.

I was so clouded by the weight I’d put on that I began to limit my idea of self and who I am called to be. Leaving the weight behind is easy, (kinda) ? but the memories and reasoning in why I chose to eat the things I did, well, that’s the part that has to be fixed. I say has as in the present, because I still struggle, I still revert back to some of those thoughts that make me feel like salvation is Not in the church but in Church’s Chicken. But NOW the difference is, I call Victory before the battle. I understand that how I think about myself determines how far I’ll go, how much I’ll win, what I will accomplish. The goal is set and the mark Will be met. But that takes arming yourself properly. And that’s exactly what I’m doing.

My weapons of choice:

• DHERBS Full Body Cleanse
• A Gym Membership (Not a damn visitors pass) a pass can be revoked, membership is a decided action
• A RAW Food diet (Laaaaaawd knows this one is a work in progress)
• And Margo my fearless trainer (She’s last only because I have to be self motivated. Weight loss is a journey; no one is obligated to do this with you.)

Day 1 was hard, my mood was a flux, and I could all of a sudden smell every sweet and savory ingredient known to man and for some reason everybody seemed to be speaking to me extra loud and in code. Don’t know What that was all about. Lol.

I did manage to find some good raw food and I had two brilliant workouts. Yes ladies and gentlemen I said two, 2, dos, more than one. Believe it or not the workouts made me feel incredible. Look! The process is a process. Lets not weave false doctrine or smoke and lights…It’s going to take hard work to make the PV (Physical Vision) come to life. Lord knows I hope I’m as positive tomorrow as I sound today lol. Each day is different.

Tomorrow we’ll talk about me walking in the house to the smell of homemade hamburgers and then getting asked to make a store run for cupcakes, soda and cheetos. Lord knows, it took everything in me not to slap DEEE hell out of everyone in my path. Lol.

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